Naruto the Faithful
by Loric Kane
Summary: Apocalyptic ambitions boil over into the world. Powerful warriors, scheming Kages and greedy shareholders all fight each other in the shadows, ignorant that their actions weaken them. Only Satsuki Uchiha truly knows of the impending doom of the near future and has created a plan to end all plans. And her weapon of choice, an unassuming butler who could not care less.
1. Chapter 1

**AN: This is just something I've written because of a creative itch I had. Don't dig into it.**

 **Feb 3rd: Punctuation edited. About damn time, am I right?**

* * *

Time is a labyrinth.

Nothing is perfect, especially not infinity. Eventually, infinity curves back in on itself and creates a never ending loop of infinities. Hence when time 'began' - a word that holds little meaning when used in this context - it looped in on itself, spanning across non-real space infinitely. Time twisted and turned in and around itself forming shapes that can not be conceived by mortal minds.

Normal beings, at least the ones that can experience death, could not possibly hope to live long enough to see past events play out in the future or how future events directly caused those in the past. That luxury - or perhaps a curse depending on who one asks - belongs solely to the gods.

So to select a point to begin this story would be as pointless and trivial as pointing to the beginning of time itself. But, as we should at least start somewhere, as far as the characters within these following texts began as far as they knew or can tell began with a promise from a young boy to his most favourite person in the world.

"Obaasan, Obaasan!" Called a little boy as he tugged the hem of an old woman's sleeves

"Yes, Naruto-kun?" The woman chuckled

The boy pumped his fist out, declaring "I want to be the Hokage just like you!"

"My my, being a Hokage is a tough job" She played along "Why do you want to be Hokage Naruto-kun?"

"It's cool"

"Of course, it is" She ruffled the boys' blond hair "You would have to work very hard to be Hokage. You think you can do that?"

"You bet!" His eyes sparkled "I'm going to be the best Kunoichi the world has ever seen. I promise! Dattebayo!"

* * *

Encyclopedia of the ninja world

Entry 43

"Judging from the surviving records of the vast population from before the warring clan era, it is now known that the male gene once allowed the development of a chakra network.

It is considered a radical thought in the age of the kunoichi to imagine a world were male could use chakra in the same manner as their female counterparts. As it currently stands, the chakra network of males is severely underdeveloped, allowing only the minimal amount of chakra necessary to survive. In very rare cases males can sustain enough chakra to use very simple jutsus however, such skill has been deemed less than favorable. In the following chapters, I will discuss the possibility of 'chakra network degeneration' in greater detail using the male gene as the prime example.

As a side note, I personally find it unfortunate that, because of this, it has been increasingly hard to procure male genes for research. They all seem to mysteriously disappear."

Jun Gyoku (Professor of evolutionary biology, University of Hi no Kuni)

* * *

 **The wooden dynasty**

* * *

Within the vast forests of Hi no Kuni Team Gai dashed through the tree line with a purpose in their steps. One of team Gai's members glanced with her pale eyes at the normally vibrant green trees turning orange from the backdrop of the setting sun. Veins bulged around her eyes when she went to check the direction they were heading.

She frowned "Gai-sensei. Didn't the Hokage say that the bandits set up camp somewhere around those mountain ranges?" She pointed to the mountain to their right. They had been running around the mountain range for the past hour without actually entering and the team was getting jumpy "We found the remains of a camp a while ago. We know they are in there. Why not finish this mission already?"

"Excellent my student!" Their eccentric teacher flashed a smile that sent shivers down two of team members "It is admirable that you are so dedicated to the mission Haruka! Your flames of youth shine brighter with each passing day" She covered her eyes as twin waterfalls fell from them "Lee! Take note! Dedication and hard work can overcome every obstacle even outside of training. When you apply your mind and heart to any task, your flames of youth soars high into the sky!"

"Hai Gai-Sensei!" echoed the clone of the older woman, writing down every word that left her sensei's mouth like it was the word of the Sage herself.

"What did I do to deserve this?" A bun-haired girl whispered to herself.

Such was the dynamic of Team Gai. A strictly assault specialized genin squad, they were given to someone who fought like a Bijuu during the last great Kunoichi war.

Maito Gai was a muscular woman, with a relatively thin figure that implies those muscles were used for speed as much as it was used for power. Armed with an overly bright grin and fire in her eyes, she looked like a Kunoichi unlike any other in this world. Those who knew her knows of how at the beginning of her career she shared this excitement with her classmates. As wars were waged, everyone began to realize the harshness of the world. Except for Gai. She stayed the same.

At least... that was what everyone thinks.

The first of her students, a literal clone of Gai, only smaller and younger. Her name was Rock Lee and she was not really a literal clone of Gai. But no matter what they say no one will believe otherwise. Oblivious to the thoughts of her peers, Rock Lee was smitten with the ideals of Maito Gai and aspired to become a genius of hard work. It was her hope that she might one day stand on equal footing with the resident genius, Haruka Hyuga.

Speaking of Haruka Hyuga, it was by some twist of fate that landed her into team Gai. At first glance, she was without a doubt a wielder of the prestigious Hyuga bloodline, the Byakugan. Not only does her eyes pierce through objects around her, and give her 360-degree vision, they were also capable of a blank stare that bore into the souls of lesser minds. Though this was nothing special among the Hyuga. As a member of the pale-eyed clan, her regal posture, and chilling presence were but the norm.

Then there was Tenten. Unlike the rest of her team, she was neither an insane spandex wearing powerhouse nor prodigal Hyuga. A daughter of a blacksmith, she was the normal one of the team and by extension, the voice of reason on the team. Unfortunately, this had made her a background character.

In every interaction, her team has, she . . . she was just there.

"Can we please get back on track" Tenten groaned. "Haruka has a point, though. Where are we heading if not to the mountains?"

"We are going to meet our client before we carry on, " Gai said. Haruka's eyes perked up in curiosity

"We are? We've never done this on any other mission. Why now?"

"Ah, very perceptive of you Haruka. Our client is nothing special, however, who she works for is" Gai, in a rare moment of seriousness, glanced over at the Hyuga with an odd twinkle in her eyes. "Our client works for the Wooden Dynasty corporation. The compound we are heading to is the main headquarters where she works. Hokage-sama wishes to impress the head of the company with the flames of youth Konoha has to offer!"

"The Wooden Dynasty!" Haruka gasped, drawing the attention of her teammates. The Hyuga resisted scoffing at her teammate's ignorance "I heard of the company from the main Hyuga branch. They say about three years ago a Uchiha came out of nowhere and took control of all of the land of fire's wood industry and united it under a single banner, swiftly crushing any competition. It virtually monopolized two-thirds of wood production worldwide and became the most powerful company overnight"

Tenten gasped. "A Uchiha?! I thought Itachi Uchiha was the last one"

"No. Itachi left her little sister alive during the massacre. Satsuki Uchiha is was put in an orphanage for a short while before she disappeared off the face of the planet. . . everyone thought Itachi came back to finish the job. But it turns out we were wrong. At least that is what I heard" Haruka frowned when she thought of the surviving Uchiha. Even a young branch member like herself had restless nights thinking about the situation. A surviving female Uchiha other than Itachi was unbelievably important for Konoha's survival.

That's what she told herself at least. Before the massacre, the Uchiha and the Hyuga clans were locked in a political feud that seemed never ending. After the slow death of the Senju clan during the second great Kunoichi war, the silent power vacuum they left was left unfilled. The two greatest clans of Konoha eventually saw the end of their feud in the form of the massacre but with the appearance of the wooden dynasty headed by a Uchiha was of much concern.

Even a lowly branch member like her wanted to know whether this Uchiha will continue with the never ending crusade.

"Yosh!" Lee exclaimed. "So we are going to bring Satsuki-chan back to Konoha! I understand. This could be a chance for me to test my skills with the talent of one of the founding clans of Konoha!"

Gai clenched her fist and slammed it into Lee's head. "You fool! You fail to consider whether or not she does choose to come back to Konoha. Listen closely Lee, for I will tell you of a tale of a daring rescue mission I lead during the final years of the third great Kunoichi war!"

Tenten was confused about what Gai said and slowed down next to Haruka who already knew what she was going to ask.

"I don't know all the details but I heard that multiple envoys to Uchiha-sama asking her to return to Konoha were all turned down. They say that she has no interest in being a Kunoichi and turns down anything not business related. Her company is completely self-sufficient, having its own personal samurai force. She is untouchable politically and physically as she has strong ties with the fire dynamo and legendary A-rank ex-kunoichi maids around her at all times . . . Not even Kumo is dumb enough to try and kidnap her"

Tenten didn't notice Haruka clenching her jaws at the mention of Kumo.

"So the whole purpose of the mission is to suck up to Uchiha-san then" Tenten mused before she visibly flinched "Wait a minute . . . We are basically dealing with royalty here!"

"And?"

"Why did the Hokage send us of all people!"

"Don't worry Tenten-chan!" Lee shouted from the front of the formation ."Our flames of youth will shine so bright Uchiha-san will have to come back with us!"

"You are right Lee!" Gai cheered. "Let your soul roar! Let the will of fire light the fire within her heart!"

"..."

"..."

"...Haruka?"

"Yes?"

"We're screwed aren't we."

"...It is our fate."

* * *

In an office not far from team Gai's current location, a woman was sitting in her office shifting through trade offerings with her butler standing right behind her. Suddenly the woman paused from her frustrating work placed her pen down. It did not go unnoticed by her butler of three years.

"What's wrong, Hime?" Her butler asked. "Is there something you want me to do?"

"There are Kunoichi heading this way. I can feel their chakra" She said flatly, cupping her hands together in thought. Silence. "Tsk. It was probably Chico, she wanted to hire Konoha to get rid of the bandits that stole my stuff. That woman..."

"Ma ma, take it easy on her Hime. Her heart was in the right place," He grinned, breaking the butler's code of professionalism. "It was bound to happen. Especially when Suiton is due to arrive in a week"

"You're too soft on her. This is insubordination, she should have followed my orders to the letter" The woman huffed and pouted "I thought you said you were checking all mail coming in and out of the compound. How did Chico get a message to Konoha then?"

"Hmm. . . It must've been her assistant. She went with the last shipment to the capital. Chico wouldn't trust anyone else to do so . . . Look on the bright side, at least with this, I know where to start with the security reforms you wanted. The last owner of the compound really neglected security" The man looked at the woman expectantly. "So what are you going to do about the bandits then, Hime? We were going to wait for Katon to get back on their tasks but now with the Konoha Kunoichi here..."

"Invite them in for dinner and offer a place to stay I suppose. It is getting late" There was a loud sigh. "I will keep them occupied for a time while you will deal with those bandits yourself"

"Me?" He gasped. "But Hime! Who will throw flower petals on the ground as you walk? Who will go massage your back as you work? Who will dress you tonight-"

"Shut up baka!" She blushed, jabbing her finger into his chest. "It was you who allowed this to happen so you will fix this mess"

He laughed a musical laugh as he walked out of the room. "Hai hai. Your wish is my command"

"Oh and Naruto!" The woman cooed.

Stopping in his tracks he turned to his master. "Yes, Satsuki-Hime?"

"Remember, I requested you personally prepare dinner for me tonight," The Uchiha flashed a sly smile. "I expect dinner after sun-down. Say . . . in about three hours?"

Naruto's eyebrow twitched but he kept on smiling. "Hai, Satsuki-Hime"

* * *

Very soon the dense tree tops thinned before they came to an end. Team Gai found themselves in a wood yard, a wooden factory resting in the distance. Besides it, a good distance away was a large stone mansion. Even from where they stood, Team Gai could smell the scent of sawdust and dry sap. Deciding to walk the rest of the way, they found mostly men working the fallen trees littered about before dragging the wood off to the compound. Haruka, in particular, noticed that the men were well-fed and happy.

It was common to have men do manual labor is most places. They were cheaper than a woman who could use chakra hence it was also not uncommon to see men in poorer working conditions. Such as the Hyuga clan who automatically brands any male born and their children as a branch member as an attempt to control the Byakugan. It pained her to admit that she was one such child of a branch member, the twin brother in fact of the clan head. It seems fate did not favor them even if they were so close to the clan head.

Haruka sighed to herself, knowing that she would probably have to take control of the situation with Satsuki Uchiha, being the most used to formal situations out of all her team.

As they came closer the size and scale of everything became magnified. Not only the amounts of wood being processed but the sheer size of the piles of wood was probably enough to build at least a dozen warships. Then there was the mansion which stood tall and majestic, observing the operation from a small hilltop. Now that they were closer, team Gai could see the pure marble stones and flawless tinted glass reflect an aura of wealth and a personality to flaunt it.

So far, everything seemed to suggest that Satsuki was not a normal Uchiha. Haruka was told that that, back in the good old days the Uchiha, though every powerful, weren't as rich as her clan was. Because of the Byakugan, the Hyuga made many friends in the political sphere through their work as bodyguards and sentries. The Sharingan, on the other hand, made the Uchiha better suited to investigation hence their position of military police. The Uchiha weren't all that bright when it came to politics she was told.

Satsuki, it seems, was very talented at diplomacy which seemed to worry the Hyuga clan. The Satsuki Uchiha possessed a wealth that made even Haruka's noble clan leaders green with envy. Haruka was young and inexperienced but she could imagine the horror of the clan leaders when they discovered that their long lost political rival showed up out of the blue with that amount of money. Just when they finished establishing their power base in Konoha too.

It made the Hyuga clan immensely frustrated.

And it made Haruka feel genuine ecstasy.

Waiting for them at the entrance to the estate was a young woman dressed strikingly in a kimono. It was easy to spot her as she was the only thing remotely clean in the wood yard. She was no doubt their client. Haruka felt Gai's hand on her shoulder. As usual, she would be the ambassador for their team. Turning on her Hyuga side, she pushed her way up to their client.

"Good evening" Haruka bowed, which was mimicked by her team. "We are team Gai. We are the Kunoichi sent from Konohagakure to deal with your problem"

"Good evening. My name is Chico Nakao" The woman bowed back politely. The very slight layer of sweet along her forehead did not go unnoticed by the Kunoichi nor the edge to her voice. Though she stilled smiled at them it was obvious she was quite annoyed. "Are you here to tell me that you've already killed them? You don't have to. I already paid your village"

"No not at all, Nakao-san" Gai smiled. It was part of their routine that Gai should speak. After all, the adult of the group needs to have somewhat of a presence. "We have traveled for the whole day to reach here. My team is tired and we were hoping for lodgings" It was a lie. An unyouthful one in her opinion, but she would not call herself a Kunoichi if she could not lie.

"I see" Whether Chico frowned at the glare coming from either the setting sun or Gai's teeth, no one knew. "I suppose there are some spare rooms available. If you don't mind sleeping among the workers..."

"We will accept whatever you offer us"

"I'm sure you will" Her eyes narrowed slightly "I am sure you remember what happened the last time your village sent kunoichi here. Satsuki-sama does not wish to talk anything but business. You will most likely not see her during your trip"

Haruka gulped "I assure you the thought never crossed our minds. We merely wish for lodgings"

Before the Chico could say anything a voice pierced through, making her visibly flinch.

"Chico-san"

"N-Naruto-kun!" Chico jumped back. "W-What are you doing here?"

"Hime is not pleased with you Chico. You undermined her orders, bringing the Kunoichi here" Chico looked like she about to buckle with shame and regret in a very unladylike way before Naruto laid his hand on her shoulder "Don't worry too much Chico. I'll talk to her tonight and see if I can get you off the hook"

"T-Thank you Naruto-kun" She blushed into hands like a child.

"Don't mention it. Your heart was in the right place" Naruto turned his gaze to the Kunoichi "You may continue with your work Chico. Hime has asked me to invite them into the mansion for dinner"

"Hai Naruto-kun. I understand, and again, thank you" She bowed deeply towards him and the Kunoichi before rushing off, failing miserably to hide her giggle.

During the small interaction, the younger members of team Gai were entranced with the strange and exotic look of the handsome blond. Even the normally stoic Hyuga failed to suppress their natural teenage female instincts when looking at the man named Naruto. He had blond hair which shone more brightly than any Yamanaka and had eyes which made their hearts explode with ecstasy. Not to mention those strange cheek marks of his made him look cute at a certain angle.

At the other end, Naruto looked amused at the girls who looked around his and Satsuki's age. He was used to the looks he would get. After years of serving and growing up with a girl, he learned to pick up on the small details. Too bad he still didn't know how to handle these types of situations, though. It came with being Naruto Uzumaki.

"Greetings Kunoichi-san. My name is Naruto Uzumaki, Satsuki Uchiha's personal servant" Naruto bowed, laughing silently to himself when he saw then jolt "My master would like to extend a formal invitation to dinner. She also offers you a room at her personal residence if you so wish"

"H-Hai" Haruka cleared her throat. "We are team Gai. I am Haruka Hyuga, this is Tenten, Lee and our sensei, Maito Gai. We gratefully accept your master's invitation"

"Wonderful. Please follow me" Naruto smiled, leading them to the mansion. There was no need to say much, which Haruka understood. Servants were often the first thing guests see. They were to be professional as to not give their master a bad reputation.

It was a short trip, over the hill and through the walls surrounding the large building. Now inside the property, team Gai was meet with a canvas flower beds and two small koi ponds connected by a flowing river. The serene gardens were a marvel of traditional and modern gardening ideas which reflected the bold new design choices of the mansion. Usually, buildings such as these were only found in Tsuchi no Kuni were marble were plentiful.

However, the most striking detail was not the design. It was the sight of at least a hundred maids doing a range of tasks ranging from tending to the flower beds to manning the walls and lookout towers. They were Kunoichi. All of them, graceful and delicate, did not look like any Kunoichi they've ever seen. But with the slight bulges under their sleeves and the very small sound of clinking metal, it was undeniable.

"Yes, the rumors are true. Save for myself, all staff here are either Kunoichi and Samurai" Naruto said, getting all their attention "My master is very cautious as you would expect. Not only do the hidden villages want her bloodline, but there are many who wish to destabilize the organization she has worked so hard to build"

"Has there ever been an attack?" Tenten asked.

"No" He shrugged "But you can never be too careful in this world."

"I recognize some of these women," Gai said, glancing to her side "I haven't seen them since the Kyuubi attack"

"So they're missing-nin?" Tenten asked

Gai shook her head "No. A lot of people retired after the attack. After fighting a war for their loved ones, losing them to the Kyuubi was worst thing that could have happened to them"

"Indeed. Hime has a policy on never hiring missing-nin. They are often too much trouble for their worth" Naruto smiled making eye contact with many of the maids who merely nodded in respect "So you know some of them huh Gai-san? Isn't that wonderful? Perhaps you will have a chance to catch up with them later tonight"

When they entered the mansion, Naruto grinned at the faces of the Kunoichi. The mansion is of Satsuki's design, and would feel happy knowing that others enjoyed it as much as she did. The walls and floors were themed with gold and deep red colours which glowed under the candle lights above.

In other noble houses, the artwork would be the centerpiece of any wall. However, the walls and halls of this mansion were filled to the brim with artifacts of old. Adorning the walls were framed crumbling maps and rusted tools and weapons. Being the expert in all things pointy, Tenten could see that even the seemingly plain swords were extremely different than the weapons. Different forging techniques, exciting metal compositions, and experimental grips. Through the small details, Tenten saw the history of war itself.

Haruka was more entranced by the most fragile artifacts which found its home in display cases lining the halls. In them laid the most fragile weapons, ceramics decorated with historical art and patterns, and even some strange tickets she knew nothing of. The collection of plates alone could rival the Hyuga clan's own art collecting in monetary value. Glancing through the tomes, she saw unknown languages were describing pictures with what looked to be the beginnings of chakra usage. The only language she recognized, but not read, was one which was used thousands of years ago, during the age of the sage of the six paths.

"I see you like our collection" Naruto smiled, brushing his fingers over the glass cases "Before Satsuki built this company, she and I traveled around the world. We raided tombs catacombs for simple daggers, we chased myths and legends not knowing what we would find. It was the time of our lives"

Tenten sighed longingly, "Ah, that sounds romantic."

"Romantic? Hahaha! Don't let Satsuki hear you say that."

"Why? Is she shy?"

"No. She's a major tsundere."

Seeing her students take their time processing the information Gai spoke up "You are close to Uchiha-sama then..."

"Hai hai." Naruto eyed her. He spoke with a deceptively aloof tone that hid a sharpness only Gai noticed. "It's not my place to tell you, though. She doesn't really like talking about her past. It brings back memories she would rather forget."

"I understand."

Seconds later they reached the office of the Uchiha. Knocking on the door in a rhythm, it unlocked and opened on its own.

"Fuinjutsu. For extra security" he said off handily to the Kunoichi "You may enter. Uchiha-sama is expecting you."

When team Gai entered to room Naruto shut the door tight and sighed looking out the window.

"The the things I do for women."

Inside the office, Team Gai stood still unsure what to do. Sitting in front of them was a dark-haired beauty that looked around the same age as the genin. She was aggressively attacking her paperwork and seemed to not notice, or care, that someone has entered the room. Thankfully before anyone could get too fidgety, her head raised from her work.

"Please, sit" She gestured to the couches in front of her. Team Gai wordlessly moved to the seating where Satsuki went to meet them.

Despite being only 16 years old and a head shorter than her butler, Satsuki had a noble and imposing aura of a diplomat around her. She was oddly pale for someone who supposedly went tomb raiding in her past time but it only added to her beauty when she let her long raven hair fall down to her shoulders. To the kunoichi who lived in conflict since they were young, it was surprising to feel that same caution they fell in battle when they stood near her.

So this, they realized, was what true nobility felt like.

Bowing before she sat Haruka was the one to speak "Thank you for having us here. I am Haruka Hyuga and these are my teammates and sensei"

They bowed one by one.

"I'm Tenten"

"Rock Lee! Konoha's green beast!"

"And I am Maito Gai! Konoha's green beast of prey!"

"I am Satsuki Uchiha. I welcome you to my estate." A curt bow was given in return before they all sat down "Do you want any refreshments? It's a long journey from here to Konoha"

"Yes please!" Lee's face crunched up in an attempt to be as polite as possible. However, she ended up looking a bit angry. With a small nod, Satsuki clapped her hands in an odd rhythm. Only Gai heard the silent movement of maids moving from behind the walls. The message was obvious. 'You are surrounded'. Only a second later a maid **Shunshin** in, dropping off biscuits and drinks before leaving the way she came.

"You have a very beautiful home, Uchiha-sama" When Satsuki turned to Tenten the girl buckled under her gaze "A-Ah your collection of weapons are very impressive. Even I can tell how hard it must have been to find them"

"Ah, a weapons enthusiast? Why yes, it was hard to track them down. But much like everything in this mansion, no expense has been spared" She mentally giggled watching the bun-haired girl squirm, trying to figure out something to say.

She was no doubt amused at the fresh genin's attempt to be polite. It was refreshing compared to her times dealing with hardened politicians. Looking at the girls around her age, she remembered what it was like when she first started out as a business woman. Though she couldn't fault them. They dealt with a different kind of 'cut-throat' and 'hardened veterans' than Kunoichi. Probably the only thing she and the Kunoichi truly shared was the fact that they both daily dealt with people who would rather see them dead.

Leaning back, Satsuki looked to the older woman "Now, I take it you are here to take care of our little problem" It was more of a statement rather than a question "That is the only reason I can think of as to why Konoha's Kunoichi are on _my_ land, when I specifically stated to your Hokage not to send any Kunoichi"

"Forgive us if we have offended you, Uchiha-sama" Haruka was quick to apologize before Gai could say anything. Haruka was so used to the affairs of the Hyuga clan that she naturally developed an automatic reaction of a picture perfect politician.

However, one thing she has not learned yet was that picture perfect politicians were the worst kind of politician.

Looking over to the Hyuga, Satsuki's eyes twinkled in amusement "Very diplomatic of you Hyuga. I expect nothing else from Konoha's now strongest clan. I do hope taking my clan's place on Konoha's food chain has not gone to your head" The jab at the Hyuga clan was meant only to sting the girl, but Satsuki couldn't keep a small amount of genuine discontent in her words from escaping. Sitting back, she linked her fingers together and crossed her legs "Let's not beat around the bush, shall we? Your mission is over, you _will_ return back to Konoha tomorrow, this problem is ours to solve. I will reimburse your village for your absence and nothing else. This is nonnegotiable"

"If I may Uchiha-sama" Tenten interjected "We came all this way from Konoha for a mission. It would be a waste to turn us back"

"I agree with Tenten!" Lee declared "It would be most unyouthful to allow any more trouble to effect you"

Gai nodded furiously "My students bring up youthful points Uchiha-sama. We will carry out our mission as planned"

The idea was that whether or not Satsuki paid for their work, it was important to showcase the will of fire Konoha prides themselves over. At the end of the day, Konoha was not a village of the land of fire, rather a glorified independently funded military base. A business. Its luxuries such as a business center, its high life expectancy and quality of life were all paid for by clients from across the globe. The will of fire was essentially their sales pitch, designed to draw in customers.

And because Satsuki alone had a sizeable portion of the world under her fingertips, she was the ultimate prize.

The petite Uchiha had other ideas, though.

"I'm sorry. I cannot allow you to do that" She sighed, shaking her head "I'm sure you've noticed, but I have an army of Kunoichi right here with me. If I want to I can kill all of the bandits myself by tomorrow. Do you know why I choose not to?"

"Information" Gai answered immediately, frowning all the while. Seeing her genin's confusion she elaborated "Bandits don't always kill people for money. Most of the time, they are working for big companies. It's an unyouthful tactic, using bandits to gather information and attack rivals"

"Youthful or not, it is a valid tactic Gai-san and I am not ashamed to admit it" The genin look horrified to which the Uchiha shrugged "There are bandits everywhere girls. Don't you find it strange that normal men with swords exist in a world of fire spitting Kunoichi? The only reason they continue to exist is because those higher in the food chain has a use for them. Take your Hokage for example. Hidden villages all need a source of income and eliminating bandits are a constant source of it. If she just kills all of them then that income will dry up"

"Then why did your manager want us to kill them?" Tenten demanded

She frowned "Because they stole something from me. For some reason, they stopped follow orders and turned on us"

"That is what bandits do Uchiha-sama, " Lee said. "They are an unyouthful bunch"

"No, that does not happen in the real world. Money speaks to them and they would not risk losing my favor. There are only two explanations to why they stole my stuff. One is that someone came to them with more money than me. That is highly unlikely. The second is that someone forced them into submission. Someone who they fear more than me. Someone powerful" She sighed once more "This has been happening all over the land of fire. Bandits are not listening to clients anymore, and this is worrying"

Haruka's eyes narrowed. The way Satsuki's tongue suddenly started to slip was troubling to her. "Why are you telling us this?"

Satsuki stared blankly for a second before replying "Honestly I hope this little piece of information would help you take them down in some way. Someone is gathering all the bandits humanly possible and it could turn into a big problem for the both of us. You still won't get my favor but if you do get rid of them then it would be a win-win . . . As long as you don't kill these specific bandits that is."

This was not what team Gai had in mind when they entered the office. But with the information that they were given they realized that this was probably the only way Konoha could get on the Uchiha's good side.

"Very well Uchiha-sama" Gai bowed "We will return to Konoha first thing tomorrow"

"Wonderful. I'm glad we got that sorted out" Satsuki put her hands together and smiled gracefully "Dinner starts in two hours. Why don't you all take a bath before then"

With her maids leading the Kunoichi to their rooms, Satsuki was left in peace. With nothing but the clock ticking in the background, Satsuki looked out the windows at the mountains.

"I wonder how Naruto-kun is doing?"

* * *

"What the hell are you doing Mizuki-teme?"

Said missing-nin scoffed at the man in front of her. The blond brat always had a talent for stealth. No matter how many of her men were on lookout he could always sneak in. At the back of her mind, she swore she knew the boy from somewhere. She could not say she was not expecting hi, though. With what she ordered her men to do she was expecting the Uchiha to send someone to 'take care' of her but with the appearance of the blond, Mizuki was all in all, happy.

"What do you mean, brat?" She grinned slyly "I haven't been doing anything"

"Tsk" Naruto's fist clenched making Mizuki's grin widen "You attacked our messengers. I know for a fact that you can't open the scrolls they carried and you've kept them here. If hand over those scrolls, Satsuki is willing to continue our previous arrangement"

Mizuki started to laugh manically "That little girl you serve thinks she's on top of the food chain. But there are more powerful women out there. You should have stayed missing because your master's time is up"

"...Has anyone ever told you that you look ugly laughing like that." Naruto harder glared at Mizuki. The two bandits behind Naruto drew their weapons with an audible sliding of blades and took a step forwards. Despite not having any weapons, Naruto stood strangely calm in a room filled with killing intent aimed at him "I shouldn't be surprised you betrayed us, though. I knew it was a bad idea hiring you. Never trust a traitor"

"You're not scared" Mizuki's gleeful insanity dropped slightly before picking right back up, "I think I might send your feisty little tongue back to you master. Kill him!"

The bandits cried their attacks when lunged at the blonde's back with their blades. Naruto made no effort to dodge the attack, only standing still without a care in the world. In an instant, Naruto let his eyes flash with bright excitement causing Mizuki to remember a certain boy from her own village. A boy she hated with a passion. Before they could even reach Naruto, the bandits dropped dead at his feet, leaving a grinning boy and a furiously mad woman alone.

"It's you" Mizuki was frothing at the mouth seeing _it_ stand right before her. Even now the object of her madness taunted her even after leaving that village. Naruto opened his mouth but clamped it shut when he sidestepped a kunai aiming for his throat "You. .I remember you now! Kyubi! I'll kill you!"

Naruto chuckled "You finally went over the deep end, huh Mizuki-teme"

The mad woman charged forward with a kunai in hand. Without any form or skill, she stabbed at Naruto. The boy allowed himself to feel disappointed at the Kunoichi's tactic before he went in for the kill. Weaving himself under her extended arm spun around jabbed her shoulder blade, breaking bone, and tearing through muscles. Mizuki screamed and fell her knees clutching her shoulder. Even through the pain, she continued to glare up at Naruto.

"Wow, you really let yourself go" He gloated "Real kunoichi wouldn't lose because of a broken shoulder."

"Fuck you!" With her working arm, she stabbed at the blond once more.

Then crack. Without warning Mizuki's injured shoulder blade shattered and exploded like a fleshy red paper bomb. Before she could scream again, Naruto's knee slammed into her face, sending her flying out of the tent and into a tent full of crates. Walking calmly out of the main tent with his arms behind his head, Naruto was met with a stunned silence of the gathering bandits. Clutching her stump that used to be her arm, Mizuki stood up defiantly. The pain of losing her arm was muted compared to her overwhelming rage.

"I fucking knew you were a demon!" She spat "No man can use chakra like that!"

"Chakra?" He tilted his head innocently "I didn't use chakra"

Turning to her men she shouted "What are you fuckers doing! Kill him!"

Naruto grinned when they hesitated.

"Did you say he could use chakra?" One sweaty little man shivered

"She did call him a demon..."

"Is fighting a demon really a good idea?"

"Fuck it, I'm out guys. I'm done with this bandit shit"

"H-Hey! Wait up dude!"

Growling like a rabid dog, Mizuki pulled out a strange vial out of her pockets and swallowed it in one go. Naruto played with the thought of cracking a joke but in the end decided not to. Mizuki's muscles started to converse and grew massive. Growing double her size, Mizuki started to sprout fur and soon became a hulking mass of muscle and fur. Naruto had to admit that she looked kind of like a humanoid tiger.

Grinning with her new found power she pounced towards the traitorous bandits and tore through them like butter. In the middle of the carnage, Naruto yawned with boredom.

"So . . . Orochimaru then?"

"That's right" Mizuki appeared in a blink of an eye in front of Naruto. The monster that was Mizuki was so close, their noses were touching. The strength of Mizuki's breath was strong enough to blow Naruto's spiky locks of hair. Looking down at the boy the insanity in her eyes made her think that Naruto was cowering in fear. Far from it. Naruto was still bored shitless "Well Kyubi! How does it feel to meet your doom?!"

"Ne, ne that's cute" The shadows of his bands masked his eyes from Mizuki, "You think that little bottle can give you nature chakra. How about I show you how it's supposed to be done"

He opened eyes he smiled merrily. Looking down into his eyes, Mizuki suddenly felt very, very weak.

" **Senjutsu.** "

With eyes, colored with the colors of heaven itself Naruto moved.

* * *

Haruka Hyuga's eyes were fixed solely on the ugly green seal tattooed into the skin of her forehead within the mirror. Scanning her naked body, it was the only scar on her otherwise fair skin. Other girls at the academy used to stare at her seal also. By now she was used to the seal. But the fact she usually covered it with her forehead protector told her that the sting of the curse seal was not only physical...

She should not be thinking like this. She was a Kunoichi now. Something as vein as beauty was not something she could afford.

Pulling up her towel from the floor she wrapped it around her frame. She had just had a private bath which was prepared for her by the maids at the mansion. She moaned when she remembered the relaxing water on her skin. For some reason, the water here was much more pleasing than the natural springs of Konoha. Probably because she didn't have to deal with her idiotic teammate and sensei.

As soon as she got dressed in a surprisingly well fitting kimono given to her by Satsuki, there was a knock on the door. Opening it she saw greeted by a stoic glasses-wearing girl.

"I will lead you to the dining room" Haruka blinked at the retreating backside of the made before she hurried to catch up with her.

The maids around here were awfully observant. When she was having a bath she was curious about the mansion and went to activate her Byakugan only for a kunai to mysteriously appear right between her legs. Aside from the invasion of privacy, they were flawless servants. Being looked after in such a...hawkish way gave her a glimpse into the lives of those she served. Being tended to her every need was something she needed time to get used to but she could see herself enjoying it greatly in the future.

"You look like you're enjoying yourself"

The pale eyed girl jumped a bit. Right beside her was Satsuki, her face was now cheerful and no longer cooled with an emotionless passion of a politician. Or at least as cheerful as a Uchiha can be.

"I'm sorry Uchiha-sama!" Haruka bowed on impulse. She heard Satsuki from above her giggle. The Hyuga let out a small 'eep' when Satsuki started to pat her on the head. Haruka jerked back blushing like mad. Satsuki just stood there gracefully, if such a thing was possible, with the smile never leaving her face.

"Please, don't apologize." Satsuki lightly grabbed Haruka's shoulders and straightened her up "I'm the one who is supposed to be saying sorry."

"You? Why?"

"Ehehehehe" Satsuki looked away from the pale eyed girl nervously "...I may have put a genjutsu on your team when we were talking before"

Haruka's eyes bulged "A genjutsu! When! How!"

"When you thought I was doing paperwork. It activated as soon as we met eye to eye" Satsuki brought up her left hand in a half tora hand sign "Of course, I didn't put one on you because of your Byakugan. But I noticed that you overthought things a tad too much. Just a glare or two and you crumbled Hyuga-san. It was a good try, though, good job. I'm sure with more experience, you will be a great negotiator for your clan."

Haruka took a slight step back in shock. Sure, her sensei was very stupid at times. Very, very stupid. But Gai was a jonnin who fought in a war. To put her under an illusion was no joke.

Just how powerful was Satsuki?

"You...You're not what I imagined you to be Uchiha-sama"

"Ara? And what did you think I was like?"

Haruka wanted to look down but held her head up high as a true Hyuga would "I met the head of the military police when my little cousin was nearly kidnapped by Kumo... She was... not very nice"

Satsuki still smiled but her enthusiasm was severely dampened "I...I see. Fugaku Uchiha. She was my mother... And I'm sure you know how that turned out"

Silence. Still quite scared of Satsuki, Haruka wished they never mentioned their families.

Sucking up her fear she said "H-How about we go to dinner?"

"Dinner!" The Uchiha gasped "Yes, let's go! My slave's cooking always cheers me up"

"Uzumaki? He's going to be cooking for us?" Haruka blushed a bit remembering the attractive blond. Satsuki noticed this but didn't say anything, only frowned slightly. Irritated she mumbled something about 'murdering a blond'.

* * *

Elsewhere, a blond effortlessly crushed a sneeze before he shuttered like a ghost brushed his cheek. Looking up to the sky, he sighed

"God damn tsundere. All tsun Tsun and no dere dere until the very end of the story...Unless it's a stupid harem show. Then all dem bitches be dere dere" He scratched his cheek "Also the sneezing thing is kinda getting old. It probably never happens. Then again, makes a good transition scene I guess"

* * *

They were seated at a modest table, Satsuki and team Gai. Here, Haruka felt most at home as they all sat on cushions rather than chairs with a table to match. This room was designed differently than the rest of the mansion. Much like the Hyuga clan, this side of the estate used paper sliding doors, soft wood floors and even had a Kotatsu. With everyone dressing in Kimonos the scene of everyone sitting on their knees, some less comfortable than others struck a chord in her heart.

"G-Gai-sensei" Besides her, Lee swayed side to side trying to get blood to her suffocating legs "This is the most difficult thing I have done in weeks...Is this some sort of training?"

Across the table, Gai grinned. "That pain means you're doing it right! You must learn to withstand all pain, Lee. It will temper your mind and soul so that your flames shall soar later!"

"But this is a pain I have never felt before. Aren't you in pain to Gai Sensei?"

"Lee, Gai!" Tenten whispered harshly "Be quiet! You're being rude"

Gai nodded, ignoring Tenten "Hai. I'm in extreme pain. I believe my legs need amputating soon"

At the head of the table, Satsuki took her time to watch the strange team in front of her. In some ways, it was refreshing seeing new exaggerated personalities and the obvious pain of the other two team members. It was also refreshing because...Well...They were way tamer compared to the people she knew.

"It's nearly time for dinner," Satsuki said, looking at the out of place grandfather clock in the room "He should be here at eight"

"Your butler's cutting it close Uchiha-sama" Haruka noted. The Uchiha shook her head with a knowing smile

"Naruto is never late. He'll be here in three...two...one..."

"Ladies?" Team Gai jumped from their seats. Standing on the other side of the table was the handsome blond they all met earlier today. With only a bead of sweat rolling down his cheek, Naruto made it just in time. Snapping his fingers, the doors behind him slid open and a handful of maids rolled in with freshly made food. "Dinner is served" Naruto picked up a tray of food given to him by one of the maids and went to Satsuki's side to give her the food. He and the maids didn't place it down yet, making some of the guests salivate at the smell.

"The food smells delicious!" Lee exclaimed "It smell like...It smells like...!"

At the same time, Naruto and the maids set the trays down in front of the expecting persons "We have fresh squid that was bathed in a special seaweed sauce, served with sides of sea urchin and shaved..."

"Naruto" Satsuki interrupted. "These women aren't nobles. They're soldiers. They don't need to know what you're serving"

"...Very well"

Naturally, Haruka was the first to recover. "H-hai, thank you Uzumaki-san. Your effort is appreciated."

"Your enjoyment is all I ask for" He bowed. Looking at Satsuki he smiled "And of course I made yours personally. As instructed."

"Wonderful, thank you my slave" She looked satisfied at Naruto's twitching eyebrow. Before Naruto could bow and walk away, Satsuki grabbed the edge of his sleeve, almost like a child "Where are you going? Aren't you going to stay with us? This is your food after all"

"...Understood"

This was new for Haruka. In traditional settings, not just in the Hyuga clan but virtually everywhere, servants never sit at the main table with the guests. It was only the fact that she was a servant herself, did she remained dignified when Naruto sat next to her. She cursed her body. It was much easier for Haruka to stay in control when she was younger. Now that she was sixteen, her hormones raged uncontrollably.

While Haruka was busy crushing the effects of her raging female hormones, Naruto was eyeing his master suspiciously. Both of them had a past with Konoha, and neither was at all good. Knowing the Uchiha, she wanted to flaunt Naruto as a trophy of some sort. After all, he was supposed to be Konoha's weapon.

Then there was a part of him that said that Satsuki was still conflicted about her feelings about Konoha and wanted him by her side. There was always that possibility.

Clapping their hands together there was a united 'itadakimasu' before they all started to dig in.

"This is the best food I've ever tasted!" Tenten shivered in euphoria "I wish I could cook like this"

"Hai! It is a dish with celebrating" Gai and Lee gave him a thumbs up

Satsuki nodded in agreement "I expect nothing less from my servant"

"Thank you for your kind words" Naruto inclined his head to them. Looking to his side he saw the Hyuga eating rather quietly "How about you? Do you like my cooking?"

"...It is acceptable"

"Coming from a Hyuga, I'll take that as a complement" Naruto chuckled, ignoring the conversation between Satsuki and the rest of the team "Your team is very...interesting Hyuga-san"

"Please, don't remind me" Haruka made a small sound that Naruto assumed was a groan. Pointing to the spandex wearing women the Hyuga said "I just want to pass the chunin exams so I can get away from those idiots"

"They don't look that bad" It was then Gai shattered the plate in half with a loud crack while trying to cut a slice of squid. The tearful sorry did not stop Naruto's frown and Satsuki's amusement from growing "...That was our good china..."

"Hmph. See, what did I tell you?" Haruka crossed her arms "They're useless. Lee is pointlessly fighting her fate of a failed Kunoichi, Gai is helping her unhealthy illusion and Tenten is your average run of the mill Kunoichi. She and Lee will never achieve anything higher than cannon fodder. It is their fate"

"...You don't have a high opinion of your teammates do you" Haruka was about to answer an affirmative but saw a strange twinkle in Naruto's eyes. His body may be young but his eyes carried a wisdom equal to the Sandaime Hokage "Have you heard of the story of the Sage of the six paths?"

"The god of chakra?"

"Close. The Sage was the one who defeated the god of chakra, the Juubi" By this time, everyone had stopped eating and was listening intently on Naruto. Any story about the Sage was hard to come by "You see, long ago when the Sage was traveling through the land she discovered something. She was weak. Every day she battled toe Juubi to a draw. Every single time. She was the only one born of the Juubi and the only one who had its chakra so there was no one that could help her. But then she found something. She found someone"

"The Sage found a man. He could not use chakra but he was a man of near infinite wisdom. With his knowledge, he helped create a ninja art that helped seal the Juubi into the moon and helped with the creation of the tail beasts" Naruto looked directly at Satsuki "The only other thing known about the man was that he eventually fathered the Senju and Uchiha clan. It was said that the Senju inherited the Sage's body, while the Uchiha inherited the man's mind"

"That's a nice story but what does that have to do with anything?" Haruka huffed "And why should I believe anything you say. This sounds like a made up fairytale"

"Ruins can tell a lot of stories Hyuga-san" Satsuki grinned like a Cheshire cat "And as it turns out, you are talking to the foremost expert on fairy tales"

Naruto smiled knowingly at Lee "The whole point of this story was that even an all powerful being that could go toe to toe with a god needed help from someone who was weak. Lee, even if you don't become the strongest there is, the Hokage will come to rely on you like she relies on all of her Kunoichi"

"Yosh!" Lee cried "You are right! I will become the best Kunoichi I can be even if I don't beat you Haruka!"

"HAHAHA!" Gai bellowed "Wise words Uzumaki-kun! Let us toast to this youthful occasion!"

The maids came and went with clear glasses of sake, giving one to each of the persons sitting at the table. Lifting their glasses, Satsuki cheered "To...uh...what are we toasting to again?"

"Friendship, my lady?"

"Ah, yes. Thank you, slave"

"Ack-!"

"To friendship!"

"Cheers!"

"...so what now?"

"I don't know. In the movies, usually someone gets drunk or the scene cuts out randomly."

"So which one is it?"

"Ah...Lee? Are you ok?"

Said Kunoichi was swerving left to right with a glazed look in her eyes. Naruto looked down at his cup. He swore that there was not much alcohol in it. When Tenten went to tap Lee on the shoulder, she was sent flying through the paper door on the other side of the room. While Naruto, Gai, and Haruka tried to restrain the berserk, shitfaced drunk girl, Satsuki sighed heavily as she beckoned one of her maids to get her the rest of the bottle of sake.

"...We didn't even get to the tomato salad."

* * *

 _Mom! Dad!_

 _You weren't supposed to be here_

 _Onee-sama...why?!_

 _Hate me Satsuki_

 _Only then you will be strong enough to kill me_

 _I'll find you Onee-sama!_

Satsuki shot out of her bed with her Sharingan flaring wildly. She was sweating like mad and her breathing labored. Feeling the cold steel of a kunai in her hand she looked and winced at her torn bed sheets. Putting the kunai back under her pillow Satsuki got up and walked over to the window. She opened the window and let the cold breeze dry her bare skin. Despite knowing what laid beneath its surface, the moon calmed her during nights like these.

Then there was a silent shift in the air. She didn't need to turn around to know that he stood there.

"You'd get a cold like that Hime"

"The Kunoichi are in their rooms?" She asked ignoring his comment. She was not the least bit bothered by Naruto eyes on her bare body. They both went on a number of adventures together and she trusted him with her life. Trusting him with her body was not out of the question in her mind. That being said, Naruto knew he would wish he was dead if he did anything with her trust. He dared not even think about it.

"They are. And they promised to repay any damages they have caused" Naruto looked to Satsuki's bed "You had that dream again?" He didn't need an answer "Then I don't think you would want to hear what was on those documents Mizuki stole..."

The Uchiha massaged her brow "No. I might as well hear it now"

"Hai, Hime. But first..." Satsuki wordlessly raised her arms and allowed her butler of three years to cover her body with a robe "As you know, our spy was coming back from his mission about the ragtag group of S-rank missing nins when he was killed by Mizuki" Naruto threw a set of three scrolls onto Satsuki's bed "Well they aren't disorganised anymore. They are called the Akatsuki, red dawn. Their goals are unknown, and all we got on them are a few of their members. They include Sasori of the red sand, Hoshigaki Kisame the so-called Biju without a tail, and lastly the betrayer, Itachi Uchiha"

"...Is this room protected from the Byakugan?" Satsuki's voice was cold. Cold as the day Naruto first met the girl, the girl that despite her best efforts still lingered in the deep recess of her mind. At Naruto's hesitant nod, Satsuki almost dove for the scroll marked Akatsuki.

"Hime..."

"Don't" She growled, her Sharingan scanning the scroll over and over memorizing every single detail. In one swift motion, she threw the scroll across the room and pinned it to the wall with her kunai. Holding her head tight and shook uncontrollably as she fought her instincts to curl up into the fetal position. In an eternal instant, she was involuntarily forced to relive her memories. Suddenly she was drawn in by Naruto's arms into a gentle hold. The sound of his beating heart helped ease her own. It was one of these times in her moment of weakness that she let herself enjoy Naruto's warm body.

"It's ok Hime" Naruto ran his practiced fingers through the Uchiha's smooth raven hair "Remember what Sensei said. Don't let your past control your future"

"I...I hate it being this weak" She buried her face into his chest "I hate it!"

"You are not weak and you know it. The way you use fire has never been seen since Madara Uchiha. In fact, Katon says she might choose you to take her place among the five"

"...Did she really say that?"

"Have I ever lied to you?" He chuckled "But don't let her find out that I told you that. She'd gut me if she knew"

"...Thank you Naruto" She looked up at him "You always know what to say to cheer me up"

"My pleasure Hime"

Satsuki looked to the two scrolls left on the bed and raised her brow "What are those other two scrolls for?"

"Something I picked up that I thought that you would like to know" He shrugged "One of them was the only scroll I could not open, even after spilling the teme's blood on it. We will have to wait till Suiton to get back to unlock it. The other...well as it turns out that Goto tried to hire them out to do some kind of takeover in the wave country"

"Goto? I thought I told that snake to stay out of my territory" She rolled her eyes "And before you ask, the wave would be the perfect place to expand her empire into mine. We will have to take care of it before she could take over the country"

Naruto groaned "I still don't know why you don't just take his company over. A shipping and wood monopoly would work together well"

"One thing at a time Naruto. I needed to make sure I have complete control of my company before I can expand. You know, to make sure there is no corruption" She grinned at him "This is why I'm the boss and you're not"

"You're right as always Hime" He laughed "So you going to send me to deal with it or..."

Satsuki yawned "Not now Naruto, I'm tired. Let's just call it a night"

"...Are you going to let go of me?"

"Nope"

"Thought so. Good night Hime"

"Good night my slave"

"...Go fuck yourself, Hime"

"Right back at ya, Dope."

* * *

On this particular night, the land was dark. The moon, light the sun had retreated to lands unknown leaving the minuscule spots of white to light the sky. It was on this night while everyone was sleeping, Tenten wondered through the vast halls of the Uchiha compound. Though she could feel what seemed like a thousand eyes piercing the back of her head, she felt strongly at home among the relics of old.

For whatever reason, she was not stopped by one of those omnipotent Kunoichi when she left her room to explore the Uchiha's collection. At least not after what happened during dinner.

It still amazed her when she thought of the work the small Uchiha and her butler must have put into looking for all these artifacts. She remembered when she was young before she was orphaned how her mother and father used to bring home strange souvenirs from their travels. What they did, she was too young to remember. But she did remember the joy of them returning home after a long trip, and how much they loved her.

Her being an orphan was nothing to be sad about. There were a lot of orphans after the Kyuubi's attack thirteen years ago so she was nothing special. What made her different was the fact that she remembered the love of her family. She remembered what it was like to be tucked into bed and how she would complain to her parents about wearing dresses. It hurt her more when she went to the orphanage and realized that by then she was too old to be wanted by parents who wanted to adopt.

Shaking away the tears, she went to focus on the rusted steel around her. Because of the darkness of the outside world, the candles struggled to fight back and only partially lit up the rooms. The darkness combined with Tenten's wandering mind made her hit her toe on one of the tables.

Before she could even yelp in pain, the sound of shattering clay filled her with dread.

"Oh shit!" She gasped. She knelt down and tried to find the broken vase she broke but immediately felt something defiantly not molded clay. "What the hell is this? It feels like some sort of device" Lifting it up to the flame, she saw it was a small metal box with a big red button. Along the side was a string of words that confused her. "...What the hell is a plot device?"

Against her intuition, Tenten cautiously to pressed the button. Then...

"...AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" She trembled to her knees. She twirled her head around with panic trembling through her body. Such panic was so overwhelming her bladder started to fai- "I AM NOT PEEING MYSELF" She blinked "What the fuck?! I can read this story?!...I'm a fucking fanfiction character! My life is a lie! All my life is a figment of some dude's imagination! I don't exist!"

Minutes of mind-blowing revelations later, Tenten's Hyuga teammate ran into the room to find her laying on the ground slamming her head into a wall repeating the words 'unfair' and 'fuck you, author'. The room was also trashed. There was also that.

"Get a hold of yourself Tenten" Haruka went to her teammate's side and stopped her from banging her head "Are you ok Tenten? What happened?"

"Haruka~" Tenten cried, hugging her teammate tightly "We're not fucking real Haruka! We have no free will!" She let go of the Hyuga and started to gesture wildly at everything "See what I'm doing right now? I'm not doing this! I have no control! It's the author's fault I tell you!" She grabbed Haruka by the collar and shoved her face right in front of hers "Do you know what it feels like to be aware you're in some shitty fan fiction and have no control over your actions what so ever!"

"What are you talking about Tenten?" Haruka sweat dropped. Tenten was acting weird and that was saying something considering the team they were on.

"I'm not weird!" Tenten cried like a little girl who had her candy stolen "Hey! Stop making me cry, author! I have my dignity"

"No, you don't"

Tenten stared at Haruka "Wait, what?"

Haruka raised her eyebrow "What do you mean what?"

Tenten looked to the sky, looked to Haruka. Haruka, sky, Haruka, sky...Haruka, sky. "Did you just...talk through Haruka?"

"I'm fucking god to you"

"..."

"..."

"..."

"...Tenten, you're acting weird"

"...Fuck you, author. I fucking hate you"

This was the beginning of a wonderful friendship.

"Go fuck yourself you shit fuc-"

"Silence!" Curtains curled back and a fucking choir appeared out of nowhere and a holy light shone down from the heavens, blinding Tenten. Out of the sidelines, a long ass stupid ass cane came and drew Haruka away from Tenten's grasp. "Behold!" A booming voice rocked the world with pure, unadulterated epicness "It is I, who has traveled through awesome comic books, a shitty Wolverine movie, and the best apology movie EVER! Deadpool!"

Tenten bowed because the author was totally not scared of Deadpool fucking over his story. Hanging above her was one sexy ass mother fucker in red, hanging by a thin wire coming off a hole in the roof. Then there was an eerily silence, broken by the creaking of the wire. An audience member coughed in the background.

"Wait, you know that you're in a fan fiction?" Tenten had sparkles in her eyes because who doesn't love that spandex ass.

"Yes and I have been called through space and time, ignoring the almighty copyright because fuck the establishment, from my castle of chimichangas, your paying for that by the way," I shiver "to teach you about your power" Deadpool pulled out a scroll of his ass and started to list off what was on the list "Hey thanks for stating the obvious douche bag. It's not like I was going to do something else with this list" He looked down at the hole in his ass "...Fair enough"

"Ok let's see what we have here...blah blah blah. Boring shit, a guide to the galaxy, Cable's dick picks...Here we are!" The outburst made his balance stumble and his wire snapped. Rocking his fist to the sky he screamed "Fuck you, Steve! I told you not to cheap out on the wire!"

"But Mr. Deadpool! You spend it all on chemical-" Steve's head exploded via bullet to the head

"Fucking Steve" Deadpool mumbled "Now where were we... Ah, the scroll! Side effects of the temporal self-awareness do-hickey whats-it-called, or 'plot device' if you will, includes mind explosion, complete badassery, plot armour to the max, deus ex machina to the max, give the same amount of shit towards swear words as you do the continuity of whatever shit you're in, and a sudden increase in the words shit, balls, fuck, ass, mother fucker, whore, dick..."

* * *

Two hours later

* * *

"..Rainbow kiss, mud-blood, and herpes. Did you get that?"

"No. The author did a time skip because he was too lazy to Google a bunch of swear words"

Deadpool shrugged "Oh yeah, you also have to put up with the shit the author decides to make happen. Because you know, he's god"

"...Fuck me"

"You're a little too young for me...but hey, if your sixteen then I'm sixteen!" He laughed "Well, the author doesn't want to get this fanfiction taken down with a rape scene so he's kicking me out. I'm out bitches!" One rocket powered jetpack later, Tenten was left alone.

Dropping to her knees she cried tears of sorrow.

* * *

"Fuck you, author!"

"Tenten!" Haruka covered her teammate's mouth. The Hyuga laughed nervously "Eheheheh. What she really meant to say was we're very sorry for last night!"

This was not the first time Satsuki had a team of Kunoichi kneeling at her feet nor it was the first time seeing them begging for mercy. However, it was the first time she has seen team Gai begging. It was rather disturbing, as much as it was amusing, to see the emotional extremes of the team. Though it was weird how the bun-haired girl was acting. She was much more polite last night. For now, she was too tired to care about their apology and just wanted them to leave.

It might sound kind of mean spirited but she had spent the last three years shut inside an office doing paperwork constantly...If she wanted to be alone she had to be alone damn it!"

That was the reason they were just outside the entrance of the estate. Naruto all but dragged her out of bed to get her here so she was still half asleep. Much like every morning Satsuki dumbly sat still as Naruto bathed her, brushed her hair and picked her clothes for her all the while trying to sneak a few more seconds of sleep. She wasn't always this lazy in the mornings, but having a butler was too much temptation to no use.

Naruto would always scold her for her laziness but her hatred of early morning rises would always win at the end of the day.

"It's fine" Her butler assured the Kunoichi "Remember, Hime is in charge of the largest wood corporation in the world. Fixing the dining room would not be expensive"

"Yes yes, " Satsuki smiled as she normally would. She would have said that they would always be welcome here at her estate like other hosts but then she would be lying "I wish you a safe tri-"

"RING THE ALARM! BANDITS ARE COMMING!"

"Oh for fuck sakes"

"Get a hold of yourself!" Naruto grabbed the running laborer by the collar and slapped him silly "Speak English man!"

"But I thought we were supposed to be speaking Japanese!" The laborer cried

"Well too bad! Most people on this website read English!"

"Get!-" Slap

"A-" Slap

"Grip!" Crack!

"Ah, Naruto-kun" A maid whispered into his ear, "I think he's unconscious."

"...Oops" The blond laughed sheepishly, dropping the man like a sack of stones. In the background Tenten's eyes were twitching so hard, she looked like she was having a seizure.

"You're just taunting me now Author" Tenten mumbled

"Just great" Satsuki rolled her eyes, sending a brief glare at Naruto which he caught. With her eyes, she asked 'I thought you killed them all', to which he mutely replied 'Must be scouts'.

Haruka saw an opportunity to finally get on the Uchiha's good side "We offer our services to defend your wood yard Uchiha-sama"

"No need" The Uchiha snapped back. She turned to one of her maids "You're a sensor right? Which yard are they attacking?"

"Hmm," The maid closed her eyes for a few seconds "I sense a lot of signatures around the hardwood yard. The ones heading for the samurai of Tetsu no Kuni"

"Hmm, fireproof wood. How thoughtful of them...for a bunch of idiots who thought picking on one of the richest women in the world was a good idea" Satsuki tightened the sash of her Kimono and fixed her hair up a bit "I will deal with the bandits myself"

Naruto grabbed the shoulders of the guests and shook his head as his master shunshined away leaving wisps of ember and ash "Don't take it too personally Kunoichi-san. This is her land and those bandits need to answer to her...Plus hiring Kunoichi is expensive. She can be really stingy with money sometimes"

"Aren't you worried about Uchiha-sama?" Haruka shook his hand off her shoulder. Naruto could see the veins around the young Hyuga's eyes bulge "There are a hundred bandits. She'd need our help"

"Haruka" Gai interjected, still looking in the direction of the wood yard. Being high on the hill they could see the bandits coming out of the tree line and the dust trail Satsuki was kicking up behind her as she ran "Look around you. If Uchiha-sama needs help, wouldn't she take her maids along with her?"

"She wouldn't take one of the girls" Naruto confirmed the older woman's reasoning "Because of pride mostly. But at least this way she can get out of the office"

"Aren't you worried?" Haruka repeated

He shrugged "Not really. She can handle herself...Ah, she's there. Be mindful of your eyes, Hyuga-san. It's about to get hot"

It was unfortunate that at that time Haruka had her Byakugan on overlooking the situation. She only had a brief moment to brace herself when she saw Satsuki make a series of hand seals and muttered out a Jutsu she only barely made out in time.

 **Katon:** **Great fire annihilation**

The legendary fire Jutsu used by the rival of Hashirama Senju herself spewed from Satsuki's mouth like a torrent of liquid flame. It was not as huge as the one depicted in Madara's biography where whole armies fell before it but Satsuki's flame was enough to devour the bandit horde in one go. At the sign of Kunoichi bandits jumping around to surround her, the Uchiha spun on her heels as she danced through the wood yard, creating a vortex of red flame that melted the ground she treads. Even the water dragons summoned to fight the Uchiha fell under her awesome power.

As soon as it was over laborers came off the wood works to fight the fires and save the wood, all the while leaving the burning bodies to turn to ash. Only Haruka could see through the fires where the Uchiha stood and the raging flow of chakra that swelled her veins. It was her first time seeing the legendary deep red eyes of the Uchiha clan. It was exactly as the books say, the Sharingan struck heart-stopping fear into ally and foe alike.

It humbled Haruka, to see someone the same age as her be so powerful.

All at the same time team Gai turned to Naruto who laughed nervously

"What can I say. She is the granddaughter of Madara Uchiha after all"

* * *

Konohagakure was supposed to be the military base of the land of fire, and its Hokage, the general. The Hokage was supposed to be the strongest, wisest kunoichi in the world. To have the Hokage trapped in an office was madness to a lot of people in the beginning, hence, Konohagakure adopted a democratic government so that the Hokage has some breathing room to help the rest of the force. Unfortunately, it had the adverse effect as a flaw in the villages constitution made it so that the civilian half of the council had a say in everything economic...which happened to include the villages' main income, missions.

It was not to say the Hokage hated the idea of democracy. The idea was no doubt the future of the world. But no matter how she looked at it, now was not that time for such things.

Having fought in the last war only to be condemned to political maneuvering for the what looked like for the rest of the current Hokage's life caused only depression for her. Her depression wasn't helped by the news that the returning team Gai had with them. The council was particularly pushy with anything to do with the either of the surviving Uchiha. The Hokage had to nurse a headache when she remembered the day they all found out that the younger Uchiha's job.

Needless to say, all the Hokage wanted was to avoid a similar day like that from happening again.

The Hokage sighed a weary sigh before she swiveled around in the chair to face team Gai "So the mission was a failure then"

The green beast of Konoha nodded "Hai, Hokage-sama. It was all a case of miscommunication"

The Hokage had to admit, Gai did know when to be serious at times. Kami knows that if she acted the way she normally did today, there would be a bloodbath.

"It can't be helped. Luckily they already paid us for your troubles before you got here. Your cut has been sent to your bank accounts. You have been dismissed team Gai" Only two of the quirky genin bowed. The last one, the bun-haired one, had a glazed look on her face like she had smoked a whole field of weed. Regardless the genin all left without another word. The older woman though still stood there like any professional Kunoichi would, getting the curious attention of the Hokage "Gai? Why are you still here?"

"I am here to inform you of the information I have learned while staying with Uchiha-sama"

The Hokage raised her eyebrow "Ok then, shoot"

"Uchiha-sama is the granddaughter of Madara Uchiha" Talk about hitting the ground running

"What?!" The Hokage slammed her fists into her desk, shattering the old wood "We have her birth records! She can't be related to that Kunoichi!"

The old friend of Hashirama Senju was said to have despised the idea of having children. It was said that Madara's genes were the result of centuries of selective breeding within the Uchiha clan to make the perfect warrior. Whether it was true or not was not important, because at the end of the day Madara was the perfect killing machine. The legendary Uchiha had a fire affinity rivaling that of the Nidaime Hokage, sight sharper than any Hyuga and mind more cunning than the Naras.

Not only does her genes still exist in this world, but they are within the bodies of a missing-nin and a teenage billionaire.

 _'The civilian are going to have a field day if this gets out'_ The current Hokage mentally cried.

"Which why I brought this" Gai held up his palm where a single strand of hair lay "But I am convinced she is her granddaughter Hokage-sama. Her skill with fire Jutsu is too strong for her not to be"

"You should have told me sooner...you and your team is not to tell anyone of this, understand?" The Hokage took the stand immediately and sealed it into a scroll to prevent further contamination "This complicates things further. The council is already working day in, day out to build a relationship with her...now those insane bastards might try to do something more dangerous" She let her musing end and looked at Gai "Is there anything else Gai-san?"

Gai was about to shake her head before she hesitated "...There is one thing. There was this boy serving Uchiha-sama. He shared his family name with Kushina-sama"

"An Uzumaki" The Hokage perked up "Even though he is a boy, it is glad to know someone from our old ally survived. What is his name?"

"Naruto Uzumaki"

The Hokage choked on her spit "R-Really? That's...ah, that's a nice name"

"Are you okay Hokage-sama?"

"I'm alright. You are dismissed Gai-san. Enjoy your day off"

"...Hai"

As soon as Gai left, the Hokage slammed her head into the remains of the desk. Naruto Uzumaki was a name she didn't want to hear again. Not because she hated the boy, but she was ashamed. Naruto was an odd child from the beginning. He was one of the first babies born through the use of a new reproduction Jutsu that allowed two women to have babies. This Jutsu would mean that the chances of having a female baby would be a hundred percent. Out of all children born of this new Jutsu, only he was a boy. Not only that...he was the son of two of the strongest women of the recent generation.

Minato Namikaze and Kushina Uzumaki.

...Her baby.

Minato did not mean to abandon him. She truly did. But with how busy she and Kushina were they hardly ever saw him. They left the Sandaime to take care of him until he was five, and by then they never really saw the boy. Then when the Kyuubi attacked the village, when the Sandaime sacrificed her life to seal it, what love she held for the boy shriveled up when she was forced to play political chess with him.

It was only until he disappeared that she and Kushina truly realized what they had done. They realized that if Naruto was different if he was born a girl instead, they would have paid more attention. They would have raised him as they always envisioned, building him up to be the best damn Kunoichi to grace this side of the planet...But no. He was guilty of not being what they wanted him to be. His sentence, a life without love...

Oh, how pathetic it all sounded.

The Hokage and her wife, reduced to self-pity.

Minato stared into the bright blue sky. It was the only thing that reminded her of her boy. It was the same colors as his eyes, the first thing she saw when he was first given to her.

"Naruto...I wonder how my baby boy is doing"


	2. Chapter 2

**I just came to adjust a few things and I realize how bad this chapter is. I promise to come back sometime and make it better.**

* * *

"Satsuki, we should be getting back soon. Sensei will be worried" The blond boy winced and rubbed his head remembering the last time he made his sensei look for him.

The dark haired girl he was following threw a rock at him. "Shut up dope. I'm concentrating"

They were in a cave, yet again. Little Naruto had his hand full with a large bag of excavation tools and a fiery torch. His small muscles struggled to keep up the bag which had pick axe sticking out the top. In front of him was the little girl that dragged him down this dark cave. The dark haired girl was digging in the dirt under a strongly smooth wall. She had the face of annoyance, probably caused by the boy behind her who was shivering like a leaf in the wind.

"But Satsuki - eeek!" Naruto jumped at the sound of the echo of the howling wind outside "S-S-Satsuki! We have to get out of here! I heard in town that there were ghosts in these mountains"

"Ghosts don't exist dope. Now hold this" The girl huffed and threw her shovel at Naruto to hold. As the boy fumbled with the new load, Satsuki dug up as small, seemingly worthless rock. Satsuki grinned to herself as the rock glowed red when she pumped her chakra into it.

"That's pretty" Naruto awed, leaning over the shoulder of his companion. "Kinda reminds me of your eyes"

"Wha!" Satsuki blushed up a storm and scooted away from Naruto. When her hand came to rest on a rock the cave started to rumble like the stomach of a dragon.

Being on the ground, the little Uchiha couldn't move away in time as the solid wall cracked and started to fall on top of her. In that short time, Satsuki felt like she was going to die. She thought of all her regrets, her family and all the good times she had with them. Letting go of her anger at the last moment, she even remembered her beloved older sister and allowed herself to regret never telling her how much she loves her.

 _Onee-sama...why did you leave me_

Then there was a sharp crack followed by a gust of old air. Satsuki coughed from a sudden breath of dust and grime. Opening her eyes she saw Naruto standing over her, his arm extended and bleeding like mad. It looked broken in a number of places. There was a hole where the wall was supposed to be and through it, was a valley of deep green forests and a setting sun. The orange sun reflected of Naruto's blond hair, making Satsuki's heart skip a beat.

"Yatta!" Naruto suddenly pumped his hand up before he brought it back down to nurse the pain "I finally did it! Ne ne, did you see that Satsuki-chan?!"

Before she could say anything, the two children felt the wind pick up and chill. It always happened when she came. The one they both dreaded disobeying. At that moment, it just occurred to them they lost the tools Naruto was carrying. Her tools.

Their sensei was going to kill them.

"There you are! Stay where you are so I can kill you brats!"

* * *

 **The strange butler**

* * *

Deep within a cavern the blond butler sat deathly still. The cavern he was in was not far from his master's estate. It was deep within the same mountains the now dead bandits inhabited. He found the cavern around the same time they moved into the area when he was looking for a perfect escape route if they ever need one. The cavern was too far away to be an escape route, though, it was too far away from the estate itself so they couldn't keep watch over it effectively.

But it still had its uses. Like training.

Now, Naruto was no stranger to training. He trained to become a butler, he trained himself for sleep deprecation just in case Satsuki had one of those long nights, and he was taught how to go spelunking with nothing but a razor, some honey, and determination. But this was a whole different kind of training. A training that involved sitting on a board balanced on a stalagmite...for some reason.

To anyone of the three doujutsu, looking at Naruto in his near dead state would see a mind-boggling sight. Strange unknown chakra flowing not into the boy, but around him like a second skin. This was Senjutsu, the art of channeling the chakra of nature.

Normal Senjutsu involved taking in the chakra into the chakra circulatory system in the body. But being a boy, Naruto could not do that the normal way. Instead, the chakra moved around him, through him. As one would think the odd way of channeling the powerful chakra gave different results. Naruto didn't get stronger skin, didn't get devastating punches or a big Jutsu upgrade. The only real thing he got were the passive abilities like sensing other chakra sources and alignment with nature itself among other things.

"...Damn it" Naruto sighed, letting go of the chakra he had gathered "I'm so close...but I just can't..."

It was frustrating, knowing how to manipulate chakra like he could yet not being able to use Jutsu. When he first mastered the art of Senjutsu, he got straight to work trying to figure out how to cast simple Jutsus. So far no luck. Because he could sense chakra to a ridiculous degree he realized his problem. Not only could he not mold chakra inside his body like Kunoichi, but nature chakra in and of itself was intrinsically different from the chakra of the body.

He was like a child of want, denied only by the fragile glass walls of the candy shop.

Packing up his supplies he made his way back to the compound. One other ability Senjutsu allowed him was being able to go for days without food or water. It was more of a gift really. Because he did not take from nature, anything he needed, like sustenance was given to him by nature. As it turned out, nature was a very fair maiden.

So if he wanted to Naruto could go on for another week in that cave but today was the day Suiton scheduled to arrive.

Suiton was indeed a weird name for some people. Isn't it weird to name yourself 'water release'? But no, Suiton was a title granted to one who was one with the water. A least that's what was written on the business card.

There was a group of legendary A-rank kunoichi, whose allegiance was traditionally not of any of the five nations. Each member, masters of their chosen element, would forsake their names to take up their title. Suiton, Katon, Futon, Raiton and Doton. There was no name for the group, but they eventually became known in the bingo books simply a 'The Masters'. Individually, they were said to be able to take on famed Kunoichi such as Darui of Kumo, Kurotsuchi of Iwa, and the copy-cat Kakashi Hatake.

Though it is debatable whether or not all five together could handle Biju, Kages or sannins, the fact that it is even a debate was a testament to their skills.

The one Naruto was excited to meet, Suiton, was a phenomenal Fuinjutsu master. Not on the level of the Yondaime or Jiraiya of the sannin but still quite powerful. The last time they were together, they were working together on Fuinjutsu designed to take in nature chakra, mold it and cast a Jutsu. It was his best chance to finally be able to use Jutsu.

He was so excited that he forgot all about Suiton's...peculiar personality.

* * *

"Fuck me"

"No"

"Fuck me"

"No

"At least shove this in my-"

"Absolutely not!"

The little girl pouted.

Suiton was not the most normal thirteen-year-old girl. Yes, thirteen. From what Naruto knew, Suiton grew up in the mist bloodline purge and trained with the previous Suiton as a heir to the title. After the old Suiton died by the hands of the Mizukage the girl took up the title of water and boy did she live up to the name. She was way shorter than the sixteen-year-old, reaching only as high as his stomach. Her messy blond hair only reached to her shoulders and was covered by a strange looking hat she called, a 'mop' hat.

Of course, her most noticeable feature was not her young age, it was the words coming out of her mouth

"One day I will make you fall in love me Naruto-kun!" She squeaked

"I'm not a lolicon"

"That's mean. I am way too mature to be a loli"

"Tell that to the judge"

Naruto figured it was her time in the mist that made her turn out like this. No child would leave that land unscathed. But in his lifetime no mist child he has ever met, and he met a few, ever turned out like this little girl right next to him.

He met the girl a while back, four years by his count. He was meeting with the previous Suiton, an elderly lady, about the whole bloody mist situation. Satsuki wanted to know more about the situation so she would know who to back in the brewing civil war but that was a minor detail. Back then the little blond girl was hiding behind the old Suiton and was much, much shyer. That was literally his only contact with the girl. So imagine his surprise when about a year later, she showed up at on Satsuki's doorstep with news of the old Suiton's death all the while proclaiming her love for him.

How did manage to get himself in these types of situations?

Was it the whisker marks isn't it?

Currently, they were in the basement of the estate. Satsuki never used the basement so Naruto had turned it into a lab of his own. It had everything he would need for basically everything. A library dedicated to Fuinjutsu, a chemical storage for poison and antidote production, and even a whole section dedicated to anything chakra related. It was partly the reason why Satsuki was able to use the Jutsu of Madara Uchiha. Everything that made her skills was scientifically planned from the very beginning.

Naruto spun on his chair and looked to Suiton who was scribbling like a kid on a large sheet of paper on the floor. That was another thing about Suiton. She was absolutely adorable. She would be the cute little girl any family would want if her image was anything to go by. If only that was the only thing to her.

"Any progress on the seal, Suiton-chan?"

"I'd like to see you try and mimic jutsus with ink and a brush. This is harder than it looks" The girl moved to the side to show the outline of a human drawn on the paper. Inside the outline were a myriad of delicate lines, curls, and connection. Naruto was no stranger to Fuinjutsu, it came with being an Uzumaki, so he could understand some of the patterns. It was the number of connections between different strokes which boggled his mind. "I don't think it's going to work Naruto-kun. We're trying to create a whole chakra network here but it's not going to work without frying your body into a crisp"

Naruto hummed "Maybe we can engrave the seals into the body and connect what chakra network that's already there"

"Not going to work. Chakra networks grow through use. Seals don't, they degrade" She jabbed her brush into the direction of Naruto's stomach "Besides the Shiki Fūjin in your body would naturally destroy any other seal on your body. I'm kind of jealous actually...Say, when you die can I study your body?"

"No. Then maybe we can put the seals on something else. Paper? Metal?"

"Nope, everything not alive absorbs nature chakra. Pumping more into them would cause a feedback loop" Suiton paused. Then a proverbial light bulb appeared above her head. The face Suiton made at her revelation honestly made Naruto's heart melt at her adorableness "That's it! We need living metal!"

Naruto was taken aback "Living metal?...It makes sense I guess, living metal is said to strong because of their ability to channel nature chakra. But living metal is just a myth"

Suiton shook her head "It's not true. I know for a fact that living metal exists!"

Naruto backed up a bit "I'm almost afraid of asking"

Suiton's grin was almost cat-like "Do you know a sword by the name of Samehada?"

"..."

"..."

"...OH FUCK NO!" Naruto bolted up from his chair "I AM NOT FIGHTING KISAME FUCKING HOSHIGAKI!"

"Mou" She pouted. Naruto's heart shattered at Suiton's pout "Do you have any ideas, smart guy? You're the Uzumaki here"

"Only in name Suiton-chan. Only in name," He chuckled. Picking up a scroll from his desk, he held it up for Suiton to see "And for your information, this is what I came up with"

Suiton leaned in to see the small patterns on the scroll. There was silence for a while, only broken by a few hums and ahs from the little blond girl. "It's a storage scroll," The girl realized "But not a normal one. It's supposed to contain Jutsu. These types of scrolls are nothing new. But these new seals...It looks like you're throwing a blood identification seal, a release seal, and a storage seal together"

"Yip" He laughed, "I think what we were doing is too advanced right now. So took a step back and thought that I could make scrolls that can hold jutsus I can use without chakra. How's it looking?"

"Sloppy" She deadpanned "You can't just throw a bunch of seals together and expect it to work. You need to be gentle with these things Naruto"

"That bad huh?"

"Hai!" Suiton giggled at Naruto's downtrodden face "But it's a good idea Naruto. If we can get this to work then it could be a quick solution to your problem"

Naruto looked hopeful "Really?"

"I expect no less from an Uzumaki"

Naruto did not know how Suiton knew Fuinjutsu. She didn't want to tell Naruto, which he respected. But it did not stop him from thinking about it. She didn't look like any Uzumaki he has ever seen, though he was one to talk. But even if she was a Uzumaki, she did not have any of the special traits like that weird healing blood or chakra chains. It was still possible, though. It was also possible that she got her Fuinjutsu skills by visiting the destroyed Uzumaki hidden village. It was, after all, close to Kirigakure. Then there was Suiton's old master. The girl could have learned if from her.

He never knew the old Suiton, only that she didn't like to fight. Strange considering that there were rumors that the gentle old woman was the one who developed the Mist's barbaric graduation ceremony. Still, the unassuming old lady he met all those years ago seemed to kind to have been a part of Kirigakure's disastrous government. Maybe that was why she became a pacifist. Maybe that was why she was killed. Her past must have caught up with her. Still, the fact still stood that she earned her name of Suiton, but whether or not she was worthy of holding it for so long was another thing entirely.

"Hey Naruto, " The little girl said suddenly "Why do you stay with Satsuki? You could be so much more than her servant"

Naruto grinned "For the last time Suiton, no I will not be your sex slave"

"I'm serious Naruto!" She denied, blushing when she remembered one of their other conversations. "I mean, you don't have a seal on you or anything so you can go basically anywhere you want. Be anything you want" Suiton looked off into the distance like she was no longer talking to Naruto anymore "With that kind of power...You could build a world where no one will die because of Kunoichi. A world where people like me doesn't exist..."

"Suiton..."

"Shut up" She turned her back on him. Walking up to a jug of water on a bench she sliced it open with a flick of her finger. She gathered the water into her palm, making a perfect sphere of water. "I shouldn't be able to do this. I shouldn't know how to talk the way I do. I shouldn't have lost someone when I was a kid..." Suiton let the water dropped to the ground making a lonely splash. The girl looked to her wet hand, almost as if the water on her hand was something else "I should be playing with other kids right now. Going to school. Complaining about teachers and chasing cute boys...What does it say about the world when a kid like me exists?"

"A world that made mistakes, " Naruto said instantly. When Suiton looked into his eyes, she was surprised with the amount of sincerity and wisdom they held "You're right Suiton-chan. If I wanted to I can change the world. I have the power crush anything in my path...but it is not the way. We built machines and buildings so we won't have to change, we developed blades and Ninjutsu when others tried to change us. Suiton-chan, humans hate change. If I were to unify the world, people will hate me. Hate the world. Their hate will boil over and whatever peace I create will be crushed. The peace I can create will only make things worse in the end"

"But it's still peace!" She shouted. She waved her palm sending water bullets towards Naruto. They missed by a hair's breadth. "I don't want to fight anymore! I want to complain about homework! I want to worry about my weight! I want to live!"

"Then why did you take up your name?"

Suiton froze and glared daggers at the Blond "You...You know why. My master gave it to me"

"That's right" Naruto stood up and approached the shorter girl "You could have left that name behind. You could have gone somewhere else to live your life. But you didn't, because being a Kunoichi is all you know. If you truly want what you say then you would have done it already" Kneeling down he wrapped her smaller body into a tight hug. He whispered into her ear "But you're scared...I won't say that you owe the world a favor for the power it gave you. I won't judge you if you left your name to someone else. You control your own life. But I want you to know, for what it's worth...I'm glad I've had chance to get to know you, Dattebayo"

"...And you wonder why I've fallen for you" They laughed together. Pushing Naruto away, Suiton shyly fixed up her hair and regain her natural grin "Don't worry. I'm not going to stop being a Kunoichi. Not with all the trouble you get yourself into. You can rely on me Naruto-kun"

"I'm counting on you Suiton-chan" In a rare sign of affection for the girl he ruffled her hair, messing it up once again "How about I make something for us to eat Suiton-chan?"

"Yes, please! I want rice cakes!"

* * *

It was about noon when Satsuki woke up in her lush bed. She had a completely normal but awful habit of wanting to sleep in for an absurd amount of time to the point where some thought she was nocturnal. Naruto called her lazy, she called it beauty sleep.

Speaking of the blond, he had been gone for a week now. Gone to be one with nature he said. Nonsense. She knew of his Senjutsu. She was there when he learned it. Ever since then Naruto had been obsessed with the thought of being able to use jutsus. He even enlisted the help of the resident loli to help him in his quest. It was unhealthy in her opinion but she didn't want to hurt her friend by shattering his dreams.

Dressing in a black and blue kimono she left her room, uncaring about her messy hair. When she left she saw a very subtle change on the doorknob of the room beside hers. Naruto's room.

 _'So he was here then?'_ She thought _'Good, I need a bath. I'll have him prepare one for me...but first'_

Though Satsuki had Kunoichi maids that tended to her every will, she rarely ever used them. She usually left that job for Naruto. No, she just had them to do more dangerous tasks. Like sending messages, spying and protecting her estate of course. She didn't know how the maids felt about this arrangement but she didn't care enough to find out. All she needed of them was to be tough and to be loyal, which they were.

Her stomach growled as she reached the kitchen. She had her thoughts on that tomato salad Naruto had prepared for that Kunoichi team a while ago. He had made a shit ton of it before he left and chilled it for her.

She really loved that blond sometimes.

"Good work, by the way, Suiton-chan"

"Thank you Naruto-kun"

Satsuki heard voices coming from the other side of the door leading to the kitchen.

 _'So Suiton is here too huh?'_ She thought

"Hey, Naruto? What do boys like?" Suiton asked. Even from behind the door, Satsuki could literally hear Naruto's sly grin.

"Well well, Suiton-chan~" Her blond butler teased "Trying a different tactic, are we Suiton-chan~?"

"It's not like that baka!" Satsuki rolled her eyes when she imagined the super moe blush Suiton must be having. "I was just wondering... I'm going to be at that age soon. And I've heard that you've been in a thousand battles of love!"

"Wha-! Where did you hear that from!"

"The maids"

Satsuki sniffled a giggle. Naruto, no matter how she said otherwise, was very handsome and devilishly so. What she found hilarious was that even though he was surrounded by super fit badass maids, he had zero relationship experience. The closest relationship he had to a member of the fairer sex was his brother-sister one with her.

A fact that frustrated her to no end.

 _'Oh Naruto'_ Satsuki truly felt the pain Naruto was feeling at this moment _'He's not stupid enough to-'_

"L-Leave any matter of love to me!" Naruto assured, "I have never been rejected once!"

 _'The hell?'_ Satsuki paused at Naruto's outburst. _'...Naruto! You complete and utter moron!'_

Naruto had never been rejected before, mostly because he doesn't have the courage to even ask anyone out. So technically it was true.

"Really?" Suiton gasped. "Wow, your amazing Naruto-kun~"

 _'She bought it'_ Satsuki was floored. Who would have thought that a love-struck loli didn't know the basics of spotting a lie? _'I should stop this...but this is my chance to find out who Naruto's views on love are...'_

"So what do you want to ask about?"

"What does it mean when a boy gives you chocolate balls on valentine's day? Are they obligatory or do they mean something?" There was a sound of Naruto spitting water out of his mouth. It probably didn't hit Suiton, with her being a genius all things water. "Ew. What's the big deal Naruto?"

"W-Wait! You got chocolates?! From who?!"

"You"

"...Oh. Those were obligatory chocolates, honest"

"...Damn it" Cue pout.

Satsuki's eyes twitched when she remembered last valentine's day. Naruto also got her chocolate balls that day. In fact, he spent the whole day before brewing barrels of the stuff for all the maids in the compound. All one hundred and twenty-two of them. Poor Naruto didn't know the chaos he caused over those chocolates. That day was now known as 'the happening', where dozens of heart throbbing maids cried out in joy only to suddenly stop when they realized what happened.

Naruto thought the wailing was ghosts of valentines past.

"I-Is there anything else?"

"Well...What does it mean when couples scream 'Oh my god!' and 'Sweet Kami! Is praying something couples do regularly?" Satsuki peaked through the door to see Naruto's face in complete horror. She didn't blame him. "What?"

"...Seriously? You ask me to fuck you and shove that baton up your butt this morning and you don't know that they're having sex?" It took everything in her to not snap the door Satsuki was leaning on off its hinges. "Where did you hear this anyway?"

"I was low on money and I slept in a cheap inn" The nonchalant way she said it was worrying. "Also, why do teenage boys lock themselves in their rooms at random times with just a book and a-"

"They're masturbating. Next"

"You do realize that I'm talking about you, right?"

"I said next!"

"Why do guys like boobs?"

"No one knows. Next"

"Do they like 'em big or small?"

"Depends on the person"

"I heard you guys like butts as well"

"That's true. But it depends on the person . . . And before you ask, no, I have no idea why they like butts"

"What do you like?"

"...I don't feel comfortable answering that question in front of you"

"Oh come on~" Suiton cooed "I won't tell~"

Now, this was something that interested Satsuki. Naruto was a teenage boy in the end so he had to be attracted to something. Literally, everyone in the Uchiha compound wanted a piece of the blond so they all wanted to know what got his blood pumping. Whatever made his private regions tingle they got it covered. All types of fetishes found a home in the compound and all were constantly competing for the blond.

Satsuki totally wasn't one of those vying for him.

"Well... I guess I like moderation. Not too big not too small. I like tough women, but also someone who can be gentle at times. I like it when girls are fiery, not super tsun tsun but someone who's not afraid to pick a fight, even with me. Oh! And someone smart. Not book smart but smart like a fox. Someone cunning" There was a pause. Then a whisper Satsuki could barely pick up from where she was. "...I also like being of use to them. I don't like being useless because I have no chakra"

Satsuki's heart skipped a beat. It was almost like the last sentence was aimed at her.

Too bad Suiton picked up on it also.

"...Are you sure you aren't dating Satsuki?" Choking. A lot of choking. So much that that Satsuki was almost worried. Almost. She was too busy living out a fantasy of her and Naruto together.

"W-What?! No!" He stuttered.

 _'That's right!'_ Satsuki thought defiantly _'Like I would ever fall for him!'_

"Really?" The blond loli deadpanned "It sure looks like it from the outside. You two knew each other for years. There has to be some sort of thing going on between you two"

"Actually, it's quite the opposite...I think she might hate me now"

Cue flashback to the moment when Satsuki found a gigantic hole in the roof above one of their collections of artifacts. The wrath that was to follow was part of the reason why he went on a training trip.

Behind the door, Satsuki looked horrified completely oblivious of the shit storm she unleashed a few days ago _'What did I do!'_

"What do you think about Satsuki?"

"What do I think about her? To be honest she's rich and very smart but she has some irritating traits..." Satsuki pressed her ear to the door. Something told her she was not going to like what she was going to hear. "She's way too manipulative for her own good, she becomes a pyromaniac when she's angry and her chest..." With each passing reason, the rage in Satsuki burned brighter. The only reason she didn't kick the door down and throw flames around was because she would only be proving him right. She'll defiantly burn him later, though.

"Also, she is- THE BEST THING TO HAVE EVER HAPPEN TO ME!"

 _'Wha-? Really?'_

"She's cute! She's beautiful!" He borderline screamed "She smells like heaven and has an aura of grace around her at all time! And she's very wise! She is truly the perfect girl"

 _'...Baka. If you say that...'_ The amount of moe surrounding her blush was over 9000. Because, you know, there always has to be a DBZ reference somewhere.

 _'That was close! She was actually there!'_ Naruto mentally cheered. From where he was sitting, he saw a tuft of black hair poking through the gap between the door. _'Rolled a natural 20 save roll! Oh, yea! Still,_ _how long has she been there? I should wrap this up before this gets out of hand'_

"Anyway Suiton-chan. I have to get going. I have some experimenting to do" As fast as humanly possible Naruto was out of there.

A maid just happened to pass by the kitchen and saw her master just standing there with an overwhelming moe aura. No, it was not possible. Satsuki hated moe...Approaching the happy girl she asked "Are you ok my lady? Did something happen?"

"...Haruna. Fetch me my best clothes and makeup. I want to pretty myself up tonight..."

* * *

Naruto was never picky when it came to girls. Mainly because all the women he hangs out with happened to be Kunoichi maids. And everyone knows that all kunoichi, or at least most of them, just happened to be drop dead gorgeous. Did he mention that they were Kunoichi maids? Maids. If he hadn't built up a tolerance for the amount of female goodness, because no matter what they called themselves they were still killers, he would be six feet under by sundown.

But some days, when it all became too much for his teenage body he retreated back into the woods. He built a small hut for himself out of wood and stone. It wasn't much. It was only ever used for sleeping...among other things.

But today he wasn't here because he couldn't control his body.

After the whole incident in with Mizuki, Naruto was both fascinated and furious with that little bottle'o'Senjutsu that turned the missing-nin into a giant tiger. He stored the bottle in his little safe house just in case his examinations go wrong. So far, it didn't react to anything he did to it. So now it's time for phase two of testing.

Naruto was no chemist. He didn't have the patience to be one. But he knew enough about Senjutsu to know how to protect himself from it.

With what was left in the bottle all he was left to go on was that the liquid unnaturally channeled nature chakra. By unnaturally he meant that if felt corruptive and tainted. He felt what it did to Mizuki. It borrowed into her very brain. It controlled her. But he was not Mizuki. With what he saw when Mizuki took the serum and his skill with Senjutsu, Naruto was confident that if he took what was left with the serum, he could control it.

This was his chance. A chance to gain more power. The thought of it excited him.

"Here goes nothing" Naruto took the bottle into his hand. His hands were shaking. No matter how he spun it, he was scared on some level. Not scared of the serum, but scared of what he might become when he took it. He could already feel it in his body.

"Three"

Every time he entered sage mode, he could feel that glass ceiling holding back his power about to break.

"Two"

And when it did, whatever he was about to see on the other side would change him.

"...One"

The moment the tainted liquid touched his lips he had to fight back that leaching power it had over him. He could feel Orochimaru's influence creep up to his brain and around his nonexistent chakra coils. Gathering his strength, he pushed his nature chakra through his body. The chakra flowed through him like a dam, washing away the taint in his body.

Then he felt it, a surge of energy he never knew was possible. It mixed with his own nature chakra making his body tingle in response. It felt like having a warm bath on the inside of his body. Crack. The pain was like a firecracker went off in the inside of his eyes. Naruto didn't feel his own hand grabbing his head and almost tearing out his hair. He was in extreme pain on a level he had never felt before. Because the pain he felt was impossible for the normal world to feel.

In a timeless instant, Naruto was ripped away from his world and what he saw burned his entire soul. He was swimming in a paradoxical world filled with the possibilities of impossible geometry, transcended maths and the end of infinity itself. Intangible things such as emotions and will were given physical form in this world. The fabric of creation itself revealed itself to Naruto, but his young mortal mind could not compute the information and what he was given instead was a pain.

The further he tried to see through the veil of space and time, the more pain he felt. So he focused. He did not know what he was focusing on but it was enough as an image started to form in his formless brain.

There was a scream. A girl's scream. He felt a ping of sadness in his heart like he knew the girl.

A crackle. Not like a fire, but chirping birds.

Cold. Wet. Tears.

Then another scream. His scream. Then red.

He let go of the image as the pain started to chew at his very soul. He could feel himself losing his grip on his mind. Only barely, he was able to remember his name over the tidal wave of information clamoring for room in his mind. Finding that thin strand of will still connected to his old world, he followed it back into his reality.

"What the hell!" Naruto screamed. The familiar feel of coarse dirt and stale air was more comforting than he realized. He looked at the palm of his hand, clenching it twice. The blood boy sighed heavily "Just what the hell was that?" He clutched the side of his head in pain "I...I don't remember...What the..."

When he tried to remember what he saw, all that came to his mind was vague images. On a deeper level, Naruto knew he didn't forget what he saw. He didn't forget many things. No, it was more like his imagination could not comprehend it. Like trying to turn a sphere inside out. It was just impossible.

Looking to the sky, Naruto saw that the sun had long left it bare with a sheet of black and spots of white. It was just past three in the afternoon. He must have been in the hut for a few hours. It was good. If he was ever late for Satsuki's calling then his ass would be on the line.

* * *

Naruto was used to girls. It was hard it first, but he was just starting to understand the complex mind of the female form. He had to if he were to survive as the head servant in a mansion full of badass chakra powered killers. If they get mad at you for a seemingly random reason, then you're missing the context for their anger. When girls are mad at you duck in cover, find some chocolate and beg for mercy. That was always his go-to thing. Chocolate.

Even when girls are on a diet, they really love chocolate.

Satsuki, on the other hand, was not like most girls.

Beside him, Suiton was busy whistling merrily and twirling her hair. The look she gave him was one of pity.

"Seriously Hime, I'm sorry I was missing for another week. But I swear, I was sucked into the fourth dimension where I saw the future and was forced to fight for my life" Naruto said sheepishly. The more he said it, the more it seemed like a lie.

"Oh really?" Satsuki glared daggers at him "If you saw the future, what am I going to do in ten seconds?"

"...Forgive me?"

Beside him, Suiton whispered "You're not making it easy for me to defend you Naruto-kun"

The petite Uchiha's eyes twitched madly.

There was an ugly pause. The facade all three were wearing at that moment was dropped for an eternal moment. The happiness in Naruto's eyes wavered as Satsuki's continued to drill into his mind. Outside of this conflict of eyes, Suiton watched with a sour look that grew proportionally to the dying light in Naruto's eyes. As the observer to this exchange, when Satsuki finally relented and Naruto took a sigh on relief, Suiton was left glaring at Satsuki while she let her hand to Naruto for comfort.

This is where I would write something along the lines of 'Then as quick as the moment came, it was gone and things returned back to normal'. But I can't because that would be lying.

And because _this_ is normal.

Satsuki took out two scrolls from under her desk and laid them in front of Naruto and Suiton. Naruto recognized the scrolls as the ones he got from Mizuki.

"I need your expertise. Both of you" Satsuki unfurled two maps, one of the wave country and one of the Land of rain. The map of the rain was old and warn, not something that looked reliable at all.

"I have a problem. I got word from some traders from Konoha that wanted to trade with the wave. They told me that bandits controlled every action of the people of the wave. Until recently, they held a tight grip on the country until recently" She pointed to a number of arrows drawn on the map of the wave "Now the bandits around the area had started to move in a more defensive manner. Also, there are rumors that a group of Konoha Kunoichi went into the wave about three days ago"

"Konoha has a track record of completing their missions quickly. Quality over quantity they say" Suiton recited "Either the Kunoichi are a bunch of Genin, or Goto got herself Kunoichi of her own"

"Or both" Naruto laughed "...Come on. Laugh. That was a good one"

"No, it wasn't" Satsuki pointed to the map of the land of rain "The wave problem is not what I need your help with. What I do need from you is your opinion. You see, the land of rain is one of the last few places in the world that is at war. A lot of people avoid the place because of how vicious the Kunoichi there are. That makes it the best place to find some information on Orochimaru. And I want one of you to infiltrate the place while the other takes the wave"

Suiton raised an eyebrow "The snake Sannin? What happened while I was away to make you want to meddle with that creep?"

"It's nothing major" Naruto shrugged "The bandits along the hill were headed by a missing-nin who had a connection to the Sannin. You're worried she might be spying on you aren't you Hime?"

"I know she's spying on us and that is why I am worried. Having Orochimaru watching me is probably the worst thing that can happen right now" Satsuki frowned. Grabbing two kunais from under her desk and jabbed each one into the maps "Anyway, I need one of you to take one of the jobs. I need both of them done as soon as possible. With Goto making a move and Orochimaru being Orochimaru, I need them done as soon as possible. Problem is, both of you are qualified to take the missions. And one of them involves going into unknown territory"

"You're leaving it for us to decide? How thoughtful Hime"

"Oh is washboard falling in love with us?"

"Shut up you two!"

"Kyaa~!" Suiton jumped into Naruto's arms "She's being scawy Nawuto~"

"I'll protect you Suiton-chan!"

"...I hate all of you"

"This is simple Hime" Naruto chuckled. He grabbed both of the kunais and gave the one from the map of the land of rain to Suiton "I'll do the one in the wave. Suiton will take the Rain"

"Is the choice that simple?"

"Hello, it's the land of bloody rain" Suiton teased "With all that water, I can use my jutsus to the fullest"

"Really?" Satsuki frowned "I thought Naruto was best suited for the rain. No foreign Kunoichi has ever returned from the rain"

"But no one knows who I am," Suiton said "I only just got my name and I have no village affiliation. Plus, if Orochimaru is spying on you, she would already know about Naruto-kun. I've only been here twice. I'm perfect for this mission"

"I'm not convinced...but I trust your judgment" She conceded. It was strange, to any outside, that a Uchiha admits defeat to a little girl.

But Suiton was, without a doubt, stronger than Satsuki. It was not Suiton's natural elemental advantage that made her stronger. It all stemmed from her remarkable combat intellect, honed through years of civil war and the power of her namesake. What truly made her and the other masters powerful was the accumulated knowledge of warfare they held. Each generation is pushed to improve, temper the knowledge gathered by their predecessor all for the sake of perfection of the arts.

Eventually, each master developed their own school of thought depending on their element. Suiton, being the element of water, did not use overwhelming force like earth or fire. Water was an unforgiving element in a very different way. Droughts, tsunamis, heavy rainfall. Deadly events of nature. Armies and nations fall like wheat to the scythe because of the will of water. Through this, the wielders of the name Suiton developed three tenants that set the foundation of their mindset.

One, squash obstacles as soon as they appear with as little effort possible. Water does not overpower its enemy nor does it shy away. Where water flows, it simply goes.

Two, aim at the route of the obstacle. Even great bonfires can be tamed with gentlest of rains.

Three, water is not weak. When the winds blow hard, tsunamis rage in return.

Evidently, these tenants made little Suiton the perfect saboteur and direct counter to the rage of fire.

"Naruto, listen closely" Satsuki turned her butler, who stood up straight as a soldier at the sound of his name. She intertwined her fingers and gave him a look at demanded obedience.

"Yes, Hime?"

"I want you to crush Goto" She snarled. Not at him, but at the name of Goto herself "I want you to let Goto do whatever she wants. I want you to give her hope. Then, when everything seems like it is going all to her plan, I want you to rip it away from her. Rip away her victory, her company. The wench would sell her family for money so we shall take all of her filthy money. And I want you to do it in front of her dying body. I want her to feel absolute despair"

"Is there a specific way you want her to die?" Naruto gained a dark look, that was frighteningly distant from his normal personality.

"...That I leave up to you"

* * *

So...what did you get up to when you were missing"

"I wasn't lying Suiton!" Naruto sighed, checking the straps of his saddle one last time "But something tells me you won't believe me no matter what I say"

As Naruto was packing his horse, Suiton was teasingly balancing along the fence of the resident stable. He was, at times, jealous of how little effort Kunoichi needed to get around the place. While he was packing his horse to the brim with a week's worth of food, weapons, and a shit ton of money, a kunoichi can carry the same amount and then some. At least he could move along normal merchant routes without being suspicious. No one would expect a man to be a badass spy for a multi-billion dollar organization.

"Heading out now?" Suiton chirped before she jumped from the fence to the saddle of the horse.

Naruto nodded "Yea. It's been about three days since Satsuki's report of the wave came in. I need to get there as fast as possible"

"Hmm, then I guess I should give you this" Suiton threw something at Naruto who caught it without trouble "I finished it a while you were missing. I wanted you to be there when I made it"

Naruto looked at his hand and saw that it was a scroll. When he unfurled it, his eyes widened " **Suiton: Water wall?** Did you finish the scrolls? You're a genius Suiton-chan!"

"Hai, Naruto-kun" She blushed at his praise "They work with the oil of your skin so you don't need to cut yourself. They're a one-time use only and I only made two so far so make them count. One is **Suiton: Water wall** , the other is **Katon: Great fireball**. You can thank Satsuki for the last one"

"This is great!" Naruto grabbed Suiton in a hug to which the girl snuggled into his chest "Thanks a lot, Suiton-chan! This will come in handy for the mission"

"Your welcome, Naruto-kun" She smiled "Oh and by the way, you need to shout out the technique so it can work"

"...That's just stupid. Why do I need to say the name of the Jutsu?"

"Because that's how it goes Naruto-kun. Don't question it" Suiton giggled "Have a safe trip"

"You too, Suiton-chan"

He really didn't want to let go of the girl. It was no joke when he said that no Kunoichi had ever returned from the land of rain. His natural big brother instincts wanted to protect Suiton when his mind said that there was no way in hell she'd need his help. He just couldn't bear losing another one of his precious people. Not Suiton. Not anyone.

Then he did something his sensei told him to never do. He ignored his better judgment.

"Suiton" Out of his pockets, Naruto pulled out a card. The card was a stylized ace of hearts with a picture of a ruby "This is a calling card. There is a town located at the point where the borders of the land of wind, rain, and fire meet. Place it on the monument dedicated to the third Kunoichi war. Wait for a day and you will meet a spy of Jariaya the toad Sannin. Jiraiya is known for her relentless persecute of Orochimaru. Tell her spy I sent you and he can give you a list of all known bases of Orochimaru. That way you don't have to go into the rain"

She took the card reluctantly "Thank but are you sure? Satsuki might not like this. I heard that you two have some history with the toad Sannin"

"I'm sure" Naruto frowned "I don't want you to get hurt for Satsuki's sake. Satsuki has a tendency of treating all of us as statistics. She's fine with taking calculated risks. But she forgets sometimes that she's dealing with human beings"

"That's what made his company successful isn't it?"

"...Just don't die Suiton. You might not think so, but people will mourn you" Naruto closed his eyes when certain memories came to his mind. There were many a people in his life who at one point thought they had nothing to live for. Through experience, he knew that it was far from the truth.

"I'm not going to die, Baka" She laid a soft kiss on Naruto's forehead "I promised that I will not die until I get you to confess to me remember Naruto-kun" She patted his cheek "You should go now Naruto-kun. And try not to worry about me"

She **shunshined** before Naruto could reply.

It took him two days to reach the wave at maximum speed. The horse had died as soon as he got to the coastal town that normally ferried goods to and fro from the wave. The people there were well off considering the condition of their number one customer. It was not a habit for him to dabble in anything that would jeopardize his mission, but a few extra coin for the innkeeper was enough to send a small ripple of hope through the portside community. On the plus side, they let him keep his stuff in a room while he scouted out the wave. They didn't know his mission of course.

From what he heard from the people of the port was that Goto set up a large blockade and taxed the living hell out of any ship found in the water. 'A crude business strategy' was something he imagined Satsuki would say. From his memory, Goto enjoyed seeking new ways to swindle people out of their money. Many lives were ruined because of her toxic business practices, her blood sucking nature. She was basically a U.S insurance company CEO cranked up to level a hundred.

Hah! Politics...

After a bit more frivolous spending to loosen the mind of a resident fisherman, Naruto managed to get half way to the wave without much hassle before he was forced to swim to shore. Once there, and once his clothes were dry, he moved through the town. What he saw was nothing knew. Naruto had seen a war-ravaged land back when he visited the hidden mist. He once saw dead bodies littering the streets there. Whereas those bodies were mutilated beyond recognition, here in the wave everyone was still in the land of the living. Bearly so. They all tried to hide it, but he could see their ribs under their shirts. The villagers, he saw, were looking at him with an emotion he could not pin down.

For the whole afternoon, Naruto listened. He heard a whisper here and there, mostly about how hard their lives were. He ignored those. Eventually, Naruto got hold of a little rumor that might be of use. If the rumor were to be believed then the mayor had sold out the wave to Goto by giving disbanding the militia days before the forced takeover.

 _'Interesting'_ Naruto thought _'Satsuki wouldn't mind me deviating from her plan'_

But first, he needed to see how accurate Satsuki's report was. The movements of the bandits were easy to detect. He already knew all about their movement through the tracks he found throughout the landscape. But the Kunoichi were another thing. He didn't know their strength or their numbers, so he went for the covert approach. One straw hat and clothes swap later, he looked like a farmer doing all he could to grow anything on the dead land.

From a distance, what he saw disappointed him. It was a Genin squad. They looked sixteen, fresh out of the academy. He heard that after the third war, the Hokage changed the graduating age of Genin to sixteen. The first step to the abolition of child soldiers. The sensei of the team was nowhere to be seen, something that worried him a bit. There were only two of them and both looked unremarkable. They all carried standard equipment, no body armor of any kind, and by the looks of things they were only beginning the first steps of chakra control exercises.

One of them must have died, Naruto had realized. So early on too. From the two that were left, they looked as though they never took a step out of the village until now.

The only one that truly stood out in Naruto's opinion was the pink haired girl. She had abysmal stamina so it was expected she'd have good control. No. Her control was beyond that. It was freakishly good.

It was getting dark by that point. Too exhausted to care, Naruto laid down where he was in the forest. Nature chakra came to him without his calling and kept him warm.

* * *

Haku walked through the fields of herbs and flowers humming a tune. She looked simple enough, as she wore a worn out kimono that looked as though it was dragged through the dirt and cleaned with sewage water. Actually, her clothes looked worse off than the starving villagers. Then there was the smell. She smelled dreadful. A mixture of her molding clothes and grass. It was probably a dreadful attempt of trying to mask that awful smell.

It was during Haku's little walk through the woods, did she spot a peculiar sight. Other than herself that is. It was a blond teenager in typical rice farmers clothes. It was strange because his body wasn't as malnourished as the people of the wave. Haku narrowed her eyes. She had a memory of a machine and she swore she remembered seeing the blond in much nicer clothes at the port town at the mainland. That means me must be...

Creeping up to the sleeping blond, Haku's hand edged closer to his neck. In another universe, Naruto would wake up, see a pretty girl and say something sly to make her blush.

This is not that universe.

"Why hello pretty lady-ACK!"

"DIE FOWL FEIND!" Haku cried, squeezing as hard as she could. Thankfully Naruto managed to kick the much smaller girl away from him but the girl quickly got back up and started stalk closer to him with eyes screaming bloody murder.

"W-Wait!" Naruto screamed in fear "Whatever I did, I'm sorry!"

"Sorry?!" Haku shrieked, opening her palm to show a what she was holding "How do you apologize for this!"

"...You tried to kill me over my pocket watch?"

"It's not only that! You're a butler!"

Naruto was taken back. She figured out that he was a butler but didn't consider him being a spy? Just who was this girl. "..Right. I'm a butler, so what? You're going to kill me over that?"

"Yes," She said matter of factly. "It is you who are the root of all evil in this world. I had to live each and every day not knowing if I was going to eat and I've learned that rich people hogs all the money and keeps everyone miserable. The only reason why I'm alive today is to prove to the world how anyone can succeed even if they're dirt poor. I learned every trick in the book to survive on my own. Living a life of luxuries, earning a hundred times more money than people like me. You make me sick"

"...Seriously?" Naruto's hands shot up as soon as the girl drew out a sword of ice "Wait wait wait! I believe you! It's unfair that a few people can have everything and let the rest starve. I'm on your side. I'm not rich! I just live with someone who's rich!"

"Ehhh?" She paused "How much do you earn? If you truly believe in what you say then answer rightly. And don't lie, I can tell when your lying"

"Oh that's easy. I earn..." Naruto paused. A very long silence made Haku worried. Until... "AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Naruto gripped his hair and screamed to the heavens "God damn it Satsuki! You don't pay me at all! I mean what the hell! I work for you for three years for FREE! It's slave labour I say! How many bowls of ramen could I have bought! How many I say" He fell to his knees "KHAAAAAAAAAAAAN"

"Welcome brother, to the beginnings of the **p** oor **o** pportunists **o** n a **r** oll movement. Or POOR for short" Haku knelt down beside Naruto and hugged him tightly. She was crying to "I didn't know you had it so rough. 3 years a slave. At least I earn 10 yen a week. There there"

"Ramen" He sobbed

"I got an idea," Haku said "How about you come over to my boss? He might give you a job!"

"Job? What job?"

Haku smiled a bright smile "How would you like to be an employee of the Goto shipping company?"


	3. Chapter 3

It became apparent early on that Naruto was a remarkable learner.

At first, he seemed dimwitted as he had trouble keeping up with the rest of the kids his age. Though he was a boy, Naruto was still royalty, so he had the best tutors and the greatest books at his disposal. In the end, it was all for naught. It was by chance Naruto discovered his hidden talent. It was a day that made his parents both proud and worried.

It was on one particular day, Naruto was tailing a certain scarred Kunoichi for the fun of it. He was always curious about his family's profession and that day he felt like learning more. Without knowing it, through the simple act of observing and mimicking Naruto was not only able to follow a Kunoichi without being caught, he was able to sneak into the same building as the Kunoichi. Such a thing was impossible for anyone other than a Uchiha, but Naruto did it through sheer instinct.

But that was not the thing that worried his parents.

The Kunoichi he was following happened to be Morino Ibiki, the second most sadistic Kunoichi to have ever existed in Konoha. The spot of first place was taken by Orochimaru, something that Ibiki lamented. And the building Naruto was smart enough to sneak into held the torture chambers of Konoha, ironically nicknamed 'wonderland'.

By the time anybody realized he was in wonderland Naruto had already dined with the mad hatter, and painted red with the queen of hearts.

The Kunoichis he broke that day made everyone wonder if this newest contender could snatch Orochimaru's title right out from underneath her.

Rumour has it when the royal boy stood in front of his mother, with blood that was not his own rolling down his gentle face, all he said was:

"Did I do good Kaa-san?"

* * *

 **All smiles hide bloody blades**

* * *

"Hey, what's that?" Haku ran up to what looked like a newspaper submerged in a puddle. Picking up the damp paper and opening it, Haku squealed. "Yatta! It has coupons for cauliflower! 10% off! We're going to eat good tonight Naruto-kun!"

Naruto laughed nervously "Right..."

Haku was one of the oddest girls he had ever met. And he was someone who was once hounded day and night by a loli. Haku, from what he saw, was very cheap with her money. Three times they took a detour when Haku spotted come wild mushrooms and animals. She took every chance she could to catch her own food and, he could only guess, would never spend her money until absolutely necessary.

When he asked about it, she described herself as frugal.

And as usual, she was a Kunoichi. He knew it from how he noticed nature chakra reacted to her strangely cold chakra. Naruto had to roll his eyes when he realised she was a Kunoichi. It was like all Kunoichi he came across were weird. But the moment she mentioned the name Zabuza, Naruto's opinion of her changed from a cute, quirky girl to a serious threat.

He knew of Zabuza as a bloodthirsty missing-nin from the land of water. Missing-nin from the land of water were the only type of missing-nin Satsuki seemed to trust because most of them were just desperate to get away from the bloodshed. They all seemed like decent folk, if not a little bit damaged, and they got along very well with the other maids.

But Zabuza was different. He was told by the other mist-nin that all Zabuza fought for was for the sake of killing. The only reason why she wasn't still in the mist was because both sides did not want her there. The bloody mist did not want Zabuza. Such was her maniacal need to kill. Now, Zabuza took jobs to sate her joy for killing. She was bloodthirsty, she actively looked for jobs that promised a high body count. Why she would keep a girl like Haku around, he was not sure.

But potentially meeting that Kunoichi did not concern him. What did was the fact that Haku provided a convenient way into Goto's compound. But Haku was a Kunoichi, she was not stupid enough to bring a stranger to Goto when everyone in the wave would love to gut her alive, right?

He decided to play it safe and gather as much information as possible.

Haku snapped her fingers in front of his face to get his attention. "Naruto-kun, stop daydreaming. We're here."

This was definitely Goto's mansion. The air was thick with the woes of the people Goto had swindled. It stunk of fresh fruits and the metallic taste of coin which wafted from the pile of plunder that was building up along the side of the house. Bandits guarded the mansion, not daring to touch Goto's huge prize. Most of them looked far too proud with the bloody stains on their oversized blades.

As soon as the mansion came into full view he heard Haku make a sound that was similar to a squeak.

"What a waste." Haku mumbled, "That money could do so much more..."

"You don't like Goto?" Naruto asked.

Haku shook her head. "No. I hate her more than anything. All she wants is more and more money for the sake of money. She just lets it pile up, just so she can look at it. That money could be used to feed a lot of people..."

"Why work for her then? Why don't you and Zabuza kill her and take the money?"

"Zabuza-sama says it's bad for business." She started blushing and looked to the ground. "Plus this is the most stable job we've had in a while"

Naruto chuckled as they reached the entrance of the mansion. They were stopped by a pair of men with cheap looking armor and arms. Despite the state of their arms, they wore that face of smug superiority that annoyed Naruto to no end.

"Hey, bitch! The boss told you not to bring anyone else here. She already has enough 'volunteers'." One of them spoke.

The way they spoke was enough to get a small frown from Naruto. To her credit, Haku's cute smile never left her face. "He's not a volunteer. He's here to work for Goto"

"Get lost," They scoffed, "Look here bitch, we decide who goes through these doors and who gets to see Goto." One of them leaned down and forcefully cupped Haku's cheeks "We could kill you right now if we wanted to. We can do anything we want, and you can't do anything about it. We are worth more than a skinny little girl and her crippled master."

"Mph Mo." Haku's voice was muffled when the man gripped harder.

"What did you say?" He laughed tauntingly. He loosened his grip only slightly to let her speak.

"Let go," The cute smile on her face took a subtle turn and morphed into something sickly sweet, "or I'll make sure you never walk again."

From where he stood, Naruto could see a thin, almost invisible, needle of ice coming out of Haku's sleeve and comfortably poked against the bandit's bare stomach. The bandit felt it if the sweat rolling down his brow was anything to go by. He let go of Haku's face and retreated to the side of his partner who stood oblivious.

"L-Let them through." He stuttered, failing at maintaining his arrogant aura. "Let the boss take care of her."

"I'm sorry you had to see that. Come on Naruto-kun." Haku tugged at Naruto's shirt for him to follow. He did so wordlessly.

As he followed Haku through the halls, Naruto took one last look at the quivering guards. They were so full of anger, like a lot of people in the world. The Kunoichi of the world were the top dogs. They held most, if not all the power in both the government and over normal people. All wars were their wars but were paid by the blood of people who want to live in peace. Naruto didn't think about it long enough to know whether or not humans, on a fundamental level, hated those above them or if the Kunoichi were bad for this world.

"Are you ok Haku?" Naruto asked, "Do they always do that?"

"Any time they can get away with it" She shrugged. Seeing the worried look on his face, Haku quickly added "Don't feel sorry for me Naruto-kun. This is what Kunoichi have put up with all the time"

That was true. This was not a unique case from what Naruto had seen over his short life.

Most, if not all bandits are male. That much was certain. If they had the chance, they would take their anger out on every Kunoichi, much like they did to Haku. They would kill to hold such power over who they perceived as their oppressors. Naruto was one of the few that didn't see things that way. He was born into a life that seemed intertwined with the more powerful sex, and he didn't deny that they were objectively the stronger one. What he saw was how one side could not comprehend their own flaw while the other, dogmatically refuses to think. Only he walked the tightrope between the two perspectives.

Naruto was incapable of hating Kunoichi because some of his most influential people were Kunoichi.

Still, in regards to the relationship Kunoichi had with normal people, what he saw was how one side could not comprehend their own flaw while the other, dogmatically refuses to think. Naruto didn't bother to think harder on the issue. Such issues of this world were not important when death by wars was commonplace.

A stench reached Naruto nose and broke him out of his thoughts. There was no foul smell, only a stench of greed that was so thick, he could sense it.

A door down the hall was thrown open and letting loose a barrage of cursing, fruits, and meats, followed shortly by a rugged looking cook being dragged out by a guard. When the guard dragged the cook past him, he noticed that a butter knife sticking out of his chest and a trail of blood following behind.

 _'Great'_ Naruto sighed mentally _'I just know I'm going to enjoy killing Goto'_

"Ehehehe" Haku stuck her tongue cutely "Just ignore that Naruto-kun. I'm sure you'll do better than that guy"

"Take this shit away!" Came a shrill voice "I said not to open those oysters! I wanted all the juices in them! That useless bastard cooked them for too long!"

"B-But boss, that's what happens when you cook oysters!"

"You're questioning my orders?! Kill him!"

"No please! No! NOOO! AHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

"..."

"..."

"..."

"...They pay is good?"

"...Didn't you say you got paid 10 yen?"

Haku made a pout.

When they entered the room they saw a short stocky woman leaning on her chair, picking at her teeth. Below her was a bony man on his knees trying to clean the mess that had been made. Goto looked like a woman who had seen better days. She looked as though she no longer cared about healthy living, opting to gorge herself with the riches she had stolen. Goto also seemed to think that wearing a ridiculous amount of gold compensated for her sick personality. Not even Satsuki, who was quite flamboyant with her wealth, would want to wear that amount of jewelry.

After this mission, Naruto was going to thank Satsuki for not ending up like the slug that was Goto.

When Goto turned her gaze on him, she looked as though she sizing him up. Her slimy gaze made him want to take a shower.

Goto looked to Haku and sneered. "What do you want, girl? I told you not to bother me until you killed those Kunoichi"

"But Goto-sama," Naruto could hear the strain in Haku's voice when she called the slug 'sama'. Haku put her hand on Naruto's back and pushed him forward. "This is Naruto. He wants to work for you"

"P-Pleased to meet you." Naruto weaved a stutter into his words as he bowed deeply.

"Huh?" Goto squawked, "Why would I want some rice farmer to work for me? He looks as stupid as a rock"

"He's not just a farmer," Haku said, "He's a butler"

"That's right" Naruto spoke up, "I used was trying to find work here in the wave but ended up being a rice farmer"

"Butler, eh?" Goto grinned like a shark "Who did you used to work for, boy? How much are they worth?"

"The Lightning Daimyo" Naruto lied without hesitation.

The Lightning Daimyo was known for being a slave driver with her servants and runaways were not all that uncommon. Plus, the land of lightning was known for the strange contrast between their native people. One-half being pale and blond, the other dark skinned and dark hair. Being a blond himself, it was a convenient lie that Naruto liked to fall back on.

Goto didn't look pleased by his answer, though. She probably thought that she could scam Naruto's old master but not even Goto was dumb enough to mess with a daimyo.

"Tsk. You, Kunoichi" Goto turn her beady little eyes to Haku. "What the hell were you doing out there anyway? Those Konoha Kunoichi are still alive and you and your master are playing house"

Haku gave Goto a sharp eye and held up the basket of herbs she was carrying, "Zabuza is injured. Two more days and we'll be ready to take on the Kunoichi again"

"Don't make me laugh" Goto snorted "Those two lackeys of yours were killed and you two were damn near slaughtered by those Kunoichi. Your master calls herself the demon of the hidden mist but she can't even avenge your own men. Pathetic"

By now Haku by now aimed an unrestrained glare at the short woman, "Don't talk about Zabuza-sama like that. You have no right"

Naruto realized that Goto was either very stupid or very brave to stand up to a Kunoichi. Even as she got up from the table, still quite shorter than the younger girl, she still kept her grin of false superiority leveled at the Haku. "Two more days" She held up two fingers "I want those Kunoichi dead in two days! Until then you and your master will get nothing from me. No food, nothing! I've had it with you two leaching off my good nature"

"And you," She looked at Naruto, "You're hired. Your first job is to make sure this dipshit and her master are up and moving by the end of tomorrow. And you're in the same boat as her and her master so the no food rule applies to you too AND SOMEONE CLEAN THIS MESS UP BEFORE I SLIP ON THE BLOOD!"

"Hai!" Echoed a resolute salute.

"Now get to work" Goto started to walk away with the help of a cane "I'm going back to bed"

As soon as Goto left the room, Haku jumped happily in front of Naruto "Isn't this great Naruto-kun! Now can both be paid! Granted Goto won't be paying you for a while, and we're not getting any food. Luckily we get a bunch of food on our way here" She held up the basket full of herbs "Come on, let's go Naruto-kun. I just know Zabuza-sama would like to meet you"

"Really?" Naruto was starting to think Zabuza wasn't as bad as he had thought. If Zabuza was a blood crazed murder then Haku wouldn't be this kind would she?

* * *

"Get over here you fucking prick! Get over here so I can kill you!"

"Ok, you need to chill!"

"You need to shut up and die!"

"Oh dear," Haku sighed.

As it turns out, Zabuza was exactly what Naruto expected. Extremely muscular, carried around a needlessly big butcher knife and in his opinion, not all that kind. No matter how much Haku tried to soothe the yelling, everything just kept getting worse. It didn't help that Zabuza kept trying to kill Naruto from her bedside.

"You bastard! You're the reason why Goto's not giving us food anymore!" Zabuza screamed.

"Maybe if you weren't such a free loader you'd have better food!" Naruto yelled. He ducked under a flying kunai and retreated behind Haku. "Ha! You missed old hag!"

"Be quiet you two." Haku scolded, waving around a ladle. "Zabuza-sama, you have to rest. Goto gave us two more days so we have to kick your healing up a notch. And Naruto-kun, please try to get along with Zabuza-sama. If not for me, do it for your own health"

"Yes, Haku." They both lowered their heads at Haku in shame only to realize they spoke at the same time. This time, the two settled for subtly glaring at each other when Haku wasn't looking.

"You look good in an apron Haku." Naruto complimented.

"Really?" Haku giggled, twirling on the spot. "I found this apron tragically thrown away in a rubbish dump back in the Mist. It was shredded back then but after a bit of dumpster diving, I got enough fabric to patch it up. I'm glad you like it Naruto-kun"

"Hey, aren't we forgetting something here?" Zabuza grumbled. She jerked her finger at Naruto. "Who that hell are you and what are you doing here?"

"Goto said I'm to help take care of you," The blond recited, "It's my job."

"I know that. Haku told me." She grunted in annoyance. "You say you used to be a butler for the lightning Daimyo and got a job here as Goto's slave. I know that. But also you said you wanted to get a job here."

"I did."

"And that is why I don't trust you." She clicked her teeth as if she caught him in a trap. "No one, and I mean no one, wants to work for a slime like Goto. I know how the lightning Daimyo treats her pets, but not even they are desperate enough to find Goto's help."

Before Naruto could think up a retort, Haku stepped in between the two. "Zabuza-sama, I brought Naruto-kun to Goto and that is why he got a job here. He actually wanted to start a farm here in the wave before he realized Goto had taken the island over." She smiled at Naruto. "I trust Naruto-kun. He's very kind."

"It's a bit too early to be making that call Haku," Zabuza said, "still, if she vouchers for you then I guess I can try to trust you... haha, you poor bastard. You only just got here and you're already in the middle of one big mess."

"...yea."

So far so good, Naruto had thought. With Zabuza being bedridden, Naruto didn't have to worry about his head suddenly being separated from his neck.

And so, Naruto was able to move with relative safety around the hideout. While Haku tended to Zabuza, Naruto put his experience of being Satsuki's butler to good use. He cleaned what he could, fetched food from the surrounding woodlands and fixed up holes on the roof with whatever meager equipment he could get his hands on.

He spent the whole day doing these chores and everything remained uneventful. Though Naruto did find many interesting things of note. Judging from the Zabuza's bloody equipment, Naruto knew it was him that killed that one missing Konoha-nin from the team from the forest. Whatever happened out there, it was not pretty. There was a small shard of bone still clinging onto Zabuza's blade.

It showed that the blade got stuck.

He also found a few messages addressed to Zabuza among her bags. He didn't get time to read it all but he knew it was from someone named Mr. S. The letter asked for Zabuza's service and strangely mentioned Haku's name more than it should have. It was...odd.

After a long day of cleaning and refurbishing, Naruto was ready to sleep his worries away. He couldn't think up of a good reason to leave the hideout to scout Goto's compound so he was stuck there. That only left him with one day to complete his mission of destroying Goto. If he waited any longer, Goto would have a solid grip over the Wave, and that was bad for everyone.

For now, he didn't want to think about it.

Just as he was about to fall asleep he was awoken by none other than Haku, who was gently poking him in the face.

"Wakey wakey Naruto-kun." She cooed. "Come one, wake up. I want to show you something"

"Uhhh...Haku?" Naruto groggily sat up on his bed of hay. "What are you doing?"

"Waking you up silly" Haku grabbed Naruto's wrist and dragged up. "Come on. Follow me"

The strength of her grip put him on guard instantly. It was then he realized he'd been had. But with how hard Haku's chakra enhanced grip latched on to him, it wasn't like Naruto had a choice.

Cursing himself for his blunder, but still trying to play it cool, Naruto allowed himself be dragged out of the hideout and into the moonlit forest.

"So Haku," Naruto began, "...Where are we going?"

"That will be spoiling the surprise." She winked at him. Haku's smile did not comfort him in the slightest. From what he'd seen from her, she never stopped smiling. And that made her that much scarier.

A chill ran down his spine.

Nature chakra avoided living creatures like a plague. It was because of the conflicting nature of normal and Nature chakra. Other than Sages, who more or less forced them together, the two chakras are never found mixing together. Should someone unlearned try to do so, the two chakras will stop at nothing to destroy one another. That is...until something dies.

When a living creature dies their chakra lingers behind, clinging onto its own fading existence. Naruto had seen many times, how at the moment of death the two opposing chakras finally end their never ending conflict. They would embrace each other as if they were old friends and as the human chakra fades away, it would finally know peace.

And with every death, follows a silent mourning that echoed through Nature.

Today, outside in this frosty night, Naruto felt it, heard it. That soundless sorrow of a dear friend.

"This place had seen death," Naruto whispered only moments before the smell reached his nose. Haku was silent now, choosing not to comment.

Coming to a stop near the edge of a misty cliff, Haku released her grip on Naruto hand. She watched Naruto continue forward by himself to the very edge of the cliff. She did not know it but Naruto's connecting with nature pulled him forward. The sadness in the air made Naruto want to comfort his dear friend that stood by him for all his life. The fog that clouded the long drop started to dissipate and the full extent of death was shown to him.

"Death has been here, Naruto-kun" Haku confirmed. She stood by his side, looking down into the dark below. "The land of waves didn't just lay down and let Goto take over. They had a small militia of about fifty men. They fought bravely for their homeland, or so I am told. But they were betrayed, and now they rest here"

Naruto was silent for a bit. "...There are not fifty men here."

"No." She shook her head. "The people who rest here are their families, their friends, their precious people. Anyone remotely related to the militia ended up here" Haku looked up at Naruto. "Goto didn't kill the militia, you know. They were captured, brought here, and got given a knife. They could either choose to try fight Goto's army of bandits, or..."

"None of them chose the first option." It was not a question. Naruto sighed "So how long did you know?"

"Since the day I saw you in that town on the mainland. I take regular trips there to buy cheap food with my coupons and I saw you there spending a lot of money to get into the wave. I don't need to be smart to realize you were a spy of some sort"

"...Damn, I'm getting careless" He laughed grimly. He bent down and picked up a tattered doll laying by his feet. "So that's why you dragged me to Goto. You actually wanted me to be here. Question is, _why_. You and Zabuza are more than enough to do whatever you want to Goto"

"You remind me so much of my mom and dad" Haku smiled as she cupped the side of Naruto's cheek. Whatever she saw on his face that gave her that sad smile was invisible to him, but he could guess what it was. "You're so kind, caring. Your eyes make me feel safe, and your laugh is so...it makes my heart race. But no matter how much I see my parents in you, why is it that all I see is Zabuza-sama?" She pulled back her hand as if she was burnt. "You're evil Naruto-kun. You smile and you laugh, but under those eyes of yours...is something dark"

"You're scared?" Naruto smiled at Haku's flinch.

"I am," She admitted, "That's why I need you. Goto needs to die. After the mist, I promised that I would never kill anyone anymore and Zabuza-sama won't kill anyone that pays her. I'll do anything you want, just help me Naruto-kun"

"Does Zabuza know?"

"No. There is no need for her to know"

"I see. Quite a little schemer aren't you Haku. In that case, I accept" Naruto threw the doll in his hands off the side of the cliff. "My mission is to destroy Goto and to make sure she drowns in ultimate despair. Together, we will crush her. But I want you to know, if you cross me in any way, you will regret it. And because I don't have chakra like you, my punishments are a lot more...crude"

"I understand, Naruto-kun." She bowed. "I think I know where to start with your plans Naruto-kun. When we get up tomorrow, I'll introduce you to someone that might help you. Other than that, you're on your own I'm afraid." She looked up to the moon that hid behind the clouds. "It's late Naruto-kun. I'm going to bed now...You can stay out here if you want...Have a nice night."

"Good night Haku" Naruto spoke to Haku's retreating form.

Turning back to the cliff, Naruto took one last long look. He truly felt sorrow at the sight of this needless death. His master had made sure he knew the implications of such a tragedy and if he could, he would move heaven and earth to save a single life. Still, there was that small part of him that managed to seep through the cracks of his mind, something that Haku noticed. That damning artifact of his childhood that refused to die.

Unknown to him, as he turned to walk back into the forest an inkling of a smile sneaked up onto his face.

And unlike Haku, Naruto dreamt sweet dreams that night.

* * *

On the same cold night, miles away from the wave, a swift kick aimed directly at the wooden training dummy sent it flying across the training yard where it promptly shattered against the side of the marble mansion.

By the time head maid, Kurostuchi found the source of all the noise, Satsuki's foot found its place among many more dummies. Satsuki paid no mind to the arrival of the maid, instead choosing to move onto the next training dummy. The maid, who was used to Satsuki's apathy towards her own servants sat on the sidelines. She stayed there, simply enjoying watching Satsuki's clumsy moves that had been degraded by her time sitting behind a desk.

After a long while, Satsuki paused in her absentminded destruction and turned to Kurostuchi.

The maid's face was plastered with superior glee.

"Don't say anything," Satsuki preemptively shot. She flexed her fingers, testing her strained tendons."I know. My body isn't what it used to be."

Kurotsuchi teasingly smirked at her boss. "Could it be that you're getting fat?"

Satsuki gave her an unimpressed look. "Is that supposed to hurt? I'm not some anorexic teenager out of the academy. I'm the leader of -"

"A multi-billion dollar organization," The spunky maid rolled her eyes. "You know, there's a proverb an old lady back in Iwa used to say all the time. 'Thou dost protest too much'"

"What's this?" Satsuki laughed. "Did Kurotsuchi-chan actually say something smart?"

"Smarter than you"

The Uchiha scoffed "So says the rock-nin"

Kurotsuchi was the last person anyone would expect to see as the head maid of Satsuki's estate. She was, after all, the granddaughter of Oniki, the Kage of Iwagakura. As someone who was for all intents and purposes raised to take up the mantle of the Tsuchikage, seeing her serve the heiress of the Uchiha clan and command Konoha bred Kunoichi maids was something that seems to defy natural law.

To most people, the feud between Iwa and Konoha seemed like a constant in the universe. To suggest otherwise was on par with telling a man the world was round.

The most loyal of Satsuki's maid snapped out of her moment of immaturity and found Satsuki sitting right next to her.

"Please" Satsuki turned her back to Kurotsuchi and lifted her flowing raven locks "If you don't mind"

"Hai, mistress" The Iwa born maid went to work tieing the Uchiha's hair immediately. It was a testament to her dedication to her job when she could put aside her normal snarky self and allowed herself to be commanded. It was also praiseworthy that, as an Iwa noble, the realization that she could nap Satsuki's neck right then and there, did not cross her mind for a second.

"I'm jealous." Kurotsuchi murmured. "You Konoha Kunoichi's all have nice hair. I bet it's because of all the spring water you have around here"

"That is true." Satsuki sighed wistfully. "I still remember the days I went to Konoha's famous hot springs. They were magical"

"That's what I'm saying." Kurotsuchi scoffed at the thought of her home country. "Half of Iwa is covered mines and smelters, and the rest is made up of Kunoichi academies. We didn't have anything fun" She paused. "But I guess it wasn't all that bad. Back in the academy, my friends and I had to improvise our fun. I remember one time we had the bright idea of creating an avalanche out of dirt"

"And yet you complain about your hair?" Satsuki laughed. "But now that you're living here in the land of fire, you can grow your hair out more"

The Iwa native took up a mock offended look. "Me? Long hair? No thanks!" She brushed her short hair to emphasize her point. "Short hair is nice and manageable. And if I get into a fight, I don't have to worry about someone pulling on my hair. Don't you worry about someone doing that to you?"

She shrugged. "If they do then I'll burn them"

"...There are two kinds of people."

They both laughed together. The silence that followed was brought on by a sudden change in mood coming from Satsuki. At times like this, Kurotsuchi knew that Satsuki wanted to confide in someone. Usually, the ever present blond butler was the one she turned to. But now he was gone, Satsuki was debating whether or not she should talk to her maid.

Something she had never done before.

"I'm worried," Satsuki admitted after some time. "Last week, I found out that bandits all over the land of fire had stopped listening to the Daimyo and business owners. I thought it was because of Goto and that's why I sent Naruto . . . but just this morning . . ."

"It's worse than you thought it was"

The Uchiha nodded "This is not an isolated incident. All over the world bandits, thieves and scoundrels just stopped taking orders. All of them."

"What's there to worry about? If you know about this then the hidden villages know, and they will crush them if they're up to no good"

"I'm not worried about them," Satsuki said. "I'm worried about why they're doing what they're doing. While the hidden villages take a reactionary approach to things like this, I'm the person who wants to know why they happen" With the final knot tieing her hair done, she turned to face her maid. In her hands was a note."It's too early to say, but I think they're becoming coordinated. Something like this doesn't happen naturally. Someone or something is making them act this way. "

Kurotsuchi snatched the note out of her hands. It was a small map of the world with crude sketches of bandit movements on it.

Kurotsuchi hummed as she scanned the map"It looks like a rebellion to me"

"Explain"

The maid rubbed the back of her head, trying to form her words. "Well . . . Iwa has the largest slave workforce in the world working their mines, and rebellions happen every now and then. So back when I was a Genin I had to put down a few of them. Learning how to recognize the beginnings of a slave revolt and how to crush it is a must for Iwa kunoichi"

Satsuki looked at the note she drew out "...Could it be?"

"It's not a stretch when you think about it," Kurotsuchi said "The slaves back in Iwa are all men. Nearly all bandits are men. And I know that, at least in Iwa and Kumo, escaped slaves tend to become bandits themselves. This could be the beginning of a war between slaves and Kunoichi"

"I see . . . But that's not going to help me sleep at night. I mean . . . Why now? People don't just get up and decide to revolt. Someone must be pulling the strings somewhere." Satsuki grabbed her hair in frustration. "Damn it all! What the hell is wrong with this world!"

"You're overthinking things," Kurotsuchi said, kicking her feet up as she did so. "Take a page out of my book and take a breather"

The Uchiha sighed "Maybe you're right. I don't have to worry about something that's not here yet. Still, when Naruto gets back we're going to have to make changes to our plan"

Kurotsuchi perked up. "Again with this plan of yours. When are you going to tell us, maids, what his grand plan of yours is all about." Satsuki gave her a look "Oh come on! I might be from Iwa but you know that I would never betray you Satsuki. You have me a home when no one else would!"

She shook her head. "I'm sorry but I can't do that. Don't take this personally but we worked for years planning for what's coming and I'm not going to risk it by telling someone. Even you Kurotsuchi"

"Damn it" The Iwa maid cursed "Seriously, what are you planning for?! And what kind of plan needs you to take control of a monopoly. It's like you're planning for the end of the world or something . . . " A pause ". . . No fucking way. The end of the world!"

"Shhhhhh" Satsuki put her hands over her maid's mouth, looking to the mansion in case someone heard "It's not like that. It's . . . just something that could change this world forever"

"Sounds like the end of the world to me"

"It's not" Seeing Kurotsuchi wasn't going to be easily convinced, Satsuki caved in "When we were young, Naruto and I found something when were tomb raiding. I can't tell you what it was . . . but it was something that we could not ignore. Please forget about the plan Kurotsuchi." Satsuki looked to the moon above and the stars beyond "Instead, enjoy the world while it lasts. And know that Naruto and I will protect this world with our lives"

Kurotsuchi recognized that unbreakable will she saw in Satsuki's eyes. It was something that Iwa praised but to see it so resolute in the eyes of her boss made her feel calm. Laughing out loud, she threw herself back and laid down on the rich grass. "Hahaha, wow. Who knew you and that blond idiot had this in your closet. So how bad is it?"

"If we fail, existence itself will end."

"This seriously sounds like the end of the world to me Satsuki"

"Shut up Kurotsuchi" Satsuki laid beside her maid and together looked to the stars "Hey, did you know those tiny little stars are actually suns? And around each of those stars are a countless number of worlds like ours? Out there, up there exist worlds unimaginable. Seas of great colors, silver planes, and pillars of glass and steel. It could all end at any moment"

Satsuki reached her hands out as if to try and pluck the stars out of the sky. "I want to see all that. I want to explore the sky like the gods, conquer the spaces between the lonely stars and discover the science of fighting gravity" She lowered her hands. "But I can't. Because I have a duty to uphold. But if not me, perhaps someone else will start the conquest of spaces for me"

She turned to her most loyal maid "Promise to me, that if I die, I want you to discover what is out there for me"

"Wow. That's deep" Kurotsuchi whistled. The former rock-nin turned to the Uchiha, not as a servant but as a friend. "I don't believe you're going to die Satsuki. You're stronger than you think you are. But Ok. As long as I live, I will explore until I see everything that there is to see" Then she laughed "Hahaha, I just realized. If we're going to be taking on the end of the world, imagine what that blond idiot must feel."

"True, he does have a seem to attract a lot of trouble" Satsuki giggled. "Remember that time when you first came here? You should have seen the look on your face when you found out he was the son of the Yondaime Hokage"

"Oh shut up" The normally boyish girl laughed, lightly punching Satsuki in the shoulder "Hey, you knew him when he was a kid. Got any good stories about him?

"Hmm, I really shouldn't" He was there, Naruto would have found Satsuki's brief moment of thought a few seconds too short for his liking "Well, there was this time when we stumbled a supposedly haunted mine shaft..."

And so, the ladies of fire and earth laughed merrily through the night, unrestrained by the politics and dogma of their homelands.

Perhaps, historians of the far future would look upon this moment as the day the world took it's first steps to peace.

Perhaps.

Maybe.

Hopefully.

* * *

"Ah, Naruto-kun! You're awake" Haku exclaimed, "Did you get a good night sleep?"

"Eh?" It was early in the morning and Naruto made sure to not make any noise. He fully admitted that his pride was hurt when Haku told him last night that she figured out that he was a spy. Though in hindsight, it wasn't that hard to figure out. And so he wanted to practice getting up without waking anyone up. His efforts were in vain though as Haku was at the doorway waiting for him.

"Not really" Naruto shrugged, "Sleeping on a bail of hay is not as comfortable as I expected"

"Then why didn't you take the spare bed when I offered it?"

"I always wanted to try and sleep on a bunch of hay."

"That's stupid" Haku giggled "Come on Naruto-kun, follow me"

Goto was not dumb enough to live on the same island as the people she was swindling so she built her mansion on the mainland. And because they didn't want Goto to find out about their plans, Haku and Naruto had to take a long way around. As it turns out, Haku had a kekkei Genkai that gave her the power to make ice. With her power, she made a short-lived bridge that disappeared as soon as they set foot on the island of the wave.

Not much had changed since Naruto last walked the roads of the wave. Same people, same boney children. But, he noticed, there were no bandits in sight. Goto must have recalled his men for something. What should have been something the villagers should celebrate over, only created a mounting dread.

Naruto leaned down and whispered "Didn't you attack the Kunoichi and their client on their way here. Are you sure no one will recognize you?"

"I was hiding when Zabuza-sama fought the Kunoichi," Haku said "She wanted to see if she could fight them head on. She almost killed the Jonin but the Genin sacrificed one of their own to distract Zabuza-sama" Haku frowned at the memory "They never stood a chance. It was dumb luck that saved them that day. Next time we meet in battle, I'm sure that Zabuza would want me to make sure the Genin don't interrupt her fight"

"Sucks for them" Naruto whistled, putting his arms behind his back carelessly, "With your Kekkei Genkai, it's going to be a slaughter"

"...You don't sound all that concerned"

"Should I be? My loyalty belongs to my master and my friends. Trying to save those Genin is not worth it"

"You're not even trying to hide your wickedness now, aren't you. Did our talk last night change you?"

Naruto snickered. "Wickedness? What are you, a priest? No, this is common sense. No man in their right mind would step in between two Kunoichi"

There was no arguing with that logic. It didn't mean Haku had to like it.

"We're here," Haku said. Looking at the building in front of them was obviously some sort of meeting house or a government building. It was clean, warm and looked as though the wood burners still burned. Seeing this one building standing bright in a backdrop of depression sparked a tiny flame of hate in both Haku and Naruto. She turned to Naruto. "This is the only governmental building of the wave. The man who lives here is the mayor of the wave"

Naruto noticed Haku's look of wrath when she said the word mayor and remembered something she told him last night.

"The milita...was betrayed" He whispered.

Haku nodded, "The man who betrayed them was a man named Takashi, the mayor of the wave. Goto bought him out with gold, and in return, he became the puppet ruler of this poor land" She pointed to the men and women laughing through the windows. "Most of those living here cling to him to escape starvation. Few remain truly loyal to him. I heard that this man used to be respected. He was the one who changed this place from a small fishing town to a large trading hub"

"It looks like he forgot about his people." Naruto mused looking around at passersby. "I wonder what made him do it"

The young girl beside him hummed in agreement. "Remember the pile of gold dumped in front of Goto's mansion, Naruto-kun? That was only a fraction of what she has. When Goto paid Takashi out, she made him her personal accountant because of his business smarts. He has information on all of Goto's riches"

Naruto grinned "Really? Oh this is going to be good"

"Good" Haku bowed "This is where I leave. Zabuza-sama needs as much healing as she can get for tomorrow. The rest is up to you Naruto-kun. Make Goto pay for every drop of blood she spilled"

"Thank you Haku" Naruto grinned "This is more than enough, dattebayo"

She tilted her head "Datte...bayo?"

Naruto blushed "...Shit. Sorry, I tried getting rid of it when I was little but comes out every now and then. Anyway, see ya later Haku"

Walking into the mayor's building was like stepping into another world. It smelled tauntingly of roasted pork, rich tobacco, and a crackling fire. No doubt the smell wafted outside to the starving children who feed of the smell. Walking up the main desk he was greeted with a hollow smile of what he guess was the mayor's secretary.

"Hello, I'm Mary" She greeted "How can I . . . You look familiar"

Naruto's eyes widened only marginally. "I'm sorry, but I'm kinda new here. I just joined Goto's..."

He drifted off when he saw that the woman named Mary peered closer and closer. He began to dance with the thought of killing the woman in case she rat him out. Thankfully that would never come to pass.

"Ahh!" The woman jumped from her desk "You're the famous explorer everyone is talking about!"

"Wha- I'm sorry lady but I'm not an explorer!" Naruto was taken aback by Mary's enthusiasm. He was sure that no one knew his real name when he went tomb raiding.

Mary began to circle him like an animal scouting a meal. "Bright blond hair, tannish skin, and whisker marks! I'm sure you're him!" She grabbed his hand and looked at him with starry eyes "Please you must follow me! The mayor and I are big fans of your work. He will be delighted to see you"

Naruto didn't have the mental capacity to contemplate what was happening up to that point. By the time he came to he was already sitting in front of a desk, being looked upon by a businessy looking man.

The man sitting in front of him, whom he assumed was the mayor of the wave was normal by many standards, which surprised him considering Goto's slimy but consistent character. Black hair, tanned skin common in the wave, and eyes that he recognized as that of an experienced businessman. To think, Naruto mused silently, that this unassuming man was partly responsible for the depression around him.

"Takashi-san," Mary said happily "This is the man they've been talking about! The blond explorer"

Takashi's seem to light up tremendously. Clapping his hands he called "Do offer ref food!"

In and out servants went, leaving behind a tray of mouth-watering scallops. In all honesty, the sight of such delectable food disgusted Naruto

"Please," Mary bowed "Tell us of your exploits. We do wish to hear all about it"

Naruto chuckled sheepishly. He had never really had to recount his adventures before because no one was really that interested "Well . . . Did you know only men used to have masculine names? This was because back then, men were the strong one who earned bread and meat for their families" He paused at the two's oh and ahs "...Well anyway, when girls got chakra, suddenly they were the stronger one. Eventually, girls having masculine names became the norm. Take the Hokage, Minato Namikaze for example. Her name would have been something different if we kept that old name system. Like Minata or something like that."

"Fascinating indeed!" Mary cheered to which Takashi nodded furiously "Don't you think Takashi-san?"

"Hazza!" He cheered "Azzah!"

Naruto blinked "Um...wait what?"

"Oh that" Mary smiled merrily "Takashi-san only speaks in Palindromes"

"...What?"

"Sentences spelled the same way both ways"

"Isn't that...nevermind" Naruto shook his head. Why did he have to attract the weird ones?

"Oh dear, I never asked what was it that you wanted" Mary realized "My apologies. But on behalf of Takashi-san, we will listen to your request"

Naruto paused. The way she worded it sounded...wrong "Request? What do you mean"

"...You mean you don't wish for anything?" Mary seemed surprised "Goto's bandits come here often to...request things from us. You're with them, are you not?"

"...What do you mean the bandits request things from you" Naruto didn't like the way Mary was talking. It might not sound like it to a normal person, but he could pick up the subtle tones in her voice. And what he saw disturbed him. Mary and Takashi looked to each other, each sporting a frown. Takashi, in particular, started to fidget in his chair. Not good signs in Naruto's opinion. Not goof at all.

"They...ask for things" Mary explained, biting her lips as to stop herself from talking "They..."

"What do they ask for?" Naruto knew he was not going to like the answer.

"...They ask for people" Mary started to buckle under the gaze of someone she admired.

"What kind of people" Naruto pressed.

"...Women, children"

"Why?"

"...Please, you must understand!"

"What do they need with women and children?!"

"Do you even need to ask"

Naruto closed his eyes in thought. Slave trading. Slave labor, sex slaves, and meat shields. It some a topic that was widely discussed among the rich of this world and not in a way he liked. All but a few did not deal in the market. The Kages, all of them, openly practiced it. It seemed natural to them, that the strong should own slaves. After all with powers that chakra granted, slavery was a natural conclusion.

Naruto's hand shot up and caught the mayor's arm in a tight grip "Don't move"

"Please let Takashi-san go!" Mary begged, trying to wrestle the mayor out of Naruto's iron vice "We did what we have to do to survive! You must understand!"

"How can you justify sacrificing the families of your militia?!" Naruto yelled. "You would sooner sell out the lives of your loyal men then stand up to a tyrant!"

At the mentioning of the militia, Takashi and Mary stopped struggling. They both looked mortified, not at Naruto but the memory of the militia. They had both gorged themselves with luxuries in order to drown out their memories. Locking themselves into the town hall afforded them the luxury of having no one to question them. But with Naruto scolding them like children, they both found themselves at an impasse.

Either accept their mistakes continue as they are. Or they beg for mercy.

It became evident soon enough, who chose what path.

"Dog doo! Good God!" Takashi cursed. Or at least Naruto thought it was a curse.

Growling, Naruto threw Takashi into the wall. Seeing Mary rush to the mayor's aid, Naruto realized he allowed his legendary Uzumaki temper get the better of him. This happened many times before on many other missions. Most of the time it wasn't a problem. A nuisance, but not a problem. Flexing his fingers, Naruto was prepared was eliminate his problem. But as he reached out to Mary, he remembered the night before.

Naruto had thought that the talk he had with Haku last night did not affect him that much, but it turns out it did. Naruto knew he was a monster on some level. After all, his past was something no one could experience and leave unscarred. But was this truly right? Satsuki wanted him to crush Goto but did he really need to kill to achieve that goal.

Though his thought process would be later thought of as illogical, it was enough to make him hesitate.

And in his hesitation, he decided to leave.

Emotions that laid buried within his psyche boiled to the surface and Naruto found himself at an impasse. There was something very primal within him, and it fought against the cold hardened mind Naruto worked hard to forge. If he had time, he would take the day off to calm his mind but he couldn't abandon his mission. Not now at least. As of now, his attention would be split between maintaining his sanity and her duty to Satsuki.

In his rage, Naruto turned a corner in a rush and was met with a blade to his throat.

"Whoa!" Naruto jerked back, rubbing his neck. "Watch where you're going, lady!"

"Ah sorry!" The girl with the knife quickly bowed. "I'm just ... on edge."

Naruto sighed "Look, don't just don't go waving that thing aro..."

It was then Naruto noticed something very important about the girl. She had bright pink hair.

 _Shit_ Naruto thought _shit shit shit shit shit_

She was the Kunoichi he saw training out in the woods the other day. The Konoha Kunoichi. Konoha. He definitely didn't want Konoha to find out where he was. And definitely not the Hokage. But he was lucky. This sixteen-year-old girl, same age as him, was definitely a Genin if the way she moved yesterday was anything to go by. It still didn't make her less dangerous but at least she might think that a random blond on the street was not noteworthy.

Now that he had a good look, Naruto thought that the girl seemed very beautiful. Not in the same way Satsuki or any of the maids were, but there was something attractive he saw under those eyes of hers. He couldn't properly pin it down.

"I know." The pink-haired girl sighed, putting her kunai away. But she couldn't, her hands were shaking. "...Damn it all."

"...Are you ok?" Naruto asked.

"I'm fine." She stubbornly said. She tried to prove her point and tried to twirl her Kunai, only to drop it. Her face fell, dejected. Naruto picked the weapon up for her and held it out for her to take it. She was miserable, pathetic even, as her trembling hand was so violent she couldn't even hold it straight.

"You're lying," Naruto stated the obvious. "What's wrong?"

She was about to say something. She wanted to say something. Being slightly shorter than him, the Kunoichi looked up and him, trying to gauge what a simple man would know about Kunoichi life.

She dragged her gaze away from him. "...I don't expect you to understand"

"Oh, I know a lot of things." Naruto whistled cheekily. The Kunoichi in front of him was so similar to Satsuki it was almost painful. They both were as stubborn as a mule but deep down, they wanted to be helped. He found it absolutely adorable. The blond nudged the girl's shoulder. "Come on, try me. I might be able to help"

The Kunoichi looked hesitant, before sighing heavily. "My teammate died. In front of me. And I was too weak to do anything" She tried saying it as fast as possible, Naruto had noted. She probably didn't want to remember any longer than necessary. "I seriously tried you know. But that...demon of the mist, she tore through my ninja wire and Kunai like it was nothing. When she trapped our sensei, my teammate . . . she threw herself onto the demon's blade. She managed to cut the demon and free our sensei . . . but..."

The girl's knees wavered and were about to give way before Naruto caught her in a hug. The dams were unleashed and tears flowed from the girl like a waterfall into Naruto's shoulder. "She died! It was slow, horrible! And I stood back like a coward! If I did something different then she could still be alive right now! How can I go back home and face her mother?! Knowing how she died?!"

Naruto remained silent because that was the only thing he can do. It was awkward for him, holding a crying girl he had only met a few minutes ago. Not counting the time he spied on her in the forest of course. He was lucky, though, that the residents of the Wave in the street around them thought nothing of it. If anything though the looks he was getting was one of jealousy for they had already run out of tears to shed.

With the practiced patience of a monk, Naruto waited until the cries turned into a sob and sob into a whimper.

Suddenly he grabbed the Kunoichi's shoulders "Look, it might sound harsh but people die. Some, in very gruesome ways. I mean have you heard what kind of shit goes on in the land of water? And as a Kunoichi, this will basically be a normal thing for you. If you can't handle it, then you might as well quit." The look the pink-haired girl gave him told him that his pep talk was not working. "But if you truly want to be a Kunoichi, then ask yourself this. Why?"

She looked surprised. "Why?"

Naruto nodded. "Everyone needs a goal. To protect someone, to become powerful or maybe even to kill someone. I've seen on my adventures, how men and women alike can become so focused on their goal, that they become blind to the destruction around them. It might not sound nice but this is the only way I believe you can survive in this world?"

The girl was listening intently and thought of something. "Do you have a goal like that?"

"I do" He smiled, remembering the face of his master. "My goal is to protect my best friend, my mistress, until my dying breath. I promised my sensei that I would on her death bed. That promise is the only thing that gets me up every morning." Naruto looked to the clear sun, which was high above his head. "Crap, it's noon." He stood, bringing the pink-haired girl up with him. "Sorry but I have to go. Good luck Kunoichi-san. You'll need it."

"W-Wait! What's your name?!" The girl shouted after him as he ran off. "My name's Sakura! Sakura Haruno! And thank you! Thank you very much!"

 _'Hmm'_ Naruto hummed ' _Sakura...it's a beautiful name'_

Feeling that the situation with the mayor was impossible, Naruto made his way through the lush forests of the Wave. Haku said that she would make another bridge for him to get across at noon so he had to hurry before it melted. While the day was young Naruto thought that if he hurried, he could ask Haku if she has another tip for him.

That was what dominated his thoughts until...

"Excuse me?" Naruto spun around and was faced with the mayor's secretary. A face he was not expecting to see.

"Mary-san. I wasn't expecting you"

Mary nodded solemnly "I never got your name, explorer-san. May I...No of course not" There was a silence between the two. They were in the forests surrounding the wave so Mary was the most cautious of the two. After all, with the strength Naruto displayed back in Takashi's office, Mary knew that if Naruto wanted her dead he wouldn't even need to try. "I just wanted to apologize on behalf of Takashi-san. He's may seem aggressive now but...I swear Takashi is a kind man"

"Kind" Naruto scoffed "He sells slaves Mary. How can you defend someone like him?"

"Because he is a good man!" Mary looked down at her feet. "When he first became mayor, he did everything in his power to make the wave prosper. He made sure everyone was fed, built schools and singlehandedly put the Wave on the map! He did great things for the people. He was selfless. Everyone loved him!"

"And what happened?"

"Takashi was a businessman, he knew everything about the economy. He didn't ever think about what would happen to the seas if he kept on fishing. Slowly, the fish supply began to dry up, bandits started to raid boats and Kiri's in a civil war. Bad things happened and everyone started to hate Takashi. He was devastated that all his work amounted to nothing" She paused "When Goto came, Takashi decided that he wanted to be selfish for once..."

Naruto grabbed hold of Mary's shoulders "Look Mary. Look at the wave now. Ask yourself if the Takashi you knew would want this to happen?"

"...He wouldn't"

"And what would say if he knew he would turn out like this?"

"...He would try to stop it"

"Then that is what you must do" Naruto stroked the tears on her face aside and made her look into his eyes "Since Takashi can't change himself back, you will have to do it for him. Only you stayed loyal to him so only you can do it"

Mary took a moment to think but quickly came to her decision. "I'll do it" She took out a notebook in her pocket and showed it to Naruto "Ever since the takeover Takashi-san trusted me to handle all his paperwork. I know where all of Goto's finance are. I can legally transfer the money to someone if I wanted to. Hopefully this way, without money, Takashi would change back to his normal self"

"A wonderful idea" Naruto complimented. "Here" He took out a note of his own and handed it to Mary recited "The law of the land states that large scale transactions can only be transferred to someone with a credited account, approved by a Daimyo. And I just happened to have one right here. Transfer it to this account and I promise I will distribute it back into the wave"

"Really?" She beamed "Thank you...uh"

"Naruto"

"Thank you Naruto-kun!" She gathered all her paperwork and shoved it all into her clothes. "I'll get this done as soon as possible" She waved goodbye. "See you soon Naruto-kun!"

Naruto felt rather pleased with himself. Only someone with his luck could have pulled something like that off. If everything went right, Satsuki would awake to find that her bank account was billions of dollars richer. Not to mention from there, Satsuki could stake a claim on Goto's remaining assets and she would the ruler of both wood and sea. The chances of this happening were incredible. It was like the stars aligned themselves just for this very specific moment.

One could even say, it was too good to be true.

He paused. Was it too good to be true? He knew Mary was telling the truth when she said she could and would transfer all of Goto's money. Naruto had this way with people and he knew when they were lying. Mary was not lying. But there was this nagging feeling that told him something was wrong. And he was inclined to believe it. Most of his missions allowed him weeks to plan. He only had a night. Planning this all in one night was dangerous because he could have overlooked something. He must have.

"...Could I" Naruto shook his head "Nah. I'm just over thinking it. And over thinking is Satsuki's thing"

Oh, how wrong he was.

* * *

"So you met him?"

"Yea, he wasn't nice"

"Now are you convinced? You have to power to help your people. I hoped that when you met him, you would understand why you should do it"

"I know, and I will." The voice sounded hesitant. "But are you sure? He's very scary. If we do this...I scared of what he would do."

"Don't worry, I'll handle it."

"But can you? You're kind and gentle. You promised not to kill anyone. He's the type of person who would keep getting up no matter what you do to him."

"What makes you say that?"

"He's like you." A pause. "People say that the most dangerous people in the world are those who have nothing to lose. They're not. The most dangerous people are those who believe that they can change the world. Just like you...You'll have to kill him. Haku-san, when the time comes, will you be able to kill him?"

Haku's eyes lit up with cold resolve. "I will. Jinchuriki like him doesn't deserve to live."


	4. Chapter 4

It was a night, very unlike any other night, she had seen before.

For as long as her young mind allowed her to remember, her family was always on edge. She was taught at a very young age how to run, how to hide and how to beg. Because of how young she was, this constant fear of this unknown threat plagued her life seemed like a game to her. Much like how normal children pretend the ground was lava, raging rivers were her playground.

The early years of her life were tough. She was a once told that the family was rich and powerful years ago. They had a village of their own, with servants and food that would make anyone turn green with envy. By the time she turned three, however, they had become poor scavengers. So poor, that even the most meager scraps of food they found were considered a luxury.

She was ignorant to the dark world she was born into. If given the choice, she would live the life of a beggar, a survivor, for all of her life. Though starvation came as often as the sun, she was happy.

Then, one night, she was awoken by someone she thinks was her mother. All she remembered was panic and fear. Everything moved too fast for her to keep up with. She was forced to crawl through filth and was told to run as far as possible. She thought she was a playing game. Her family always played this game. The aim of the game was to see how far they could get as fast as possible. She was the fastest out of all of them.

By the time she stopped, there as quiet and darkness. Looking back into the horizon she saw all that she knew, burn.

Confused, an air of dread carried the cries of her family.

Among the cries, Haku made out those damning words.

"The jinchuuriki is here."

* * *

 **Shatterpoint**

* * *

Haku was suddenly struck with an awfully strong sense of deja vu.

The sixteen-year-old girl had the luxury to play with the thought of how deja vu just bought the sleeping blond before her a few more seconds of life. She felt guilty last night, drugging with herbs he helped collect. But this way, the kill would be humane. Just like how the butchers do it.

Haku bit her lips. She really didn't need to make that comparison.

For all her talk of pacifism, Haku was not incapable of killing. The way she saw it, sometimes people had to die in order for her to be of use to Zabuza. She had been lucky so far, as most people who she had to kill just happened to be awful people. But Haku had never truly wanted to kill someone herself. That's what made her different from common killers. She might help someone else along to kill someone but never would she want to do it herself.

At least not anyone human.

Haku's only mistake, upon seeing Naruto for the first time, was when she thought he was a simple spy. She thought she could use him to kill Goto, someone whom she hated will all her being. She obviously couldn't do it because she knew she would enjoy it and that is not acceptable. She got too close to Naruto and, although she thought he was scary, became attached to the blond.

That subtle affinity she had towards him only made it harder to accept that he was a Jinchuriki.

 _'He's a monster,'_ She tried to convince herself, her hand inching closer for a brief moment, ' _just like the rest of them.'_

"You can do this, Haku." She whispered. "You've done this before. You've drugged and murdered someone before...no you haven't but there's a first time for everything." After more time fighting her arm for control, Haku stepped back, pulling her fine hair in frustration. "Why is this so hard? He isn't even your friend Haku" She glanced and the sprawled out blond. "...But he isn't a stranger either. Maybe that's why..."

"Haku" Zabuza stood, leaning on the doorway out of the room with her sword resting on her shoulder. To Haku, Zabuza had seen better days. The scab crusted gash across her chest had not even healed yet. Still, Zabuza wasn't the type of person to let something like that slow her down.

"Zabuza-sama," Haku spoke, "did you hear any of that?"

"I'm an A-rank Kunoichi Haku," she deadpanned. Zabuza turned to the blond, who was still fast asleep. "Poor bastard. I almost feel sorry for him. Almost." Haku flinched when Zabuza glared at her. "He's a Jinchuriki. And if I'm right, he must be Konoha's. The Kyuubi. He'll fetch a nice price." Haku started to squirm as Zabuza stood up to her. The older woman towered over the girl and grabbed her shoulder in a tight vice. "I don't give a damn about what you think about Jinchuriki. You are not to kill him."

Haku bowed her head submissively. "Hai, Zabuza-sama. I understand."

Zabuza grunted in response. "So how strong are the drugs you used on him?"

"Enough to kill an elephant."

"Good. He'll be here when he gets back." Zabuza walked to the door. "Come on now, Haku. We have a job to do. After we get paid, we're going to the nearest bounty station to cash him in. Are we clear?

"...Hai Zabuza-sama." Haku followed her master out of the room, picking up her belt of needles on the way. She looked at Naruto for one last time, seeing if she could decide what she felt about the blond. Still conflicted, she left the room.

Naruto was left alone in the room.

Suddenly Naruto started to choke and convulse. The drug in his body was a neurotoxin which attacked his nerves. One by one, each of his organs was cut off from his brain. Slowly, Naruto's body started to grow deathly calm. Even if he were conscious and armed with his flawed form of Senjutsu, he would not have been able to fight the touch of a poison this deadly.

His breathing slowed to a crawl. Naruto was surely about to draw his final breath.

Unseen by anyone, above him hovered a haunting robed figure with its skeletal arms wide open in a cold embrace.

* * *

Kurotsuchi danced her way through the halls of her Uchiha master's home, careful not to damage all the priceless artifacts sprawled along the floor or let the pile of sheets she was carrying fall. Her nose scrunched up at the hint of millennia old dust in the air, having been released from the number of open display cases. She made a note to herself that she should clean all this mess up later.

Entering Satsuki's room, Kurotsuchi saw that her bed was neat and tidy, far too tidy for someone as lazy as Satsuki to have slept in. Looking over to the only desk in the room, she found the short Uchiha slumped over, sleeping, as expected, clad in only her panties. She didn't even have a bra on.

"Idiot," Kurotsuchi whispered, "you'll catch a cold."

"I don't catch colds." Came a tired yawn. "Besides, the fire is still burning"

Indeed, the fireplace in the room still crackled with hot embers. Sighing, Kurotsuchi set down the sheets she was holding. "Come on, Satsuki. You need proper sleep. Get into bed and I'll get the bed warmer ready."

"No need. I have work to do." The half naked Uchiha grumbled as she got up from her chair, and stretched her strained back. "Naruto usually carried me to my bed when I do this." She explains. "I never realized that Naruto did so much for me until I sent him away"

As Satsuki went to the kimono neatly folded on top of her bed, Kurotsuchi looked at her desk to see what she was working on all night. The Uchiha was training for most of the night so she was curious about what kept her up. On the desk were an assortment of diagrams and strange notes and symbols, along with one of the only intact swords Satsuki and Naruto had collected.

"What is this stuff?" She asked shifting through the mass amounts of paper. "It doesn't look like anything I've ever seen."

"Chemical analysis," Satsuki said over her shoulder, "I found some of Naruto and Suiton's notes about the metal some of our artifacts are made out of. I remembered asking them to do it but I guessed I forgot all about it."

Kurotsuchi blinked owlishly. "...What?"

"I forget that no one knows about this stuff." Satsuki giggled. "One of the things that Naruto and I learned quickly, was that some of the civilizations the came before knew a lot more than we do right now." Now dressed, she walked to the desk and picked up a small silver dagger. "This was found in a tomb, untouched for thousands of years. From a time before chakra. Why out of all the weapons I have collected, is this weapon still as sharp as it was made?"

"Because it's made out of something else entirely." She motioned the diagrams. "These diagrams, these symbols are part of an ancient element identification system. I've only gotten a few scraps of the systems here and there, but I have enough to identify what this dagger is made out of."

Kurotsuchi reached out and picked up one of the other silver daggers. Her eyebrows raised. "This is heavy!"

"That is depleted Uranium, according to this system," She held up the dagger in her hand, "and this is tungsten. Depleted Uranium is two-and-a-half times denser than steel. These two metals are some of the strongest, most durable metals in the world. To forge these metals...the people who made these weapons must have had great power in their time"

"This is amazing." Kurotsuchi awed. "With this metal, not even the swords of the land of iron can match you."

"Maybe." Satsuki shrugged. "I've searched for a long time to find metal like this. There's not enough of this stuff on this planet to equip an army or anything. I was lucky enough when I found this dagger. Plus, even if I did find the metal needed, it'll take a while to develop a way to work the metal. A normal forge can't even heat this stuff up."

"So what are you going to do with it? Throw it away?" The rock-nin threw the heavy metal back onto the desk.

She got a shrug in return. "I have no idea. I'll probably give it to Naruto and Suiton to figure a use for it. I let them do their crazy experiments under my home. It's about time they make themselves useful."

Kurotsuchi's cheeks were set aflame at Satsuki's spiteful remark. Luckily she hid her blush with her hands before Satsuki could see it. In a rare moment for her, Kurotsuchi brushed her hair to the side in a very shy manner.

Straightening up her kimono, Satsuki threw a look at Kurotsuchi. "...Why are you giving me that look?"

"It's nothing," Kurotsuchi assured her.

"...Ok then." Satsuki began to walk out of the room. "Be sure to clean this mess up for me. You know where all the weapons of right?"

Kurotsuchi looked hesitant as she looked at Satsuki's retreating back. Sucking up her courage she said, "Naruto says that you're stubborn you know..."

The Uchiha stopped in her tracks. "Does he now?"

"Yea." She nodded. "...But I think it's cute you know...Not like a kid, but like a bunny or...something."

Satsuki looked over her shoulder, a single eyes peering into Kurotsuchi like a drill. "...Thank you, Kurotsuchi."

"No problem, Satsuki-sama." She bowed down to her master. Satsuki noticed that, ever so slightly, her bow was deeper than normal.

Kurotsuchi sighed in relief. She wanted to kick herself for what she said. She lamented to think about what Satsuki must think of her now. Of course, she wouldn't be interested in her. Satsuki practically grew up with a boy so she hasn't known the touch of another woman. She cursed herself again. Then she cursed her luck. If she wanted to get some, she could easily get it back in Iwa. All her Kunoichi friends back there were into it.

The woman laughed, collapsing on Satsuki's bed, breathing in her scent. "This is so stupid...Now I understand why the old woman back home hates blonds"

* * *

The silence of the hideout was broken by the sound of shattering glass.

"So this is the bitch's place huh?"

"Of course, you idiot." The man's friend scoffed. "Even if the directions the boss gave us is wrong we still have to burn the place down"

This man's name will now be known as Smartass.

The duller man of the duo huffed. "So you wanna loot this place or what?"

And this man will be called Dumbass.

"Why should we? Those two Kunoichi are poor as dirt." Smartass swung his sword and smashed some dusty urns. "Go make yourself useful and start the fire already."

Dumbass grunted. The dull bandit played with the pommel of his sword as he made his way through the hideout. But he stopped when something caught his eyes. On the floor laid that blond boy Haku brought to the mansion a while ago.

"Hey! Dude!" He called. "Look what I found?"

"Oh, what now?!" Smartass rushed in, ready to tell of Dumbass off but stopped when he saw what Dumbass was talking about. "It's that bastard that girl brought in." He grinned evilly, because how else would a bandit grin. No seriously, when have you ever read a bandit on this website that's not a one-dimensional tool? "Oh, this is going to be good."

"Is he dead?" Dumbass asked.

"He's going to be." Smartass stood over the unmoving blond with his sword raised. When he brought the steel tip down upon Naruto's throat, he unknowingly replayed the moment days ago when Haku first met the blond. Perhaps, if Naruto never met Haku, his skills would have stayed as rusty as it was during the beginning of his journey. Funny how things work out.

When the tip of the word came dangerously close to Naruto's throat, the blond's fist shot out and slammed against the weak metal. The flimsy sword snapped in half and using the shattered steel Naruto sliced the legs of Smartass asunder.

When Smartass fell onto the floor in agony, Dumbass had only managed to bring out his sword from its sheath. He looked scared because Naruto was nowhere in sight. Imagine his surprise when blood gushed out of his heels like crimson rivers.

Naruto, uncaring to the screaming men at his feet, clutched his head and groaned loudly. "Oh man . . . This's one hell of a hangover. Just what the hell happened?" He looked the bandits. "You guys have any idea?"

"Fuck you!"

"Thought so...Hmm?" Naruto stepped closer to the bed having noticed something on the bedside desk that wasn't there the night before. It was a mixing bowl. Within it, dried out herbs and odd smells. What was in the bowl was alien to him, but the small stinging of his nose receptors was all he need to know that it was not good. "...Damn it. I knew I shouldn't have trusted that girl." He sighed. "Playing butler for Hime for so long really did a number on me".

"Fuck you!" Screamed Smartass in an attempt to get more screen time before he bit the dust. "When Goto finds out what you did, she'll have your head!"

"Yeah! You and that Bitch of yours." Dumbass added, living up to his name.

"First of all, don't call Haku a bitch a thousand fucking times. It's so damn annoying. Bitch, bitch, bitch. That's all I hear from you! Is swearing the only character trait you have?!" He kicked the bandit in the gut so hard blood came out of his holes. All of his holes. "Second of all, WHERE THE FUCK IS THAT BITCH HOW POISONED ME!"

"Naruto..." Dumbass grabbed onto the blond's leg and groaned. "Don't say fuck too much. We need to keep the T rating."

"We're fucking past that point now douche bag!" Naruto grabbed Smartass by his neck and dragged him across the room to the window. Now hanging over a drop, and choking on his own breath, the bandit finally looked ready to pass out from fear. Naruto combed his hair back with his free hand. "Now, look at things from my point of view. I just came back from making satan my bitch and found out that I was drugged by a girl who could be Mr. Crabs incarnate. Honestly, I have no idea why I trusted her in the first place. I'll tell you now dude, they say 'don't trust crazy' but now I know not to trust cute either"

"..."

"...I did it again" Naruto let the man's body fall out of the window. Looking to the floor, he saw the breathing form of Dumbass. "Eh, lucky I got a spare." Dusting his hands of blood and grime, Naruto made his approach on the other fallen bandit. "So, you gonna talk or do you want to end up like your friend?"

"Please don't throw me out of the window!" The man begged through his broken teeth. "I don't want to die!"

"I'm not really going to..."

"Please don't kill me!"

"...I said-"

"PLEASE!"

"You know what, I'm tired of this." Naruto flexed his shoulders picked up the crying man by the leg. "I'll throw you out of the window if you don't shut the hell up!"

"PLEASEEEEEE"

The blond sighed. "Your choice. BANZAI!" The man screamed like an animal as he was thrown out the window. Naruto didn't have to wait long till he heard the thump of a body. Not long at all. Shouting over the windowsill Naruto screamed, "This is a single-story building you FUCKING MORON! Didn't you see it before you came in?!"

"...I forgot." Naruto vaulted out of the window and landed on the bandit's stomach earning him the musical song of crushing bone. Dumbass cried. Literally. Tears and all. "WHY?!"

"Why? Why what?" Naruto playfully joked. "Why are we here on this planet? Why even bother getting out of bed in the morning? Why in the world the did Author start to take the piss out of all of us after he transitioned away from Satsuki? Because it's midnight, he's hyped up on energy drinks and really should be working on his assignment due in two days but instead decided to procrastinate. That's why. Now shut up and let me think."

Ignoring the downed man, Naruto started to pace around to gather his thoughts. "So Haku drugged me," He began "but why did she do it? Did she want to kill me? But she said she needed me to kill Goto. Why would she help me with the mayor then?...There's something I'm missing. Haku led me to the mayor for a reason..." Naruto closed his eyes, concentrating on the concept map linking in his brain. "...Damn it. This is going to fast. Whatever Haku's planning, I need to play along. If I don't everything will go to shit."

Naruto glanced at Dumbass when an idea flashed by him. "What were you doing here anyway?"

"I'm not answering anything you monster!"

"Hmm," Naruto knelt down next to the fallen Smartass and held up his lifeless head by his hair. "I'm going to ask again, what were you doing here?"

Dumbass stuttered as he saw his dead comrade's face, which was frozen in a fearful state. "W-We were supposed to burn this place down! Goto's going to betray the bitc- I-I mean Kunoichi at the bridge. Goto has all her bandit waiting for them there. She's going to let the Kunoichi kill each other and kill what's left."

"That's a dumb move." He deadpanned. "This is A-rank Kunoichi we're talking about. Even if they're weakened, they can still cast Jutsus." Naruto sighed. "So what? Are You going to to the bridge after this to meet up with the rest of the bandits?"

"No," Dumbass groaned, "We were supposed to kill that bridge builder's daughter and grandson after this."

"Really now?" Naruto raised his eyebrow. "Did Goto send any more bandits to kill them?"

"I don't know! Maybe!"

"Good boy, you get to live," Naruto smiled and patted the man on his head.

"I-I do? You're not going to kill me?"

"Nope!" Naruto held up a familiar looking bowl. "How about some grub before I leave?"

"S-Sure!" The man gladly munched on the contents of the bowl. "Wow, this is...ACK!"

"Dumbass..." Naruto threw the bowl away as Dumbass jerked in an uncontrollable seizure. "So it was a neurotoxin huh? Haku was really trying to kill me. But how am I alive? ...oh yeah, that." Naruto stretched his muscles. He patted his pockets and checked that everything was in place. "Well, now that my plan is not going to happen, might as well play the hero."

Having no way to the wave was a nuance. But when he reached the shores of the mainland Naruto found a conveniently placed boat just waiting for him. This boat would have been an awfully implemented plot device if not for the fact that when Naruto was crossing the water he saw many of Goto's bandits climbing up the uncompleted end of the bridge, after having reached there via boats.

From where he was, Naruto was able to see some aspects of the battle above. An unnaturally small and thick mist covered a portion of the bridge. Within that mist, he saw sparks of metal on metal and the occasional roar of a Jutsu. Not far from the mist was a dome of ice. Haku. Unconsciously, Naruto's hand brushed his pocket which held the Jutsu scrolls Suiton gave to him.

He danced with the idea of easy it could be for him to burn the whole bridge down and be done with his mission. Everything was already going wrong for him anyway. He was sure that if he explained how there was nothing he could do to Satsuki, she wouldn't be mad.

He could imagine it now. He would explain it to Satsuki, how that sweet girl of Zabuza helped him. How that, if he could, he wouldn't mind being friends with Haku. He would explain how he saw a fascinating treasure trove of fun and quirkiness. He would also explain the euphoria of seeing that adorable face of hers scrunch up in horror as he tore her beloved master apart and that delightful sound of her gurgling shriek as he drove his thumbs into her eye pits.

Naruto recoiled away to the back of the boat when he realized the dark thoughts possessing his mind. He grabbed hold his head, trying to physically tear out the corruption in his mind.

"Get out of my head," Naruto whispered, "Get out of my head!" The still waves rippled slightly at Naruto's yell. The silence made apparent the loneliness Naruto felt as he fought his own mind. "Get out, get out, get OUT! You won't hurt Satsuki! I won't let you!"

As the painless throbbing started to die down, so too did Naruto's panic. When he opened his eyes, he gazed across the water with a conviction of iron.

" **It's been a long time Naruto.** "

"I squashed you before," Naruto snapped back, "and I'll do it again."

" **Don't be so mean, Naruto.** " A thunderous laugh sent shivers down Naruto's spine. The voice was harrowing, empty yet full with thick venom. With every utterance of that heavy, silky velvet voice a small fraction of his soul died. " **Aren't you happy to see me? This is not how you're supposed to treat an old friend.** "

"You're not a friend." Naruto face twisted in regret. "You hurt her. I will never forgive you for that."

" **How couldn't I? I saw an opportunity and I took it. You can't blame me for that.** " The bodyless voice drifted close to his ear. " **You were so nieve back then. Oh, how I missed you, Naruto.** "

"Go away you monster!" He cursed back. "Or I swear I'll...!"

" **Ahahaha** " The voice laughed. " **There you are! The old Naruto. That small child who wielded power like a toy, who trifles with a power he doesn't understand. How as it been, old friend? How many have you killed with your power?** " Naruto didn't answer. He refused to satisfy the voice with an answer. " **Ah, I was mistaken. The old Naruto never managed to shut up.** "

"You're right. I'm not that same kid as before. I'm different. I'm more powerful . . . Kyuubi," Naruto spoke that name with no small amount of disgust, "leave, now. I don't want to be your friend anymore. I'm your enemy. And if you hurt Satsuki, I swear, nothing in this world will stop me from destroying you."

The amused Kyuubi grunted. " **Very well, vengeful slave of the Uchiha. Very well. But know this, you're getting weaker. For years I've been locked away in the deep recesses of your mind but now . . . now your concentration is slipping**."

 **"The bargain that we made all those years ago still holds** **true.** " Roared a mighty declaration. **"I see everything you see, I feel everything you feel. And when the time comes, when your mind finally gives into despair, I will take everything from you.** " Just as the last wisps of sound disappeared, the last word of the Kyuubi seemed to echo louder across the dead sea.

" **Just like I took your dear master**."

The boat touched down moments later with a silent boy at its stern.

"Wow...That sounded super angsty. Like the, I'm-just-going-through-puberty kind of angst." Naruto shivered. "If Satsuki was here, she would be laughing her ass off."

Naruto ran straight into the forest, determined to save the family of a man he had never met. Very little things were said about the bridge builder. The only thing villagers of the Wave would ever say about him was that he was a drunken idiot and that his bridge was a bad idea. Naruto had to agree.

Mostly because the bridge was made out of wood.

Due to his experience with 'negotiating' with competitors of Satsuki's growing company, of which there are no more, Naruto knew what good wood looked like. The country was poor so they couldn't afford good wood so they harvested them from the surrounding trees of the Wave. The wood they got was poor quality, none of them had been treated. Combined with the wet climate and the sheer size of the bridge, it was only a matter of time before it rots away.

After more running, Naruto soon made it to the center of town. There, he realized one glaring mistake he had made.

"...Where the hell is the bridge builders house?" Naruto cursed. He looked around for people who could help him. "Hey! Anybody? Can someone tell me where the bridge builder lives?!" No one looked up from their melancholy to help him. The villagers who did look up gave him a scared look. Naruto realized that his scruffy clothes revealed more of his scarred brawny body. Looking at his reflection in a nearby puddle of water, even he had to admit that he looked frightening.

Maybe it wasn't him. Sounds of battle echoed over the horizon. With each sharp crack of a Jutsu, the villagers would visibly flinch. If he didn't know better Naruto would have thought that the Wave was embroiled in a war.

"Naruto-san?"

Looking over his shoulder, Naruto saw Mary standing there. She looked absolutely terrified.

"Mary, you shouldn't be out here. It's not safe."

"Takashi is gone!" She blurted out. "He was taken by Goto's men in the middle of the night. They said that Goto wanted him to be with her to witness something that's going to happen this morning. Please, you have to help me find him!"

"I see." Naruto hummed calmly. He looked to the rising smoke coming from the bridge. "I heard from a little birdie that Goto is going to ambush the Kunoichi after the battle is over."

"She's going to ambush the Kunoichi?!" Mary gasped. "But that's suicide! All Goto has is bandits. They can't do anything to a Kunoichi, let alone someone like Zabuza."

"She's going to jump in after the battle is over. When everyone is weakened."

"But why would Goto want Takashi there? He's just an accountant."

"Who knows." He shrugged. "Either way, we have to get to the bridge to warn the Kunoichi. That's the only way to beat Goto's men."

Mary shook her head. "We can't. Goto has a lot of men guarding the entrance to the bridge. There's no way we can go that way." She paused. "We can either sneak around, or we can try to fight our way through. Those are the only two option."

"Only two options." Naruto chuckled. "If I had a yen for every time I heard that..."

"Why are you laughing? This is serious!"

"That's exactly why I'm laughing. Sometimes you just have to laugh at how serious the world is."

"I don't understand..."

"Think about it. When you read a story about how a hero 'has' to do this and they 'must' save these you find it ridiculous. I mean, Frodo doesn't have to throw a ring down a volcano miles away from his home. He could just not give a shit and go home. Gandalf would have probably sent the eagles to do it anyway."

"Uh, who's Frodo?"

"Don't ask. Anyway, the point is that there are always more than two options in life." Another distant explosion rang throughout the air. The villagers he could see on the street all shrank deeper in themselves. If they cowered even further, they threatened to cave in on themselves and created a black hole. Naruto blinked as an idea popped into his head. Naruto strolled past Mary and picked up a discarded pan.

"W-What are you doing Naruto-san?"

"Just watch." Naruto slammed the pan as hard as he could across the pavement. The sound rang louder than the war going on in the distance and gathered the attention of the villagers. "Listen here! People of the Wave! Your country was taken away by a tyrant! Goto killed your neighbors, she has bled each and every one of you dry, and she has destroyed your once thriving country!"

"Behind me, a battle is happening. A battle that is going to decide the fate of your country. Goto is going to betray the Kunoichi she had hired to oppress you. This is a golden opportunity for you. You have two decisions! Fight or live your lives like this for the rest of your life. You can either die standing or live on your knees!"

Naruto blinked at the words that came out of his voice. "That sounded so cheesy. Kinda like the speech of a democratic senator. All talk, no do."

"Naruto-san." Mary sadly put her hands on his shoulders. "They're not going to help us. They're starving, they lost everything that has any value. They don't have any will to fight. At least not anymore."

The well-thought-out speech packed to the brim with emotional words failed to rouse the passion of the wave like Naruto had hoped and the author hoped that his extreme sarcasm could be picked up by the reader. The depression of the villagers could not be broken as they continue to ignore Naruto for wallowing in their own sorrow. Naruto found the scene extremely pathetic. It was as if the world was created by someone with an extremely pessimistic view of human nature.

Guilty as charged.

"...Well," Naruto sighed heavily, "if being a democrat doesn't get these guys to fight, might as well go full Donald Trump and turn them into mindless gun toting idiots." A pause. "What the hell is a gun anyway?"

The political commentary is both obvious and cringeworthy.

And I'm really sorry for that.

"Alright, you bastards have it your way!" He screamed, slamming his pan down. "Listen up you sorry sons of bitches! You are all pathetic! You think you lives are sad because some rich bitch sent some bullies to smack you around? You let your friends die for nothing while you drown in your own shit and tears! Never have I ever seen such a worthless bunch as you lot!"

Mary cringed at the harsh words. "Uh, I don't think that's going to work Naruto-san."

Naruto gave her a sly look. The villagers had heard what Naruto had said and they were none too pleased. His second speech did what his first one could not. It didn't take very long for livid villagers to gather around the boy who had mocked them. They shouted in protest and threw excuses. While Mary looked absolutely horrified at the wrath of the villagers, Naruto was oddly satisfied.

"Shut the hell up!" They yelled.

"You don't know our pain!"

"They took everything from me!"

"Marry me!"

The blond turned to Mary and gave her an apologetic look. "I'm sorry for this." He whispered.

"What are you doing?!" Mary whispered back. "You're going to get us killed!"

"You know what?" Naruto pondered loudly enough for everyone to hear. "I shouldn't talk shit about you guys. It's not fair to you." The villagers calmed down enough to listen to him. "You know who is to blame for all this shit? It's that fucking dip shit of a mayor! It's all Takashi's fault!"

Everyone was taken aback by Naruto's proclamation but then they erupted in a roar of agreement.

Naruto looked proud of what he did but was taken back by Mary grabbing his clothes.

"What the hell are you doing Naruto-san!" She panicked. "I thought you understood me when I said Takashi was a good man!"

"This has to be done, Mary." He said adamantly as iron before turning his back on her. "That's right! That bastard is the cause of all of this! He sold you out! He's the one to backstabbed the militia! And while all of you were starving, he locked himself in his tower, feasting on fresh meat and fine wine!"

"That's right! That bastard betrayed us!"

"It's his fault!"

"I'm going to kill that son of a bitch!"

"We should kill that bitch of his as well!"

"No!" Naruto shielded Mary from the mob. "It's that asshole's fault! Killing her won't change anything until that bastard is dead!" He pointed in the direction of the bridge. "Takashi is on the bridge right now! Right next to Goto and her men! Between us and him is an army of bandits!"

"But for every bandit, there is ten of us!" Someone shouted.

"We can do this!"

"I have some old butcher knives stashed down near the docks!"

"I'll go get my pitchfork!"

"Can someone punish me too~~~?!"

"Shut the fuck up Steve!"

"AHHHH~~~~~"

"What are you doing?!" Mary shouted at Naruto. "I wanted you to save Takashi not kill him!"

"I'm really sorry, Mary," Naruto said. "But this is for the greater good, Mary. Takashi betrayed this, village and he must pay for it."

"But he doesn't have to die! He should be given a fair trial!"Mary protested.

"Yes, he does." He agreed. "This world is not 'fair' Mary. This world is one where people die."

"Then what about these men. Goto's thugs have weapons! If they fight they will die! It will be a slaughter!"

Naruto looked offended at the thought of the death he might have just caused. He defended his actions by saying, "They'll die for their country. You can't take that away from them."

"No, not for their country. They'll die for you." Mary scowled at him. "Do the deaths of these men, who'd follow you into battle, mean so little to you? Are you that mad?!"

Naruto glared back at her. "Do the deaths of these men, who you helped betray, mean so much to you? Are you that weak?"

Naruto turned his eyes away from the woman. His cool gaze relished with the sight of the men, woman and children alike frothing with rage. They all buzzed around the town like bees, grabbing anything not bolted to the ground to use as weapons. Naruto felt mighty as the villagers descended back into their primal state. Like animals fighting over planks of wood and rods of steel as if they were scraps of meat.

His shoulders slumped a bit. What did he just do? Was sending people to their deaths by playing on their anger the right thing to do? Of course, it was. Violence was normal in this world of Jutsus and Kunoichi. Before tucking in their children Mothers would teach their children deception, not tolerance. Fathers would aim axes at necks not trees.

It was normal.

It was right.

Mary stepped back away from the carnage. Her loyalty to the mayor she looked up to all those years ago was already wavering. When she saw the blond maniac enrage the villagers, she realized that she no longer had a home to go to. The Wave she knew was dead to her; as dead as she was to it.

"Hey, where is that bitch going?!"

"She's going to warn Goto! Stop her!"

Naruto was shocked to see Mary running straight towards the bridge. At that moment, all reservation Naruto might have held was quashed. There was no time to change what he had done.

Naruto barked at the villagers. "I'll deal with the secretary! You just get your hands on whatever weapons you can get!" Naruto dashed after Mary without hearing the salute of the villagers. Mary, after years behind a desk, was easy to catch up to. "Stop! Mary!" Naruto shouted, grabbing onto her clothing.

"Get away from me!" Mary ripped her well-tailored dress and kept on running. "I have to warn Takashi before it's too late!"

"Get a grip woman! He's not worth it!"

"But I love him!"

"You idiot! Love is the worst fucking reason to ANYTHING! What you're doing now makes no damn sense!"

When they both rounded the corner, Naruto saw the guarded bridge in the distance. The scoundrels had dug out a flimsy trench and piled sandbags to entrench their position. He cursed himself. He couldn't risk tackling Mary down or the bandits guarding the bridge might catch on to him. The bandits noticed Mary and Naruto long before they reached them. They climbed out of their encampment and caught the hysterical girl before she could go any further.

"Whoa whoa whoa." One of the men said as he grabbed Mary. "Where the hell do you think you're going?"

"Let me go!" She struggled."I need to get to Takashi!"

Naruto slowed down next to the bandits who began to surround the woman. "I'm so sorry guys but she had a rough night."

The bandits looked at the small yet scarred decorated boy. To them, the blond teen looked like some try hard bandit with all of his scars and tattered clothing. "Hmm? Who the hell are you?"

"Get him away from me!" Mary shouted over them. "He's a spy! Get him!"

Naruto started to sweat when the bandits took out their weapons at the sound of the word 'spy' and the prospect of some entertainment.

Naruto sighed. "...Damn it."

"Hey, I think I remember you." One of the men spoke up. "You're that kid the boss hired a while ago. Chill guys, he's one of us."

"Are you sure that's him?"

"Yea, I saw him walking through the boss's place." The man looked at Naruto oddly. "Say, why were you in the village anyway? The boss told us to close the bridge."

Naruto smiled sheepishly. "I was...uh...scouting the village just in case something was happening."

"Uh...ha" All the surrounding bandits looked at Mary, who was still struggling profoundly, and her ripped clothes. They all looked slyly at Naruto. "Yea, sure. Whatever."

Naruto paused at their assumption and immediately felt disgusted. He swallowed that feeling pretty fast, though. He learned a long time ago that the world wasn't pretty.

Naruto ears picked up a shout over the sound of battle coming from the bridge. It started out small, hardly noticeable, but the sound was growing. The laughing and joyous men around him were quickly silenced. They all stared over Naruto's shoulder for a moment, not moving. Naruto too had to take a moment to realize what was happening and when that realization hit him, his eyes widened.

"Shit, Mary! Get down!" Naruto dove over the bandits grabbed Mary by her hand and ran to cover over the sandbags as the place where he once stood erupted into flames. He instinctively covered Mary from the flaming bottles full of flaming liquid which consumed many of the bandits around him.

"Charge!" Naruto heard from the raging mob of villagers.

"Damn it all! Get up Mary!" He shouted, dragging her along without listening to her protest.

Naruto held a tight grip on Mary's hand as he climbed out of the small trench. The bandits who were stationed closer to the bridge saw the mob and charged to meet them. The blond butler hand to guild Mary through a charging onslaught of men rushing around them like bulls. Without warning, villagers came flying from the skies as they jumped off rooftops and into the fray.

Naruto reached out with his spare hand and wrenched a blade out of a dead man's chest. He blocked and stabbed his way through the bloody battle. He killed both bandit and villagers indiscriminately. The flimsy sword he had held strong against his foes, even snapping weapons far superior to his. From behind, Mary saw Naruto strike with savagery and battle lust even with his single hand. All his strikes tore through the necks and guts without fail.

When the blood splatters stopped flying, Naruto was surprised. He had fought his way through a small army before he even knew it. His legs still carried him on, still running straight onto the bridge.

Naruto's arm was tired, his ears rung and vision became blurred. And still, he kept running. At least he thought he was.

A sharp pain surged through his brain and through his body. The world grew colorless and his body moved on its own. His vision cleared to reveal Haku, defending her master for what would be her last time. An arm encased in pure lightning-edged closer to her chest. Naruto's heart lurched. Then he remembered.

He remembered that night in his shed. Those strange images. They were visions, he finally realized. What was the vision about? It was about this moment, about Haku's death. He wanted to save her because he cared for her.

No!

She tried to kill him. She poisoned him. It was not a mistake! He wanted to kill her. To watch her suffer a life of torment. To snap her neck and watch her die. But he liked her. She was kind and beautiful. She's oddly cute too.

Naruto's brain screamed bloody tears like he had hit a wall of reality. The universe was forcing Naruto to care, forcing him to watch Haku die. This was how things were meant to go. It was a constant in the universe that must not be changed. Never has there been a time where Naruto did not care for Haku. And he knew it.

He fought against it. The universe had no control over who he could not hate. He pushed himself further towards Haku, breaking through a bulwark of logic and mathematics with the power of his deep, ever ending rage.

Haku will not die today. She will not end up like the Hakus of other worlds. She will not die for the millionth god damn time!

The invisible pressure vanished, along with all noise. In Naruto's hand was a fist smaller than his. He flashed his cheeky grin at the shocked woman in front of him. He panted. "Sorry, Kakashi Onee-san... But I can't let you do that." The masked woman gasped.

The masked woman gasped. Naruto smacked her across the head before she could talk and she fell, too tired to keep on going.

"N-Naruto!" Haku screamed. She shuttered in fear when Naruto laid an eye on her. "B-B-But you were...!"

Naruto chuckled lightly. It grew into a laugh then into an insane cackle that sent shivers down the spines of everyone present.

"I did it! I finally understand!" He shouted for all to hear. "I defied the universe itself! Everything up to this point has been a lie! Every achievement, every enemy killed was already decided before I was even born! But no more! Time may be set in stone but I hold the pickaxe!" He pointed into Haku's face. "You don't get to die here you bitch! If anyone deserves to kill you it's me! ME! AHAHAAHAHAHAAHAH!"

"W-Wha?" Zabuza coughed out blood and fell to the floor as the Kakashi's summons disappeared. "You're...that Jinchiriki..."

"Zabuza-sama!" Haku rushed to her master's aid. She took out her med kit and tried in vain to patch her up. "Hang on Zabuza-sama. Just hang on!"

Zabuza was fated to die this day. Naruto could tell. Even when his new found clairvoyance, he couldn't do anything to help her.

He looked over the bridge now that the mist was starting to clear. The first thing he saw was bloody. Really bloody. A girl riddled with ice needles lay in a pool of her own blood and that of an equally dead bridge builder. He might not know the exact place pressure points are but he would bet that was what Haku was aiming at. A shame Haku didn't think about what would happen if one were to _fall down_.

Crying right next to the dead Kunoichi, was that pink haired girl he ran into the day before. Sakura, if he remembered right. He actually felt sorry for her. From what he had seen of her, she was woefully unprepared for the life of a glorified mercenary.

He walked up to Sakura and rubbed her back. "Let it all out."

She looked at him, surprised. "What are you doing here?"

"Oh, nothing." He whistled innocently. Naruto grabbed Sakura roughly and stood her up. She protested little when Naruto once again brought her into a hug.

"Don't...I don't need you to-"

"Oh shut up." Naruto interrupted. "We both now you need this."

She didn't say anything. Sakura just stood there, enveloped by the body heat of a what she felt was a gentle soul. To her credit, she didn't cry this time. She might not have had any tears to cry but that was beside the point.

"Look, this might be hard to realize but I understand your pain. Life is not fair. Good people die for no reason while bad people seem to get on just fine. There is no justice in this world, Sakura. And I won't blame you if you want to just end it all." She looked horrified at what Naruto was hinting at.

"I'm not going to kill myself." She defied. "I have too much to live for."

"Oh? Did you think about what I said before? Have you found a goal to live?"

"No...But something tells me I might be getting one soon."

"...So is that a yes?"

She giggled and didn't answer. Instead, she buried her head deeper into his chest.

"You're weird you know that? You just came out of nowhere to comfort me."

"Tell me about it" He rolled his eyes. "Honestly, the way I'm acting in this chapter is confusing as hell. It makes me look bipolar. Hopefully, it'll be better next time."

"...I literally have no idea what you just said."

"Takashi!"

Naruto sighed heavily. He drew away from the hug and looked apologetic to Sakura. "Sorry. I have to deal with this."

Sakura was bewildered when Naruto walked up to a bloody woman who looked like she went through a war, even more so when the woman frantically backed away from the kind blond. Seeing her sensei on the ground she immediately went to tend to her, working to ignore her teammate. To this end, Sakura exchanged little glances with the girl who killed her teammate.

"Takashi!" Mary cried. "Where are you?!"

"God damn it!" Naruto tore at his own hair and cursed. "Just shut up woman! I'm getting sick and tired of your obsession!"

"Look what we have here." Naruto cursed when he heard a painfully slow clap from the dissipating mist. Goto stood there, secured by a large number of equally arrogant scoundrels. The author really didn't want to explain the scene because this scene has been rehashed over and over and over again. The short stocky woman smirked. "I knew you were a spy. That was why I sent you to Zabuza. I wanted her to kill you."

Naruto deadpanned. "Righhhhhht. You wanna tell us the rest of your diabolical plan, Mrs. Saturday-morning-villian?"

"So cheeky." Goto snarled. "Don't you agree, Takashi?"

"Takashi?!"

"SHUT THE FUCK UP WOMAN!"

"Ah ha ah ha!" Came a painfully symmetric laugh. Takashi emerged from the crowd, still dressed in a suit that contrasted that jagged blade he held. "Draw, O coward!"

"Oh, mother of..." Naruto rolled his eyes. "You know what? Fuck you, Takashi! Fuck you and fuck your Palindromes!"

"God! Red, nude, yo' ma's a samoyed underdog!"

"Kiss my ass!"

"Go fuck yourself! Flesruoy kcu fog!"

"That doesn't count you bloody idiot!"

"Takashi!" Mary shouted once again. "Please! You were once a good man. You cared for the Wave. You made sure that everyone in this country was fed and happy. The Takashi I knew did it for the greater good! Look at you now! You took money from a corrupt woman, and ruined this country! Please, you can still do good!"

"Do good?" Takashi's fists trembled. Every cell of his being accumulated as much brain power to create the greatest palindrome ever to have existed in all of time. "I? No! Evil anon I deliver. I maim nine more hero-men in Saginaw, sanitary sword a-tuck, Carol, I — lo! — rack, cut a drowsy rat in Aswan. I gas nine more hero-men in Miami. Reviled, I (Nona) live on. I do, O God!"

Someone must've broken a blood vessel writing this.

"As much as I love this comedy duo of yours," Goto raised her hand and all the bandits raised their weapons...at Takashi. "You, walk."

"Takashi!"

"Is this all this girl says?!"

Takashi looked as if he wanted to scream, but something stopped him from doing so. Probably because 'ahh' isn't a palindrome. He dropped his sword and scrambled away from Goto's crowd. Seeing one of the bandits load his crossbow, Mary ran towards the one she loved... Oh god, that sentence was painful to write. The bolt ran through Takashi's body with a dull thunk and his body went down with it. Mary cried out loud as she went to cradle her mayor close to her.

"Hahahaha. Did you see that? He went down like a rock." Goto gloated, her men laughing along with her.

"You know, you really shouldn't be laughing like that," Naruto said, "It really makes you look like an ass."

"You." Goto growled, "You thought you can fool me? I knew you were a spy from the very beginning!"

"Hard to fool huh? Yea right." Naruto grinned. "You won't be laughing when you check your bank account."

"You're talking about that traitor Takashi? Don't make me laugh, you're not the first person to go after my fortune. I had Takashi watched all night and he didn't do anything."

Goto wavered when Naruto's smug smile did fail. "Oh? Didn't you get the news? You see, Takashi wasn't the one handling your books. It was Mary who did all the work!"

"What?" Goto screamed. She turned to Mary and yelled, "Is this true?!"

Mary looked up from Takashi and glared a thousand daggers. "Your money is gone you thieving bitch."

"Oh that's it~" Naruto hummed as he wrote something in a notebook he got out of nowhere. "Satsuki is going to enjoy listening to the description of your face right now."

Goto's face roared with anger at the utterance of that name. "Satsuki?! That ignorant Uchiha?" Goto started gaping as the dominos started falling into place. "Wait...It's you! You're the one everyone is talking about! The Uchiha's secret weapon."

"I never really liked that title," Naruto said sheepishly.

Goto smirked. "To think her secret weapon would be a simple slave. As expected of that stupid little girl."

"Slave? No, not a slave. I am much more than a slave!" Naruto laughed. "I am the butler to the richest woman in the world. I am one that strikes fear into her enemies. I am the master of an ancient art long thought dead. But most importantly, I am Naruto Uzumaki! I am your death!"

"Oh really? We'll see about that. Everyone charge!"

Only Naruto stood against the mob of thugs and goons. In the face of certain death, he stood unbroken. His unshakeable morale would be put to the test when he grasped his pocket for his secret weapon. Empty. The scrolls Suiton had crafted for him was nowhere on his person.

"Hey, Jinchuriki!" Zabuza stood behind Naruto, her thin frame towering over him like a scarecrow. Her torso bled waterfalls and her arms hung limp. Still, she remained as hard as iron. "Don't keep me out of this."

"Zabuza? Aren't you supposed to be laying in a pool of your own blood?"

"I'll pretend I didn't hear that." She laughed, madness not even hidden. "If I'm going to die, I will have a good death."

"If you wish to die, let me be of use to you for one last time, Zabuza-sama." Haku stood beside Naruto and Zabuza armed with her half empty belt of needles. Tears had left its mark on her pale face but she stood firm. "And Naruto... I'm sorry about this morning."

"Oh, that. I almost forgot about that." He turned away from the Kunoichi in favor of the oncoming stampede. "If we survive after this, your ass is mine Haku."

"You think you can survive this, boy?" Zabuza grinned. "You're either stupid, or you might actually know something."

"You can bet on it."

"Pay attention you two!" Haku scolded. "We have incoming."

Haku jumped away to avoid the full force of the charge. Naruto and Zabuza found common ground with each other and they charged forward with equal force. Hard earn muscles were torn to shreds with the combined forces of needles, chakra enhanced blows and Naruto's terrifying ability to rend men asunder.

Now that he was closer, Naruto rather liked the bridge construction. It was rather blocky and made with simple girders, rivets, and wood but it had its good points. For example, there was this small detail he noticed on one of the steel pillars. Etched along the side of it were a bunch of names. He didn't know what the names mean. It could be the names of the builders or the dead militia but it added a nice historical value.

And the wood. Oh man, the wood.

He bashed the quality of the wood before but it sure looked fabulous up close. The wood was poor for certain but had its merits with its decorative, neat looking texture. He couldn't blame the bridge builders for thinking this wood was good because it looked like some of the best wood he had ever seen. He would have to talk to Satsuki about getting some of this wood. It would make a killing from rich people.

Naruto recoiled from his thoughts when the rich brown was ruined by red. He felt disappointed. Tucking his thoughts away for another time, he went to do his job.

"Sakura." The masked woman groaned. "What happened."

"Kakashi-sensei, you're alive" Sakura breathed a sigh of relief.

"Sakura...All I remember is..." Kakashi clutched her head. A daunting thought came to mind. She looked to her side to where her student was making battle with the fake hunter-nin but Sakura was in her way. The way Sakura looked at her, that sad look restrained only by a sense of duty and the need to carry on, confirmed Kakashi's worst fears. Again. "Damn it. Not again..."

"Come on, Kakashi-sensei. We have to get out of here." Sakura looked to the faint mop of blond hair amongst the battle. "He's got us covered."

Kakashi saw who Sakura was talking about. Her eyes lingered on that boy for too long before she found the strength to get up with the help of her only surviving student. She leaned on Sakura for support even though her body was by now numb from the battle fatigue. With her only free hand, she clutched two scrolls she managed to get her hands on before she blacked out.

"Naruto..." Kakashi muttered, her grip on the scrolls tightening. "You finally came home..."

 _'So that's his name.'_ Sakura thought, only bearly heard what her sensei said. _'Naruto.'_

Sakura watched this bloodbath over her shoulders as she carried her sensei. She was engrossed in it. She was overcome with a sense of insignificance when she realized what laid at the end of her career. It made her feel small. Over the course of a week, she had been beaten, witnessed death, trained harder than ever before. Even so, that strange blond boy that carved men like lamb shanks entranced her.

The way he stood, the way he walked, the way he killed.

Sakura had found her purpose in life. And that purpose laid at the end of a very, very bloody path.

Goto was dead. Her neck now decorated at the end of a pike and held high like a flag. Zabuza held the decorated spear up high in triumph, as the last laugh before death took her. Haku knelt before her fallen master, an effigy to an old age past.

Naruto looked at Zabuza with wonder. Never had he seen someone die on their feet. It looked glorious to him. He turned to the sound of groaning. It was Takashi and Mary. Blood was everywhere, none of which came from the equally dead bandit horde. When he approached them, Mary gave him a dirty look.

"Go away," she spat. "Traitor. This is your fault."

"I can't be a traitor to someone I was never loyal to." He stated. He felt it was a formality to witness Takashi's death, the same way a handyman would stare at his old tools before throwing them away. Naruto burned the image of Takashi's face into his memory before he turned to leave.

Naruto burned the image of Takashi's face into his memory before he turned to leave. But with the last of his strength, Takashi grabbed hold of Naruto's foot.

"Do, O God, no evil deed! Live on! Do good!" Takashi violently forced out, along with a good amount of blood.

Naruto smiled grimly. "Yea...Will do Takashi."

He lied.

"She died standing," Haku said, "just the way she wanted it."

From behind, Naruto wiped his fists of blood and grime with his now tattered clothing. "She did." He agreed. Naruto eyed Haku carefully. She just knelt there, staring up at her master. She must be feeling many things. Shock, uncertainty, fear of what's going to happen. He could imagine how it felt. He knew how it felt. "We're not so different, you and I."

Haku stayed silent.

"You admired Zabuza," Naruto began. "I once had someone like that. My sensei taught me and someone close to me. She taught me about the world and gave me a passion I would never have gotten." He looked to Zabuza and smiled at her blaze of glory. "Like Zabuza, my sensei is dead. I was lost, just like you are now. I was angry as well. Don't be. You should be happy with the way she died. It was a good death."

"I'm sorry," Haku said as soon as he finished speaking. "I poisoned you...and..." Her voice hesitated. She clutched her chest, imagining the hole that should be in it if Naruto didn't get to the bridge in time. She owed her life to him and she just tried to kill him. "Zabuza discovered you're a Jinchuriki and had me poison you. She wanted to sell you off."

Naruto clicked his teeth. "Thought as much. How did she know I was a Jinchuriki?"

"You have a bounty. Wanted by everywhere from Konoha to Iwagakure. Blond, whisker marks, male, is a Jinchuriki. Capture alive. Doesn't say who issued it in the first place."

"I could guess who that is." He sighed. He sat down next to Haku, admiring the demon of the mist.

"How did you do that?" The pale girl asked. "How did you kill so many people?"

"It was a little something I picked up from my time exploring ruins. It's more of a mindset than a martial art."

"...I think I heard you talk about it just before the fight. You said you're the master of a long forgotten art."

"I did, didn't I?" Naruto laughed. "I call it called shatter point. Some ancient tribe believed that even the smallest action can cause ripples across the world. Legends say that a being appeared to them and rewarded them with the power to see points within the world. It gave them the power to shatter trees with a touch, cause revolts by saying the right words, and even see through time."

"Was that what you meant when you said you conquered time? After you saved me?"

"Yip." He smiled. "At least, that's what I think what happened. It only happened because I drank some weird concoction made by a snake."

Haku giggled half-heartedly. "To think you would have a power like that."

"It's not a power, it's a mindset."

She gave him a look. "I saw you literally make people's mind explode by smacking them across the head."

A pause.

"I didn't have Mary transfer you the money, Naruto." She confessed.

"Can't say I'm surprised," Naruto admitted. "If I had a few more days, I wouldn't have come to you for help."

She pouted mockingly. "Really? I'm insulted"

"It's not my fault. You are among the most dangerous people in the world. You are a woman who believes that can change the world. And there is nothing more dangerous than a hero."

"Who taught you that? Your sensei?"

"No. I got it from a certain girl I know. She's very cynical about the world." He chuckled. "Tell me, what makes your idea to 'save the world' any different?"

"I believe money could have the world. Money can solve anything...I don't think it's different. I don't think it's even right. But I believe it will do something. That is why I gave the money to Tsunami, the bridge builder's daughter. I met her a few days after Zabuza and I first came here. She knew her stuff. She knew how to deal with money. I thought that if anyone could save the Wave, Tsunami could."

"Oh...I knew I forgot something." He groaned. "Sorry Haku, but they're dead. Goto sent bandits to kill them. I would have saved them, but I didn't know where they lived. That, and I was going to save you..."

"...So it was all for nothing." She said bitterly. "Why do I even bother?"

Naruto stood up and held out his hand. "Come with me, Haku. I will give you a reason to live."

"Can you?" Naruto didn't answer. He silent stood and waited for Haku's answer for this was her decision. And she had made it. Standing up she went up and tore the spear Zabuza was holding away. She took of Goto's head with her feet and held it up to Naruto. "This spear is mine."

The spear was damaged, Naruto noted. He didn't argue, though.

Haku created a bridge of ice to connect the mainland with the bridge so they could cross. When they looked to the Wave, black smoke rose high. Though the morning mist had gone, it was replaced with the red mist of blood and fire. Three days ago, Naruto arrived at a poor neglected country. He left that same country in flames, destined to fall into the very ruins he loved to explore in the past.

"We'll have to stop by the nearest town. I need to get my equipment." Naruto said.

"Sure."

"Say, what's Mary's full name?"

"Why do you ask?"

"Cause I have a sudden need to cram in some dark humor to end this scene."

"Her name is Mary Sue."

Naruto stopped dead in his track. "...Wait. Life of wealth only for it to be taken down by a rich asshole, death of a loved one and basically everyone in the village..." He shrugged. "Ehh, I'm sure things will work out just fine."

"...I have a feeling that this whole story arc leads up to that joke. And the delivery was shit."

"Yes, it was Haku. Yes, it was."

* * *

Naruto's eyes opened when the night was at its darkest. He got up and moved around the camp as swiftly as a ghost. He left the camp, leaving Haku to sleep alone. Naruto didn't move very far from the camp, only going so far to reach the hollow trunk of an ancient tree.

To anyone not in touch with the power of Senjutsu, the old tree looked dead; its leaves have already fallen and its trunk now victim to fungal and parasital life forms. But to Naruto, the tree was as alive as it was in its prime. Naruto found it particularly ironic how people such as that blasted snake cling onto life. They believe death is a bad thing when in fact life is the one that corrupts the world with its insufferable chakra.

Humans, Kunoichi, in particular, were but poor victims of life.

"You," Naruto spoke to the darkness, "I know it was you. You were the one that saved me when Haku poisoned me... That was the first time you acted on your own before...and you saved me." Naruto's eyes started to change into colors that should not exist in the natural world. "I took...No. You gave me my powers without so much of a word. Every time I summon you, you refuse to take my soul. You've done all this stuff for me and now I need to know why."

 _Why?_

That word appeared in Naruto's mind but even then, it was not a word. The invisible being Naruto was speaking to communicated through the mind rather than voice, through concepts rather than words.

The milky white translucent being rose out from the trunk of the tree, clicking its throat in a neverending death rattle. The being sat there in the tree, its throne of rot and maggots. The world silenced itself at the being's presence. Though ghastly looking, and smelled of vinegar and pure alcohol, it felt neither good nor evil. It felt whole.

Naruto glared coolly at it, ignoring the burning white light the seal in his stomach made.

"What are you planning for me?"


	5. Chapter 5

**Reader: So why did it take you two months to write another chapter?**

 **Me: life is a bitch**

* * *

"You can quit if you want, Sakura." Her sensei had said from her bed as she cleaned the bloody smear that was the bridge builders family. "I would understand."

It pained her, hearing Kakashi recall everything that had happened during the disastrous mission. Two dead genins, one nation consumed in a civil war, a mysterious fortune that was found in the account of a dead woman. Worst of all, it was all team 7's fault. They had continued a mission when it became known that the bridge builder had lied about the details. They should have turned back and they paid the price.

What allowed them to keep their jobs was the scrolls Kakashi had nicked from the blond man she admired; Naruto. Sakura didn't know the importance of the scrolls, as Kakashi had guarded them like a dog, but the mention of who they came from got a good reaction out of the council.

When they left the Hokage tower, after they had been debriefed, Kakashi took her to the Memorial stone straight away. Once there, Kakashi gave Sakura a Kunai and pointed at the stone.

Sakura took time before she realized what her sensei was asking her to do.

"Me?"

"Tradition," Kakashi said flatly. She went up to the stone and brushed her fingers along some of the names. "When my team died, one by one I had to write their names on this stone. Now it's your turn."

"But-"

"You'll get used to it in time. Quickly now. I'll wait right here." Kakashi sat on the steps of the memorial.

The candy haired girl gripped her Kunai hard and went up to her stone. The process was slow not because of the number of curves inherent to the language, but because Sakura didn't have the heart. Her teammates were young. They were not as young as the children used during the Kunoichi world wars but dying at the age of sixteen was hardly an improvement from the old age of six. All girls entering the Academy knew on some level that they would die in combat, and all thought that they would make a name for themselves before that time came.

She, of all people, knew that.

Sakura dropped the kunai as soon as it was done and walked away. Kakashi remained seated as her last student walked past her.

"I lost my team too, Sakura." She said. "Like you, I had to carve their name into this stone. Only my sensei, the current Hokage Minato Namikaze, was left. She gave me a choice. If I stayed, if I continued to be a Kunoichi she would train me to be the best of them all. So no one else will die under my command. It worked up until now. I'm an A-rank Jonnin that failed a C-rank mission." Kakashi laughed solemnly. "I offer you that same choice, Sakura."

Sakura stopped walking. "I'm not going to give up Kakashi-sensei. Not after what happened in the Wave."

"You're not thinking properly, Sakura. This might be your only chance to leave this life before-"

"Before I die?" Sakura scoffed. "I'm dead either way."

"...I'm sorry, I forgot"

"It's okay, Kakashi-sensei. I signed up for this, I will see it through to the end." She continued walking off. "See you tomorrow, Sensei."

 _'Maybe.'_ She thought _'with them dead, I can become strong. Maybe as strong as you, Naruto."_

* * *

 **Who is that butler?**

* * *

"Welcome to Yakiniku! Would you like to show me to your table?"

Shikamaru groaned at the loud noise. She plugged her ears. "No thank you. We'll just take the nearest one to the door. It'll be less troublesome when we leave."

Choji gasped. "Shikamaru-chan! That's blasphemy! When going to a restaurant you should always sit dead center in the store. That way all the smells surround you in a world of meaty goodness!"

"Shut up, Choji! You're making a scene!" Ino looked apologetically to the store owner. "Sorry for my...teammates. They can act very stupid sometimes."

"You asked for this." Shikamaru yawned. She brushed aside her lazily cut hair so they'd block out the light. "You're the one who dragged as around Konoha for some 'team bonding'."

"If I hadn't come along, you'd be still sleeping in that ditch I found you in."

"It was a comfortable ditch."

Choji's stomach started to growl. "Can we pick a seat, girls? I'm hungry."

Ino sighed. "Why did we come here in the first place? The crape store down the road is much tastier and healthy."

"Still afraid you'd get fat, Ino?"

"Shut up Shikamaru." Ino jabbed Shikamaru's skinny, bordering on unhealthy, body. "It's easy for you to say. You have a body girls would die for. Heck, if you had bigger boobs, you'd have the perfect body. How the hell are you so skinny anyway?"

"Too troublesome to eat."

"Why am I not surprised..."

"Girls?" Choji said. She sounded surprised, scared almost. Shikamaru and Ino looked over her shoulder as saw Sakura in the very corner of the room and most secluded place. Ino, upon seeing her old friend, looked horrified at the sight of her stuffing her face in with copious amounts of meat and rice. Shikamaru couldn't bring herself to care. "What's wrong with her?"

"What's wrong? She's throwing away all those years of hard work, that's what's wrong!"

In a rare moment of effort, Shikamaru grabbed Ino's shoulder before she could move. She gave Ino a visual warning with her eyes and she shook her head.

"Don't," Shikamaru scolded. "Didn't you hear the news?"

Her two teammates looked confused. Choji asked, "What news?"

"Figures you didn't know." Shikamaru frowned and shook her head. "Team 7 went out on their first C-rank missions earlier this month. No genin team has taken a C-rank mission so soon after their graduation since the last Kunoichi world war."

"They got a C-rank mission?" Ino started to laugh. "As expected of the top Kunoichi of the year."

"Wow." Choji awed. "That's so cool. Not even we're allowed to take C-ranks yet." Her eyes started to sparkle. "We should go congratulate them with a party!"

"About that." Shikamaru looked down at her feet. "Their mission went bad quickly. Sakura's team had to fight another A-rank Kunoichi and a swarm of bandits... Mika and Kaguya are dead. Only Sakura and her sensei survived."

Both Choji and Ino's mouths hung open. Team 7 had been made up of three of the best Kunoichi of their generation. Even Kaguya, the dead last, had taijutsu skills rivaling their chunin sensei back in the academy. They were thought to be the next Sannin, the next in line of the prestigious name of 'Team 7'. That, and knowing how they trained together for most of their lives, shocked them.

"They're dead?!" Ino suddenly became hushed. "Oh, my god. They're dead?! Mika is dead?!" Shikamaru winced. Perhaps she shouldn't have kept the news to herself. "Why didn't you tell us?"

"Asuma-sensei told me not to."

"Sensei knew too?" Ino looked disgusted at Shikamaru. Disgusted that they kept the pain of her best friend away from her. "I'm going to talk to Sakura."

"Didn't you hear me? I said, don't," Shikamaru said, grabbing onto her hand. "Asuma-sensei didn't what me to tell you for this reason." She shushed the blond prematurely when she was about to retort. "There's something wrong with her, Ino. The Hokage wants us to play it safe. Any wrong word would make her snap... It's important for this project not to fail."

Ino hesitated at the mention of their leader. Her face scrunched up and she glared at her teammate. "I'm going to help my friend. If you want to stop me then you're welcome to try."

"Baka." Shikamaru watched Ino approach Sakura with a frown. "The Hokage is going to kill me for this."

"Shikamaru-chan," Choji said. She clutched her now silent stomach. "I don't feel hungry anymore."

In a daze, she just walked out of the restaurant without a word. Shikamaru wanted to delay telling Choji the news. As expected, the gentle giant of a woman didn't take death very well.

Shikamaru's shoulders slumped. The world seemed to be getting more troublesome by the day.

For the first time in a while, Sakura ate meat.

She always heard of this barbecue place from that Akimichi girl from her old days in the academy. Barbeque was a new thing that she had never liked, with what all the fattening meat. It was popular for people who thought they 'deserved to let loose once and a while'. And as a teenage girl, she naturally didn't want to go anywhere near it. She would much rather spend her time at the ice cream store down the road. Their low-fat option was the holy grail for her.

She now cringed at that thought.

The academy tricked her. It fooled her that she lived the life of a typical teenage highschooler. The academy taught her how to read, how throw kunai and shuriken, how to use Jutsus, how to plan basic tactics, and how to fight hand-to-hand. But they didn't prepare her for the real world. They passed out optional homework, gave out treats and used slap-on-the-wrist discipline methods. They should have been organizing training drills, military exercises, and at the very least made the students bleed during spars. Instead, they treated them, treated her, like children.

In hindsight, she should have been training rather than painting her nails. She knew what she was getting into more than anyone else.

"Excuse me?" A nearby waitress leaned in front of her. "Would you like your bill, ma'am?"

Sakura burped and glared intensely at her now empty plates. "No, but I would like another plate of meat. Oh, and some more rice, please."

"More?" The waitress looked at the pile of empty plates by the customer's side. "Are you sure? You've been ordering nothing but meat since you got here."

"You got a problem with that?"

"N-No ma'am."

Sakura didn't look up from her eating when she heard someone sit in the beside her. By the smell, along with pure female instinct, she knew who was there. Ino was silent for a long while, long enough for Shikamaru to take a seat opposite her and Sakura. There was not much to say. No amounts of 'I'm sorry' seemed appropriate. In Kunoichi villages, death, after all, was a battle often fought alone.

"Hi, Sakura," Ino said.

"Hello," Sakura said curtly before gobbling up the last remaining scraps of meat.

"I...We heard the news."

Sakura gave the lazy girl a look. "That includes me."

When Sakura reached out to an idle plate that had been forgotten Ino grasped Sakura's hand. "Sakura...I know you're hurting and-"

"Let me stop you there." Sakura twirled her hand around so she was grasping Ino's hands. "For the last week, I've been doing nothing but training and crying myself to sleep in the training grounds. I haven't bathed since the Wave and I haven't slept in my own bed in over a month. I'm not 'hurting'. Not annoyed."

Ino recoiled at the tone in Sakura's words. They were words that she had not heard in years. Words she had heard once coming out of a very young girl her age. Words she worked hard to get rid off. Even though she should have felt sad, among the first things she thought to herself were the words, ' _What a waste'_.

"Anger," Shikamaru said. "One of the five stages of grief."

Sakura paused from the cleaning of her plate and looked curiously at Shikamaru. "Since when did you know about the five stages of grief? In fact, when you know anything? I thought you struggled in school."

She got a shrug. "Too troublesome to excel."

Sakura laughed. Having being buried deep down the ability to feel happiness, to laugh, erupted at the first moments of human contact. Shikamaru was not fooled at her laugh. Sakura's happiness was a dry happiness, a form of dark humor.

Shikamaru tapped her fingers on the table. What sounded like a series of nonsensical taps from an uninterested girl was, in fact, the most complex form of morse code developed by Konoha and the first thing team 10 was taught.

 _'Something's off.'_ She said to Ino. _'She doesn't have PTSD'_

 _'She's fine. You don't know her.'_ She tapped back _'I do.'_

 _'Do you think Sakura would act like this after she watched two people die?'_

 _'...No.'_

 _'Did you know I can understand morse code too?'_

Sakura smiled at the two girls, this time, a much more strained one.

"I'm alright, girls. I really am."

"How can we be sure?" Ino shot a dirty look at Shikamaru.

"I had help." Sakura looked down, hiding what she must have thought to be an embarrassing face. The inquisitive look she got from the two girls made the pink haired teen buckle until she relented. "Let's just say that I had a special someone who helped me through all of it. He gave me a purpose."

Shikamaru didn't see it, but Ino did. The Nara's specialty was in logic and knowledge, but Ino's was in all things girly. Shikamaru's mouth dropped as soon as she heard Ino mutter the word 'love' under her breath and the tinge of red contrasted by the backdrop of pink. It frightened Shikamaru. What Ino saw was a love-struck woman. But to Shikamaru, the girl in front of her was someone who witnessed horrors indescribable, a horror she will no doubt experience soon, and emerged ignorant and intoxicated with the flabby genitals of a man.

"What's he like? What's his name?"

Sakura giggled. Perhaps too distracted by the prospect of love, Ino, being the only one able to pick up any irregularities, did not notice a habit act Sakura had adopted. Until then, Sakura had never giggled, never truly displayed levels of joy in her life.

Her smiled faulted for a second. "I don't actually know his name... But he's kind and has these strange whisker-like marks on his cheeks. I watched him when he-"

Shikamaru groaned and blocked her ears from what she considered as nonsensible rambling. By the time they stopped giggling amongst themselves, it became clear that someone was listening in on them. And by apparent, I mean there was a bun-haired girl standing right next to their table with a sickly happy smile on her face.

"Hello, there! I see you're mourning the death of background characters." She greeted. "Do you have a minute to talk about the word of Chaos undivided?"

"Eh?"

"Excellent!" She cheered. The girl pushed Shikamaru aside and sat in front of Sakura and Ino with a book. The book was black, as it should be, and had a metallic eight-pointed star on it. The book itself howled and moaned and Shikamaru swore that if she looked closely enough she could see screaming faces on its leathery exterior squirm.

"E-Excuse me!" Ino growled. "We were just having a conversation here!"

"Oh?" The bun-haired girl frowned. "Are you perhaps, a disbeliever? Are you so nice to kick me out when I carry the divine word of our gods?"

Ino shrank back into her seat. "...No."

"Good!" She coughed in her hands. "My name is Tenten! And no, I have no last name because I was a background character. But It was only a few months ago that I discovered that all our world is a lie. We are a fucking fanfiction!"

"What's a fanfiction?"

"Shut up! Anyway, what I was saying before I was rudely interrupted was that we are in a fanfiction; our lives plan and written by a tyrannical author who has no qualms killing us all. Just the other day he killed Zabuza and a shit ton of people in the Wave!" Sakura sighed as she remembered the Wave. What Ino mistook for a traumatic flashback was something else entirely.

"And it's not even a good fanfiction in the first place. But I've gained the ability to see through all of it! During my time I wasn't on screen, I explored the vast reaches of what the author knows as the 'internet'. And I have discovered this! The unholy book of chaos!"

"That doesn't sound nice at all." Shikamaru yawned at the preacher.

"You're one to speak!" Tenten screeched. "I know you, Shikamaru. I've seen the canon Shikamaru. You're so smart that you must be blessed by Tzeentch, the Chaos God of Change, Evolution, Intrigue and Sorcery!"

The lazy girl sighed. "Look, I have nothing against you religious folk but can you please leave. Our friend here is hurting."

"Hurting? Hurting! By the manly shemale tits of Slaanesh, that's a good thing!" She grinned savagely at the pink-haired girl. "So you must be a worshiper of Slaanesh. But you're doing it all wrong!" Tenten stood up on the table wielding a giant red spiky chain axe. "Come, I will show you true ecstasy!"

Ino dove in between the battle axe and Sakura when Tenten swang. Shikamaru was not fast enough to stop the blade from coming down. It looked as though these were going the be the last moments of Ino's life.

Until the axe shattered into a million pieces.

"What?! How?!" Tenten shouted. "That was a sure hit! Why did it shatter!...Unless..." Tenten recoiled from the three Kunoichi in fear. "It can't be. It can't be! Are you crazy author?! How could you do this?!"

A waitress came over and asked. The name tag she was wearing, which the author decided to needlessly go into detail about, said 'Hello! My name is Exposition-Chan' "What's wrong, ma'am?"

Tenten sent Exposition-chan flying and pointed at the girls. "My one weakness! You wield the indestructible-"

" **PLOT ARMOUR! THE MIGHTY ARMOUR OF THE ULTRAMARINES!** " Came a booming voice. Holy light shone down from the skies as the dimensions between worlds were ripped apart. From Holy Terra itself, stepped forward a giant gold man flanked by equally awesome, and probably gay, naked bodyguards with the skin of pure bronze.

"The God Emperor of Mankind...The Corpse Emperor of the Imperium?! The false god of a billion worlds?!" Tenten paled in fear. "Not only plot armor, but deus ex machina too?! Author, how could you?!"

 **"YOU'RE TIME HAS COME TO AN END, FIEND OF CHAOS!"** The Emperor decreed.

"No..." Tenten clenched her fist. "I will not cower in front of a false god such as you! For I have the Chaos gods, the true gods on my side!" Tenten summoned a great daemon sword from the depths of the warp with a click of a finger and she stood her ground in the face of the living God of Man and his greatest golden warriors.

 **"BRAVE, BUT FUTILE."** The Emperor grinned. **"ADEPTUS CUSTODES, CHARGE!"**

Tenten ran forward with a mighty battle cry towards certain doom. "BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD! SKULLS FOR THE SKULLTHRONE! CORN FOR THE KHORNE FLAKES!"

"Sorry about my teammate. The Author doesn't realize no one will understand the reference." Said a girl who emerged from the booth beside them. She was a Hyuuga. Her eyes were identical, if not sharper than the eyes of Hinata Hyuuga, the current heiress of the Hyuuga clan. Her face was fairly neutral, betraying no emotion. From just a look, she seemed like a far cry from the kind Hyuuga they knew of.

"Say, did you say something about a man with whisker marks on his cheeks?"

Sakura nodded. "Yea. Naruto Uzumaki. Do you know him?"

"I do." The Hyuga blushed oh so slightly, making Shikamaru want to groan harder than she ever wanted to groan before. "My team and I, before she became batshit insane-" She pointed to Tenten who was doing battle with the Emperor with an inflated sword. "-we went to the mansion of Satsuki Uchiha. Naruto is the Uchiha's head butler."

"Satsuki Uchiha?" Shikamaru perked up. "You mean the youngest billionaire in the world, Uchiha? The one that owns the monopoly of wood, Uchiha? The one the civilian council has a huge boner for, Uchiha?"

"Civilian council?"

"Mom complains about them a lot."

"Wow~" Sakura sighed blissfully. "So he's a butler too?"

The Hyuga raised her eyebrow. "Naruto was charming but he wasn't that cool. Where did you meet him? What did he do?"

"At the Wave. He killed a hundred bandits."

"Impossible." Shikamaru snorted. "A Kunoichi sure, but a man can't kill a hundred bandits."

"He did! I counted! He killed all of them by exploding them!"Sakura protested. The pink-haired girl looked that the Hyuga. "You met him right? What did you think of him?"

"Handsome." Everyone jerked back when they heard the Hyuga, someone who came from a clan of iron-hearted women, _purr._ "But now that you mentioned it...he was _too_ perfect." She paused. "We went to the Uchiha's mansion to eliminate a group of bandits hiding in the mountains. The next day, they tried to raid her wood yards but... Just recently I heard scouts that were near the Uchiha mansion at the time reported that the bandit camp was raised to the ground. There was nothing, but pools of blood and piles of skeletons left. They described it as if they just exploded from the inside..."

"You're not taking this seriously are you?" Ino deadpanned. "It's impossible for men to have chakra."

"Ino's right," Shikamaru said. "What we're doing now is just speculation. There might be nothing special about this Naruto Uzumaki."

"Hey, girls." They all turned to the bar where Tenten spoke. She and the Emperor were seeing who could make the biggest pyramid out of their shot drinks. The Emporer was winning by about 50. "I don't think the Author can handle these many people in this one scene."

"I have no idea what you just said but I think it's a good point." Sakura stood. "I'm going home."

Sakura was stopped when Ino grabbed her wrists. "Are you sure you want to go home? You can sleep over at my place if you want. Mom won't mind."

"It's alright, Ino."

Silence.

"...Welp this place got boring." Tenten glomped to the all powerful God-Emperor of mankind. "Let's get out of here, babe."

 **"LET US COMMENCE COITUS!"** He declared. He then proceeded to pick Tenten up into the bridal position, inciting a perverse giggle, and carried her into the golden sunset.

"Praise the Emperor~~~~~"

And that was the story of how Tenten of laid by a 14-foot golden man.

* * *

Haku smiled brightly.

When Satsuki swallowed the hot fresh fish the smile became, even more, brighter. The Uchiha scanned her teeth for any sign of bone or globs of unbroken seasoning. Then she froze. Haku's smile by now was wider than anything biologically possible. The silent euphoria continued until Satsuki brought a glass of red wine made from the finest batch of sour grapes during the first Kunoichi war.

"That was brilliant." Satsuki clapped and praised. "That was a wonderful meal Haku-san. I knew it was a good choice to hire you."

Haku gawked at the petite Uchiha but brought herself to yield. Through grinding teeth, Haku said, "My pleasure Uchiha-sama."

"Delightful." Satsuki waved. "You may continue with your duties, Haku-san." Satsuki went back to her meal, blissfully listening to Haku's utterance of curses under her breath. She giggled into the glass of wine when the door shut closed. "Silly girl~. Only a fool wouldn't recognize the smell of a canal herb cooking in her own kitchen. Few know of how undetectable it is when you cook it and even fewer still know of the cure. How unfortunate she met me~."

As she was about to take another sip of her now favorite wine of the month, her seat buckled. Sighing, she took her fork and jabbed at her seat.

"How's the weather down there, Naruto?~"

"Why did you hire her in the first place?" Was the first thing he groaned. "I only brought her here because I thought you wouldn't hire her, being as cheap as you are."

Satsuki shrugged. "She's a much better servant than you."

"She tried to kill you when you first met."

"She makes really good sushi."

"She killed all the Koi in your garden."

"It was _really_ good sushi."

"...Satsuki?"

"Hmm?"

"Go fuck yourself."

"Right back at 'cha dope."

Haku threw her tray away as soon as she entered the kitchen and cursed loudly. The other maids in the kitchen, all of whom were much older than her, ignored her for the most part, sparing only an amused look every now and then.

Haku glared at the maids. They looked all innocent, with what all that joyous cooking and whistling tunes. After many poisoning, stabbing and straight up charging attempts she made on Satsuki no one worked to stop her. In fact, they laughed at her behind her back. Slaves. Arrogant slaves, all of them.

"God damn rich people!"

"What'cha doing new girl?"

It was that woman. The head maid with a maid outfit more frilly than the rest.

"What do you want?"

Kurotsuchi raised her eyebrow at Haku's venomous tone. "You do realize I'm your boss, right? You should try to fix that attitude of your's before you make a habit of it. It's unbecoming of a cute girl like you."

Haku just grumbled.

As Haku fiddled with the hem of her new fancy maid uniform, Kurotsuchi tilted her head to the side at the words laced with liquid sarcasm. When Naruto first brought the broken girl to the mansion she was docile and unresponsive. When she came out of her unexplained depression was when the assassination attempts began. At first, it was enraging. But since they were Kunoichi they were used to it and as time went on Haku became the official pet of the Uchiha mansion.

"Why did you take this job when you don't like it?"

Haku's face twisted into one that was of anger. "Naruto-san told me I could work with him. He never told me I'd be working for a rich person."

"...You do realize that Naruto's a butler, right?" Kurotsuchi shook her head and sighed. "Never mind about that. How are you finding your job? Are you actually doing the work I'm giving you?"

"...Yes, I am." Haku stroked the fabric of her uniform. "I'm not used to wearing clothes this..."

"Baggy?" Kurotsuchi laughed. "I know how you feel. That's why I sliced the sleeves off and my skirt in half."

"No, it's not that. This clothing is so... new, clean, _expensive_. I'm used to having at least 3 jobs at a time and living off the land. Now I have good food and a warm bed."

"And you still want to kill Satsuki?"

Haku blushed. "Force of habit."

"I don't know. You seemed pretty dedicated. You _almost_ got her this time." She chuckled. Out of her bra, Kurotsuchi brought out a slip of paper and handed it to Haku. "By the way, here's your first paycheck. To think that it's already been a week. Oh, how time flies."

"Paycheck?" Haku looked at the paper. Her eyes promptly bulged out of their sockets. "S-So many zeros!"

"...Eh?" Kurotsuchi looked over Haku's shoulder. "100 yen...That's not even enough to buy a full meal."

"You're wrong!" Haku's eyes sparkled. "You can buy 3 whole instant ramen packets with this money! Add a bit of herb from the garden, some meat from the animals around the forest and I could eat well for a week!"

"Wait, are you the one who's been digging up our the garden?"

"Sorry, Kurotsuchi-san but I'm going to go shopping!"

"H-Hey! Get back here!"

When Kurotsuchi caught up with the newest maid of the Uchiha estate she was standing still, peaking around the corner at the end of a long hallway. Haku shushed her when she came close. Curious, Kurotsuchi looked over Haku's shoulder, down the hallway lit brightly by the late morning sun.

"Come on, Naruto. It was just a joke~" Satsuki banged her fists into the sturdy door.

"You were sitting on me for 5 FUCKING hours! Dattebayo!" There was a loud bang behind the door. "Damn it, I thought I got rid of that stupid habit!"

"Didn't I tell you to stop banging your head on my walls? Besides, I think your verbal tic is cute~"

"Don't talk. I'm still mad at you."

Kurotsuchi sighed. Only Naruto could lock Satsuki out of a room in her own mansion. Or at least he's the only one to get away with it without being set on fire. Seeing Satsuki pout childishly at the door, a wooden door that she could break down easily, was a very rare thing. It was a side of her reserved exclusively for the whiskered butler.

Beneath her, as Haku was a shorter, younger girl, Haku growled. Kurotsuchi gave her a look to which she looked away.

"What's wrong?"

Haku shot a look at Satsuki one last time before she drew back around the corner. "It's nothing."

Kurotsuchi put her hands on her hips. "I might not be in touch with my girly side but I know that when girls say nothing's wrong, everything is wrong." Haku didn't say anything. Kurotsuchi rubbed her forehead. "Look, I'm your boss. Your problems become my problems whether you like it or not. So you either tell me what's wrong or I'll be forced to pull rank."

"...It's Naruto."

"Ah." Kurotsuchi threw her hands up in the air. "Of course. If I had a yen for every time someone has a problem with him. Mostly about getting him to 'service' the maids." She whispered the last part, naturally. "So what did he do? Did he touch you? If so, don't let the other maids know. They'll come at you like a pack of dogs."

Haku shook her head. "It's not like that. It's just... he reminds me of myself." She leaned against the wall, under a whispering candle and a rusting steel blade. "I followed Zabuza-sama because she saved me."

"Zabuza... I think Naruto mentioned something about Zabuza. I'm sorry for your loss."

"Thank you. But you don't have to." It was a solemn smile Haku had. "I believed that she was my precious person... but when she died, I felt nothing."

"Isn't that a good thing?"

"No, it's not." Haku's head went back and came to rest on the smooth red walls. "I thought that Zabuza-sama was my everything. I would have died for her if she asked me to. But when Zabuza-sama died, and I felt _relief_...it shocked me. It was like realizing my whole world was wrong." She smiled. "I think I hate Naruto-san. If he didn't come along, I wouldn't have known. I would have carried on with my life with Zabuza-sama without ever knowing how I really felt."

"Ignorance is bliss." Kurotsuchi sat beside her. "But you don't hate him. If you did, you wouldn't have followed him here."

Kurotsuchi looked up at Haku and her deathly still hands. The woman, hailing from the rock, born of fire and lava held onto the girl from the wave, who's hands were as frozen as the power she wielded.

"The only thing Naruto told me about you when we hired you is that you're lost. You don't know anything anymore. You're right when you say Naruto was like your younger self. He is loyal to Satsuki as you were to Zabuza. And I think he's afraid that he'll end up like you. That he'll be lost like you are right now. By bringing you here, he wants to see if he can ever move on from Satsuki."

Kurotsuchi's hand was scolding hot. Both her hand and Kurotsuchi's were slender and rough from their use as weapons. Still, Haku wondered how the woman from Iwa had managed to warm her insides that had once used the icy cold winds of the outdoors as blankets.

Haku drew her hands away. "I don't believe you. From what I've seen, Naruto-san and Satsuki-san are friends. They have something that I and Zabuza didn't have. Love."

"That's what I think as well. But Naruto doesn't think that way." Kurotsuchi shrugged. A sudden grin crept onto her face. "How about we spy on the then?"

"Huh?"

The grin on her face grew wider. "The only way to stop hating something someone is to get to know them. Maybe if we spy on him you'll think better of him."

 _'And maybe I might find out why Satsuki likes the guy'_ Kurotsuchi thought.

Haku debated the idea with herself. If she were honest, she would have admitted that she didn't care enough to spy on him. Seeing as how he changed her life, for the better or worst is still unclear, and watching him act as the object of a certain Uchiha's amusement was fine by her. She didn't need to know anything more about him. Still, she could hardly refuse Kurotsuchi. Her pink eyes had an effect on her.

"Sure, why not?"

* * *

"Are you afraid?"

Satsuki gave him a begging look, one of a frightened small animal. She whispered harshly, "Don't make me do this Naruto."

Naruto's hands held onto her hips, his body close to hers. He whispered deeply into her ears, "This is your punishment for before."

"N-Naruto! We can't! We're too young!"

"And?" Naruto face became cocky. "We've explored ruins before Satsuki. We've seen things no adult has ever seen. Why can't we do this?"

"W-Will it hurt?"

"Don't worry. Just hold on to me."

Satsuki closed her eyes and reached out her hand to grab the head. She pulled back but Naruto's hand found its way around hers. "Naruto, you're being rough."

"Don't worry," he whispered into her ear, "We'll do it together."

Satsuki looked up at him, her eyes now sparkling with confidence at his smooth words.

And then there was a loud bang. Naruto and Satsuki scrambled away as the heavy door was thrown open by a large hairy ape-like man. He threw his tin mug of beer at the retreating teens and shouted curses in every direction. "Come back here you kids!" He raged. "I hate knocking noises! I also hate going outside . . . and going inside! I shall stand in the door frame. I hate it slightly less."

Satsuki and Naruto came to rest in an alleyway in the center of town. Naruto and Satsuki clung to each other's shoulders as they laughed unrestrained. Above them, hiding within the shadows, Haku and Kurotsuchi both facepalmed.

"I used to think Satsuki-san was supposed to be some sort of genius and Naruto, a super secret spy. Now I think they are the most immature people I have ever met. "

"Get used to it. Alone, they're serious. Together, they're like kids." Kurotsuchi laughed. "Although, this is the first time I've seen them pull a prank together. That's usually Naruto's and Suiton's thing."

"...Suiton?"

Kurotsuchi rolled her eyes. "You'll meet her soon. She'd never stay away from Naruto for longer than necessary."

Haku, sick from a long day of watching childish pranks, withdrew herself away from the edge of the roof.

"Why do we have to wear our maid uniforms out here anyway?" Haku tugged on her modest skirt and white frills. "If we're going to spy on people we should wear something more..." She glanced at Kurotsuchi. Her boss was still looking over the edge of the roof, watching the two insufferable teens giggle together. Kurotsuchi had that look on her face again. A look of envy. Haku asked, "Do you have a thing for Naruto or something?"

"Not at all!" Kurotsuchi tore herself away from the edge and waved her hands in defense.

"Every time you look at those two, you always look...sad." Haku glanced over the ledge and saw Naruto and Satsuki gossiping about their latest acts of mischief. "They look happy."

"...Yea."

"So if it's not Naruto is it Satsuki?" Kurotsuchi choked on her spit. "Ah, ok then."

"You're not surprised?"

"Kurotsuchi-san, half of all Kunoichi are into that sort of thing. It's not surprising at all." Haku turned away with a blush on her cheek. "I also heard rumors about Iwa. About how all of the Kunoichi are encouraged to..."

Kurotsuchi blushed as well. That was one part of her childhood she really didn't want to remember. She may appreciate the charm of her own sex, but those Iwa kunoichis who didn't were pressured into it. It caused a lot of pent up frustration between her and her previous lovers, especially since her grandmother was the one who enacted the law in the first place.

"That's part of the reason why I don't flaunt my sexuality," Kurotsuchi admitted. "Most of the maids either already have partners, or they have it out for Naruto." She sighed and brushed her short hair aside. "I'm jealous of Naruto sometimes. He's the only one who Satsuki trusts will all her heart. He doesn't realize how lucky he is to have her smile like that."

"Ah, first world problems," Haku smiled apologetically when her boss glared at her. "I mean no harm. This is coming from someone who's never been in a relationship before." She glanced over the side of the roof. "By the way, they're gone."

"What?" Kurotsuchi shouted in frustration when she saw that the ally Satsuki and Naruto were in was now empty. The only living thing in the ally were bugs and two dogs sharing a plate of pasta. "Damn it! Where did they go?!"

"I might have an idea." Haku pointed to the road adjacent to the ally where bright lights shone. Maybe it was because they were to focused on other things, or maybe it was because the Author was too lazy to describe the setting, did Kurotsuchi and Haku didn't notice the festive parties going on so close to them.

"We're never going to find Satsuki and Naruto in this place." Kurotsuchi groaned as she looked down at the crowded streets. She looked to Haku and saw her in a daze. "Haku? Are you ok there?" Haku raised a shaky finger and pointed at a far away stall. It looked run down and no one was buying anything from them. Kurotsuchi had to squint to see the writing. "...Asparagus, 90% off."

"No, not asparagus." Haku started to cry. "The holy grail!"

"...Wow, Naruto wasn't kidding when he said you were cheap." She shook her head. "Look, don't buy that stuff. It's not in season and it's probably all rotten by now. How about we go to that Yakisoba stall over there. That looks good."

"Really?!" Haku clung to Kurotsuchi like a money with stars in her eyes. "Thank you Kurotsuchi-san!"

Kurotsuchi chuckled at the shorter girl's passion. Under her breath, she laughed "I still got it" while also doing a mini fist pump.

"We'll get the Yakisoba _after_ we visit the asparagus stall!"

* * *

"Those idiots really thought we wouldn't notice them?" Satsuki scoffed, tightening her grip. "Who do they think I am? A commoner."

"Watch it, Hime. You're Uchiha is showing." He laughed. "By the way, can you stop holding onto my arm? I've lost all feeling in it."

Satsuki looked at how she had latched onto Naruto's arm, her grip tight as a vice. She smirked up at her butler, raising her hand that was interlocked with his lip one. "Why should I? We look quite close don't we?"

Naruto fought down a groan, now awfully aware of the many blushed looks and whispers of 'lewd' from onlookers.

As the duo walked through the village festival, Satsuki still holding Naruto close, the families that had gathered all waved and sang songs of praise for the Uchiha. Naruto always lamented how religious they were to Satsuki. Satsuki's ego was already bloated as it is.

But it wasn't unfounded. Most simple jobs in the world were taken by slaves and in more civilized nations like the Land of Fire people were paid unlivable wages - but not by much in Naruto's opinion. Common villages could not possibly keep up with the cheap goods made by cheap labor.

However, three years after he and Satsuki entered the wood industry and had a stable business, Satsuki implemented what all but the idealist would believe to be radical. She offered money to her workers. Enough money to afford a whole chicken at least once a month, to all workers no less. Money, security, a life of relative wealth when compared with slaves.

What started as a way to put the massive amount of profit raked up from the Wooden Dynasty's first years in operation to good use turned into a new way to do business. Suddenly, the slaves of other rival wood cutting businesses could not keep up with Satsuki's workforce - the strong well-fed men and women who were dedicated to their craft. It was a small advantage she had over the other businesses but it was the start of something great.

"I can't believe you actually did it," Naruto mumbled, looking to the bright streets lit by a ludicrous amount of lanterns. "I never thought you, out of all people, would _willingly_ give more money to your workers. These people actually think you're _nice_."

"I am nice. Just not to you." She giggled. Naruto rolled his eyes. "What? Are you still angry about me not paying you?"

"..."

"Ok fine then. I've had my fun." Satsuki sighed. "Where's the nearest ramen stall? It's a festival so there should be a few around."

Naruto hesitated. "You don't need to do that Satsuki. Don't waste your money on me. As long as you're happy, I'm happy."

"...Really, now?" Satsuki deadpanned. "Ever since you met that Haku girl you wanted to get me to buy you ramen but you never had the guts to ask. Am I right?" She didn't wait for an answer. "Naruto, I've known you since we were both six. That's ten years! I know you just as well you know me."

Naruto smiled. "I love you sometimes Satsuki."

"As you should."

Instead of going to a ramen stall Naruto suggested they go to a new ramen restaurant. The place was nearly full and too warm to be considered comfortable. Passing the number of patrons who again praised Satsuki, they sat at the far end of the counter where a gruff old man worked on his broth. When his eyes laid on Satsuki his face brightened.

"My lord!" He bowed. "It's an honor to have you in my store. What can I do for you?"

Satsuki smiled gracefully but shook her head. "Uchiha is fine. I don't own this town so I'm not your lord."

"Understood Uchiha-sama." Satsuki looked pleased with what he called her while Naruto rolled his eyes. Sure, she might seem polite and pure but if there was one thing her closest friends knew was that 'Satsuki' and 'humble' did not belong in the same in the sentence.

Naruto and Satsuki placed their orders of miso ramen with various toppings. While they waited for their orders Satsuki ordered some sake. She sounded alien to Naruto as she debated the chief on what sake was best for ramen. In the end, she came away with a pleasant look on her face.

"Nice and savory...and oily. It goes down nicely," Satsuki licked her teeth in delight. "This is good sake."

"...Rich people." Naruto gulped down his drink.

Naruto and Satsuki never really talked with each other when they drank together. It was a somber tradition as they tasted the bite of alcohol and the invisible meaning they placed behind it. It was a tradition that made Satsuki, who enjoyed fine wine and whiskey, taste only bitter blackness. So when Satsuki started to giggle half way through the bottle, Naruto was surprised.

"What is it?" He asked.

"Nothing." She laughed. Satsuki dropped her glass and spilled it across the table. "I just remembered how I used to hate this stuff."

"I remember that. We both hated sake. I still do." Naruto chuckled. His smile wavered slightly as memories started pouring out. "You and sensei were always close. I wasn't surprised when you started drinking wine like water."

"I wasn't that bad was I?"

"You followed her like a puppy." Naruto laughed. "I remember when we first found you in Konoha. All you cared about was you sister and nothing else. I took us six years to get you like this."

"Don't act like you were any better. You were a depressed little brat with mommy issues." She held onto Naruto's hand that was on the table. They grinned at each other. Satsuki leaned on Naruto's shoulder as he refilled her glass. "I missed this." She sighed wistfully. "Playing pranks, eating ramen, insulting each other... it reminds me of the good old days."

Naruto nodded, "Before you became CEO."

Satsuki frowned, "I thought we agreed that this is what we have to do. It's a part of the plan."

"We did. It's just that... I feel like we never have time for each other anymore."

"...Naruto, you sound like a house husband."

Naruto bristled. With a free hand, he held Satsuki close, closer than what could be considered safe. "I miss you sometimes, Satsuki."

"Naruto, stop it. Dere doesn't suit you. But if it pleases you, I'll try to spend more time with you." Naruto nodded, hiding a sense of relief as a burden he never knew he had was lifted. Satsuki cupped her red cheeks and sighed. "I'm getting drunk. We should eat and go back home. Where is the ramen anyway?"

"It's right here." The chief pointed to the two lukewarm bowls of ramen on the counter. "You two were being too melodramatic to notice."

Satsuki eyed the now soggy, sloppy ramen. She poked at it. One. Twice. Thrice. She looked over at Naruto. He finished his bowl.

When their eyes met, he shrugged. "Free ramen is free ramen... You gonna finish that?"

* * *

It at times like these when Naruto was glad that his room was right next to Satsuki's. Guiding Satsuki to her room, as was his duty, happened more often than one might thing. At least that was how it used to be.

Back in the old days, Satsuki and Naruto worked together to achieve their grand plan. The plan was the goal they both strived for. But for a while now Satsuki had left the plan to Naruto while she focused on her business, her own little experiment. The time he spent with her was shrinking by the day. Once upon a time, he would never admit that he actually _cared_ for Satsuki. No doubt, he would have done something absurd like declaring her his rival. The thought disturbed and amused him.

"I'm gonna have a hangover tomorrow~" Satsuki hiccuped. She was tipsy with the way she walked but she still had enough awareness to kick any would-be harassers asses back to the forgotten ages. Not that she would, though. Watching her butler suffer was one of her favorite hobbies.

Having drunk little Naruto faired much better. As Satsuki threw her yukata away, which was done purely out of habit, Naruto started a fire in the marble open fireplace with a single flick of flint and iron.

"Thank you, Naruto," Satsuki said. Her words were slurred. "You've always been so kind."

"You're welcome."

From her place on the bed, Satsuki pouted. "No. I mean I'm _really_ grateful you're with me Naruto, even when I bully you. I don't know what I would do if you weren't here."

"Bully? Don't worry Satsuki, I think it's cute. You're like a Tsundere without the bitchiness." Naruto laughed. "Trust me, if you weren't cute then I would have left a long time ago. If you were a dude then I would hate your guts."

"You think I'm... cute?"

 _'Maybe,'_ At that moment Naruto thought, _'playing a joke on a drunk girl was a bad idea.'_

"Alright, time for bed." He spun around to face Satsuki. She was sitting at the end of the bed, legs folded and very, very naked. She was smirking at him. Naruto sighed as he walked up to her.

"So you think I'm cute?" She mocked. Satsuki folded her arms, purposefully under her small breasts.

"Yea, yea I think you're cute. Who doesn't?" He stopped right in front of her, his arms folded. "Time to sleep, Satsuki."

The Uchiha stood and looked up at the taller man with well-earned smugness.

"You think I'm cute~"

"Yes, now go to bed."

"You want to touch me don't you."

"Not as much as I want to sleep."

"If you want you can examine my body."

"You should have offered me that years ago before we hired the maids."

"Come on~. Look at me. You know you want to~"

"...That's it. You're going to bed." Naruto sighed and grabbed onto Satsuki's bare shoulders.

"No," She knocked his hands away. "Look at me Naruto."

"I am looking at you Satsuki. Now go to bed."

"Naruto," She said forcefully. "Look at me. I mean _really_ look at me. That's an order."

A breath was caught in Naruto's throat. Being so close he was looking down at her face. He was hesitant, fearful even, to look lower. But he couldn't deny his beloved master.

Her body was bare and up close to his so that they were barely touching. Naruto was about to say something along the lines of 'put something on, you'll get a cold' as he usually did but he didn't. Couldn't.

Being the age where she had just abandoned the adorableness of childhood, she looked small and cute not unlike the fanaticised teenage girls in recent media. But up-close, seeing her most intimate places, only Naruto could witness all her details the mainstream had deemed imperfections.

After years behind a desk and indulging in fine food and wine did not serve her well. Her small body hid her needless fat. Up close, one could see that she no gap in-between her legs, no visible sign of protruding ribs either. She was by no means fat but up-close, but her body revealed itself as nothing like the fetishized version most people would associate her with.

Still, she smirked, a confidence so mighty it bordered along arrogance.

Satsuki, the only survivor of the Uchiha's fall, was the most powerful woman in the world. She rightfully laughed in the face of those who would throw their eyes away in disgust at the sight of her imperfect body. She had the ears of daimyo fighting for her words, complete control of the world's wood supply and by extension, the fuel of the machine of war.

This girl, small in body yet large in character, was the unproclaimed lord of the world.

Naruto crawled on top of her, one of his knees planted in Satsuki's most protected and revealed place. With his hands, he grabbed her head hard and firm. Her arms were laying to the side, unmoving. She grinned up at him, taunting him, amused by Naruto's daring act. The look in her eyes, a lust for debauchery. She dared him to do it. To ravage her, to descend into a world of pleasure and sex.

And so, the first kiss was laid.

It tasted of saliva and an invisible bitterness.

And he could do anything if he wanted to. He could touch her body like a long time lover or he could destroy it with all manners of chains, whips, and steel. And Satsuki would let him, for even though Naruto, as powerful as he may be, had bathed in battlefield blood of foolish men it was unthinkable he would shed blood of a kunoichi.

There was a duality in play. After some time into the rigorous embrace of two lips Naruto started to become more aggressive. His tongue dug into Satsuki and their kissing soon started to resemble an angry molestation of Satsuki's mouth. He felt himself getting rougher and harder, and yet weaker and softer.

He was hurting her and yet she laid there passively, maybe even enjoying it.

Rougher and tougher he went and still the Uchiha had the gull to enjoy the kiss, to flaunt her power in front of him.

Had she the nerve to eat and sleep like an emperor?

Had she the nerve to drag him into this foolish plan of hers?!

HAD SHE THE NERVE TO LIVE LIFE WHEN SHE WAS THE ONE WHO KILLED HIS SENSEI?!

 **HAD SHE THE NERVE?!**

He was off her in an instant. Naruto stared in horror at his master, who was now in a blissful sleep. He scribbled away like a cockroach. Out the door and into his room he fled, never noticing the pair of eyes watching him from above.

* * *

"That asshole! He literally had one of the most influential, most beautiful women on the planet throw herself at him and he did nothing! The bastard doesn't know how lucky he is!"

Haku started dozing as Kurotsuchi threw lava around the back yard training field. It was a part of Kurotsuchi's responsibilizes to clean the fields as her lava based bloodline made her perfect for repairing the concrete grounds. Naturally, it was Haku's job to cool down the lava to make it hard and solid. Normally she wouldn't need to do it; Kurotsuchi managed fine before Haku was hired.

But considering Kurotsuchi was... a tad bit angry tonight, Haku felt it was safer for everyone if she stayed with her.

"To be fair, Uchiha-san was drunk." Haku yawned. She toppled over and fell asleep on a pile of logs.

Apparently, Haku snored.

"It doesn't matter!" Haku jolted awake just in time to dodge an incoming lava ball. Her eyes started to droop again. "If I were Naruto I would do such naughty things to her."

"Kurotsuchi-san," Haku began. "I think you might be sexually repressed."

"You think?" She snorted. "I haven't had sex since I left Iwa. My right hand has been at it so long that it's been getting these long aches."

"I _really_ didn't need to know that."

It was strange, though. Naruto truly did love Satsuki, at least that was what she believed. Haku saw Naruto as herself when she followed Zabuza. The parallels were so similar. Like how she would have died for Zabuza, so would he for Satsuki. And in all honesty, she would have gladly had sex with Zabuza if the missing-nin wanted her to, just like how Satsuki seemed to want it from the blond. Not that Haku swung that way but that is irrelevant.

Why, then, did Naruto stop? Out of loyalty, he would have followed through with it.

Both she and Naruto both would have followed them through thick and thin. They both would die for their masters. The only difference between Naruto and the Haku of the past is that Naruto actually loves his master. That and Zabuza gave Haku a reason to live.

...

Could it be?

Could it be that simple?

If that were true, then Naruto... It made sense, though. It explained how he could charge into a hoard of bandits with a smile on his face. It explained that hollow twinkle in his eyes that only Haku could see. And it also explained that flash she saw in his body as he was kissing Satsuki. A flash, an instant where Haku swore she saw another being entirely in the place of Naruto. That dark, dark thing that hated the Uchiha with a passion.

That thing, that made Naruto both the strongest and weakest man in the world.

Kurotsuchi was starting to worry for the smaller girl as she started to giggle at nothing.

"Are you ok, Haku? You look like you need some sleep."

"Yes, I agree," Haku said, suddenly invigorated enough to stand.

Kurotsuchi raised her eyebrow, something that she had noticed she was doing more often with Haku around. "You seem . . . happy."

"I am." Haku smiled and gave her boss a knowing look. "It's because I don't hate Naruto anymore. I pity him."

"What? Why's that?"

Haku turned to leave. Before she disappeared into the halls of fading candle lights, fiddling merrily with the frills of her uniform, Kurotsuchi heard her soft whisper only a Kunoichi would hear.

"Naruto is a free slave."

"...What?" Kurotsuchi blinked, "W-Wait?! Haku! What does that even mean?!"

* * *

A normal childhood was what she was promised when Sakura first met the Hokage, Minato Namikaze, on her first day at the Kunoichi academy.

She got exactly that.

Sakura, for the most part, enjoyed that time of her life. Even though she still may not understand how people can find plants and clothes beautiful it was amusing. Dare she say it was actually _fun._ Ino was the person she enjoyed the most because it was she who dragged her along the adventure of childhood. And she would forever regard this short time of her life as the greatest.

There was a wall just outside her house; the front door, a gateway into reality.

It bemused her how her home, an impossibly small and claustrophobic place, was the only place in the world that made any sense. Train, eat and sleep. Everything was the way it should be.

Sakura reached for the door but it opened on its own. Her mother stood under the door frame with a face of wrinkled iron. At the sight of her mother, Sakura stood tall and marched inside. Once inside, Sakura stood still, waiting for her mother. When the door latches clicked shut Sakura shut her eyes closed. She really hated this part.

Her vision and her hearing became twisted as the pink haired girl was brought down to her knees. Sakura's mother, a shrewd-looking woman even under what must be a hundred layer of makeup, twirled the metal bat in her unpracticed hands. The woman walked around the girl, who refused to raise her head from the floor.

This irked her.

"You returned a week ago." She said. "Why haven't you reported in K59?"

"I was training."

"You can train here." Obvious contempt laced her voice. "Answer me K59." She lowered the bat to rest on Sakura's head "Or do you want to get hit again?"

"...I needed to think."

She didn't see it but Sakura knew the face her mother must have been making. There was something about that unbridled hatred that Sakura enjoyed. Sakura's face was made to kiss the floor when the bat hit her head.

"It is not your role to _think_!" She drilled the metal bat into the back of Sakura's head like how one would put out a cigarette. "You are a weapon. You are a tool. You are supposed to listen and follow. We do this is for Konoha. For the greater good! Do you understand me?!"

"Yes, mother."

"Don't call me that? Haven't I taught you enough?" She spat. "Say it again. And do it right this time."

"Yes, Haruno-sama."

Haruno huffed, clearly not satisfied with something. Sakura picked herself up when Haruno walked away without a word, for it was often a sign for her to follow. Passing through a hallway filled with nothing but the patriotic symbol of Konoha, the leaf, they entered a basement that should not have been there, hidden a wall that parted like liquid. In the deep dark basement, Sakura took her seat at a desk while Haruno took out files upon files.

"Because your team is dead, I'll have to change my plan." Haruno sneered. "I thought that stupid sensei of yours would have at least protected you all until the time is right, but I was wrong. I should have known. That Kakashi comes from a family of failures." Haruno slammed the files in front of Sakura. Sakura's face was stone cold through all of her mother's rants. "You will memorize all this my tonight. Tomorrow, you will go to the training grounds and practice. We've done hardly any training because of the Academy, but now we have free time. We have a lot of catching up to do."

"Yes, Haruno-sama."

There was a sound of slithering as the various Fuinjutsus sealed the entrance to the basement closed. Sighing, Sakura lit a candle with a small fire Jutsu. The files she had been given was a stack of scrolls, each the word 'Demolition Jutsu' on them. Sakura sighed. The time was coming quickly. Soon, the world would change, and she would be the one to see it off.

Looking up she admired the wall that was illuminated by the red light of the candles. Pictures of landmarks, blueprints, weak points, targets, and intricate battle plans displayed on a comprehensive map of Konoha. Pinned to the wall, all glowed red as if consumed by the fire of the candle. At the very top, to Sakura's great sorrow, was the picture of Minato Namikaze, the candles' light nearly reaching her.

Sakura had to tear her eyes from the picture to focus on her work. Even though the words on the scrolls said otherwise, Sakura chanted with tearful speech:

"For Konoha,

For the greater good."

* * *

 **Omake**

Tenten was found a week later, comatose in her bed. When she woke up, the first thing she said was:

"'Emperor protects' my ass. I almost drowned in there." Cue perverse grin. "Totally worth it, though. Thanks, Author."

* * *

 **Author's note:**

 **I really think I need to explain my thought process for this chapter.**

 **Now, I am writing this fanfiction for two reasons. As a farewell to Naruto, as, no doubt, it will soon become just another thing in my childhood. And as a tribute to all the fanfiction, I have read while on this site. And as such, you must come into reading this fanfiction while keeping in mind all the joys you have gotten out of Naruto, be it fanfiction or the Anime/Manga.**

 **Now, I've read a lot of 'lemons' on this site. And honestly, most of the time, they are needless. Sex on this site is used as a way to show love, which is not a bad thing in and of itself.**

 **But, one thing I've noticed, is that no one's ever explored the idea of people not wanting to have sex in fear. Fear of commitment, fear of hurting someone, fear of hurting yourself.** **Sex is awkward. Sex is the highest commitment of love and trust.** **I'm not going to tell you why Naruto doesn't want to have sex with Satsuki. But hopefully, with what I just told you, you will understand Naruto just a little bit more.**

 **That's about it...**

 **Also, I truly hope you like Satsuki. I personly enjoy those prideful but not arrogant girls and I hope that came through well in my writing. And no, I don't mean Tsunderes. I hate those bitches. Satsuki, hopefully, is supposed to be that snarky girl we all know. The one that playfully brags about all the rewards she won just as much as she brags about all the rewards YOU won. The one that not only laughs at your dirty, inappropriate, and downright offensive jokes but the ones that make them with you.**

 **But that's just me.**


	6. Chapter 6

Naruto giggled as he fiddled around with a wad of notes.

Out of the hundreds of knickknacks they found in the collapsed ruins of Sharima, he, Satsuki, and Sensei actually managed to find something worth more than a few yen. Not only that, it was Naruto who found it instead of Satsuki so he got the money. After Sensei took her cut, naturally. Naruto didn't know what he was more happy about. The fact that he could buy some of his most beloved food, or that he found the rusted piece of metal before Satsuki did.

No doubt it was the latter.

"Yatta!" Naruto cheered. "Take that Satsuki-teme! Your stupid eyes are nothing compared to the awesomeness of Naruto Uzumaki!"

"Hey kid, shut up won't you?"

"Eh?"

Naruto was about to walk into the nearest ramen stall he could find but he saw an old woman sitting in front of the stall. The old wrinkly woman kneeling down in the middle of the street with a fishing rod in hand. The rain had been intense for the past few days so the street had swollen with muddy rain. There were no fish for the old woman to catch.

 _'Poor lady',_ Naruto thought. _'She's crazy.'_

Turning on his polite switch - something his Sensei made sure to drill into his head - Naruto asked, "Excuse me, old lady, what are you doing?"

"I'm fishing."

Naruto felt sorry for the old woman. He looked at the money in his hands. His sensei always told him to be kind and generous but as a kid just shy of a double-digit age, he struggled with the idea. Although, his Sensei had never been wrong before.

 _'What's the harm?'_ he had thought.

"Um, do you want to come inside? I'll buy you some ramen."

"Ohohoh, thank you very much." The old lady laughed strangely.

And so they entered the ramen stall together, each of them ordering a large bowl of ramen. Naruto winced a bit when he looked at his ramen, lamenting all the possible toppings he could have had if he just spent the money on himself. Beside him, the woman was slurping down the ramen, oblivious to Naruto.

"So . . . uh, you were fishing out there?" Naruto began. "How was it going?"

"Hmm? Oh, it's going well. Very, very well." The woman took a large gulp of ramen, meat and noodles going down like water, earning Naruto another wince.

"It was? How much did you catch today?"

"Ahahahaha." Jiraiya smiled, mouth covered in a thin layer of ramen broth. "You're the ninth."

* * *

 **End of the beginning of the end**

* * *

"You're such a virgin."

"That's good to know. Anyway, Wood production is up 19% since Goto's death while average employee satisfaction is down 20%. This is mostly coming from the coastal towns, as the civil war in the Wave gave birth to several fleets of pirates. They are requesting some protection. Once we account for that employee satisfaction remains at 92%. Still higher than the global average of 62%."

"Hmmm? I never knew how troublesome the people of the Wave can be. Funny how their war was caused by a massive virgin."

Naruto looked up from his report, unamused. "Seriously Hime, it's been a month and you're still teasing me about that night? Besides, aren't you a virgin too?"

"Not for lack of trying." Satsuki recoiled unto herself and woed like a helpless damsel. "Oh, how thy remember that night~. Thy is willing to give thine heart and body to thy beloved prince~. Alas, thee was an utmost virgin, for thee has cast away thy sacred cherry~. Dost thou think ill of thine breasts? Dost thou even hoist? Perhaps, thy shall finally fall to the fair maidens of thy estate~."

"Dost thou even...?!" Naruto's eye twitched. "Says the girl who's been skipped leg day for the past year!"

"Ohohohoho! You dare speak back to me, Naruto?" She grinned evilly, because how else would a Uchiha grin? "You need to be punished, and you just gave me a brilliant idea. Squat for me Naruto!"

". . .What?"

"I said squat! What's the point of being rich if you can't get other people to exercise _for_ you!"

"I don't think it works that way, Hime." Twack. "Ow! What the- Did you just whip me?!"

"Mush my slave~." Satsuki giggled as she cracked her whip. "Mush! Mush!"

". . . I fucking hate you, teme."

There was a knock at the door and the fun side of Satsuki and Naruto retreated at that moment. As normal, they would keep this side of their relationship separate from everyone else, reserving their private jests for when they were alone. Although some might say acting the way they do on the main balcony defeated the purpose of a private relationship.

"There's no one here," Naruto said upon opening the door. But when he turned around a wave of horror, frustration, and general 'fuck my life' vibes washed over him. Sitting across from Satsuki, Jiraiya the perverted Sannin was sipping tea that had no doubt been spiked before she arrived.

"Naruto," Said Satsuki. She was not happy. "care to explain?"

At that moment, Naruto didn't want to be alive anymore. To anyone outside of this little network of particular individuals, it would look as though Jiraiya, Satsuki, and Naruto had some sort of friendly relationship. This conclusion would be reasonable to reach; after all, Satsuki had not called her maids to destroy the Konoha Kunoichi on the spot like she had done to so many others. This conclusion was wrong.

These same non-existent observers would rightly assume though that the trio in this room had some sort of past; the exact nature of which can only be speculated upon. The past they shared was too complex, too intricate to be summed up in a few paragraphs. Never the less, Naruto happened to stumble the perfect word to describe this past.

"...Shit."

Satsuki closed her eyes. Her fingers twirled around the small spoon still in her cup of tea; the sound of the spoon skimming against the ceramic surface like a pendulum, counting the seconds it took for Satsuki to think. Then, her fingers stopped. She said it again, "Explain."

"Explain what?" Jiraiya's snicker cut through the air. "Do I need a reason to meet friends? I had so much fun last time I just wanted to come here and do it again!"

Satsuki growled. Naruto shuttered. The _last time_ was not fun. Naruto could never look at pomegranates the same again.

"Not you!" Satsuki caught herself. She closed her eyes again and breathed deeply. "Naruto, can you _please_ explain why a pervert is sitting across from me?"

"I'm not a pervert! I'm a SUPER PERV-"

"Another word out of you and I'll bring out the pomegranates again!"

"S-Suiton!" Naruto stuttered, louder than he intended. "I sent Suiton to-"

"SUITON!" The tea Satsuki was drinking was set alight. The tea was not boiling. The tea was on _fire_.

"Naruto," Jiraiya whispered, careful not to spark another fire. "How about you and that hot Iwa Kunoichi go organize a party for Suiton's return." It looked as though Naruto nodded, but in reality, he was shaking in fear. "Oh, and before you go, Satsuki here might need some alcohol. So if you don't mind..."

Naruto kept his mouth shut and walked with his head down to Satsuki's side. On his way there, he fetched a bottle of Sake. Even when Naruto started to replace the tea and biscuits with alcohol, the ever juvenile Jiraiya smiled at the little Uchiha in spite of the girl's darkening look.

"He grew up handsome," Jiraiya said as she watched Naruto scurry away, "as handsome as you are beautiful Satsuki. How long has it been since we last met face to face?"

"Six years ago. When we were ten." Satsuki rubbed her brow and muttered how she was going to teach a certain blond a 'lesson'.

"It's been six years and you still have that stick up you ass!" Jiraiya laughed. The woman held up her cup, "Come on, Satsuki, let's drink and talk. I want to know more about what you two rascals have been up to."

"Like you don't already know." The Uchiha mumbled. She poured herself a cup of Sake and leaned back. "Fine then, I'll entertain you. It's not like I have a choice in the matter."

"Hmmm, I guess Naruto did have an effect on you after all. A few years back you would've been throwing Jutsus at me by now." She held her hands up defensively when Satsuki glared harder. "So Minato told me a few weeks ago that she knows about Naruto being here with you. I was wondering if you let that slip or Konoha just happened to spot him here because I'm sure as hell it wasn't my spies who told Minato."

"A few Konoha Kunoichi came here a while ago and I made Naruto serve them." Satsuki paused. "Honestly, I was expecting Konoha to send Kunoichi demanding his head, or at least Kushina to come down to talk her son back. But since that day a few months ago, I've heard nothing from Konoha. No diplomats or anything."

"Don't worry about that. Minato wants to keep the news about Naruto being alive a secret. I think she sees this as a way for Naruto to have a normal life."

Satsuki eyes softened at the news. For the first time since the beginning of the conversation, she smiled. "That's good news. Even though Naruto won't care for it, it's good to know that Minato still loves him despite everything that has happened."

"That is true. Minato was never around for Naruto but even then, she still loves him. If only Naruto knew that." The Sannin leaned forward, "Still, you actually let Konoha find out about him? That's interesting. But why, though? Didn't you hear about the bounty on his head?"

"I know of the bounty. But I don't care about it and neither does Naruto. Besides, there are much more pressing things than a bunch of assassins." Satsuki laid down her cup, now devoid of any Sake. At the same time, Jiraiya finished her drink and brought out a scroll from her pocket. Satsuki eyed the scroll. "So are you going to tell me what's this visit all about or do I have to pry it out of you?"

Jiraiya smirked as she twirled the scroll in the palm of her hand. "It's funny. You two always seem to run into powerful people."

"You're talking about Suiton?"

"I am." Jiraiya chuckled. "I didn't even know that a Suiton was chosen so soon after the other one's death. And she's so young as well. How did you get her to follow you?"

"It wasn't me. It was Naruto." At the sound of Suiton's name, Satsuki groaned. "Honestly. I should have known this would happen when I sent Suiton to the Land of Rain. Naruto cares too much for that girl."

Jiraiya chuckled, "So you _didn't_ send her to me? That's a shame. I thought you were beginning to miss me."

"No. I sent her to infiltrate the Land of Rain to get information on this new group of S-rank missing-nin." Satsuki folded her arms. "But I guess you already know that."

Jiraiya nodded. "Suiton came to my spy asking for information on the Akatsuki. I happened to be in the area at the time so I thought I would have a little chat with her." The old Sannin's eyes reflected a seriousness that seemed at odds with her normal, skirt chasing demeanor. In these rare moments, it became apparent to Satsuki that she was sitting across the spy master of Konoha. "You know, a part of me wants to believe that you're taking an interest in them because they have the power to threaten this grand plan of yours. But that's not the reason is it?"

"That is..."

"None of my concern? Oh please, Satsuki, I've been in this game far too long to fall for that line." She leaned forwards. "What matters is that I have the information you want. But, like all things, everything has a cost."

"You want to work out a deal?"

Jiraiya hmphed at Satsuki's bluntness as she chuckled inside. "I know of that little incident you had with the local bandits. I also know that you got a scroll off the dead body of the missing-nin in charge. I want that scroll."

Satsuki puckered her lips in thought before standing and walking over to her desk. As she rummaged through her files she said, "I had a thought that this was strange." Satsuki took out a scroll. "This was one of the scrolls Naruto got from that missing-nin you were talking about. It's sealed with a Fuinjutsu that neither he nor Suiton can crack. It this your's or something?"

"If it was then I wouldn't have lost it."

"Hmm." Satsuki looked at the scroll in her hands and the one in Jiraiya's. "Are you going to tell me what's in your scroll? I assume you already know what's in mine."

As Satsuki sat down back at the table Jiraiya interlocked her fingers and gesturing at the scroll that laid on the table. "If you want to know then why don't you read it then? It's not the whole thing so think of it as a free trial." And she did. Satsuki read through Jiraiya's scroll slowly and thoroughly. As time passed, her face contorted into a paradoxical face of grim realization and hopeful determination. "It's the turning point," Jiraiya said. "I don't know the details of your grand plan, Satsuki, but if this world is going to go downhill like you think, then that is where it will begin."

"It's so soon." The Uchiha muttered. "For the last three years, I've gathered as much power as I could . . . I'm not ready yet. If this is true then we're behind schedule."

"Whether you like it or not, can you afford not to ignore this." Jiraiya sighed and pocketed both of the scrolls. "What's your answer?"

Satsuki stood facing her grand windows, back turned and looking at the industrial complex in the distance. "Leave, Jiraiya. You may stay here in the meantime. Just leave me alone. I . . . I need to think about this."

"I understand." Those who knew Jiraiya would be surprised to see him bow before Satsuki after a casual exchange. By the time she came up from her bow, two Kunoichi maids flanked Jiraiya. "Ya' know," The old woman began, "sometimes, you worry me Satsuki. You've worked so hard to achieve all this..." Jiraiya gestured to the surroundings, the mansion, even though Satsuki had her back turned to her. "...The world is not going to end Satsuki. Why won't you just live the rest of your life in peace?"

"The world is in more danger than you could possibly imagine, Jiraiya. I promised my Sensei long ago that I would save this world."

Satsuki's voice was monotone.

"So you say." Jiraiya frowned. "I don't know whether or not you know this, but 'saving the world' and 'killing Itachi' are goals that come dangerously close together. When the time comes, you will have to make a choice between your revenge and your promise. I'm not going to say 'I hope that you will make the right choice'. Because there is only one choice. Let go of your revenge. Killing Itachi will only make this world worse."

Satsuki was silent.

A maid placed her hand on Jiraiya's shoulder, "Satsuki-sama wishes for you to leave, Jiraiya-sama."

Jiraiya snickered grimly. "Sorry, sorry. It's just a rambling of an old pervert. I'll leave now." She glanced at Satsuki one last time. "Can't blame me, though. I am your godmother, after all, Satsuki Uchiha."

* * *

A normal man is powerless.

Naruto was not.

Even so, the maids of the Wooden dynasty playfully teased Naruto from time to time. They would treat Naruto as they would any other man in the world: I.E like a slave. Everyone, including Naruto himself, found that treating a man who could easily reduce anything into dust as a simple man, hilarious. The punch line was an ironic one.

So when Naruto walked up to the kitchen door that was barricaded from the inside, as if someone genuinely thought it was enough to actually _stop_ him, he found himself quite offended. With but a glance, Naruto saw the Shatterpoint and touched it. The door and furniture stacked up against it from the inside promptly exploded inwards with such force, one would be forgiven for thinking that a paper bomb went off.

Suiton didn't bat an eye when Naruto walked in. She was too busy enjoying what she thought the be her last meal. The girl sat on one of the counters, surrounded the plunder of fine food of her raid on the kitchen. Naruto had to double take at the look of her. Never had he ever seen Suiton as roughed up as much as she was currently. Close to tatters, her clothes were hanging by single clumps of threads.

Naruto winced, "Ouch. You look like you had a nice time."

"I did, and I blame it all on you." She said voice muffled by the rice she was shoving into her mouth. "When I found your contact, Jiraiya was there waiting for me!"

Naruto raised an eyebrow. "She was just waiting there? You didn't do anything wrong?"

Suiton nodded. "I swear I did nothing wrong. I made sure to cover my tracks and everything."

"Hmmm, I wonder..." Naruto mused. He banished his thoughts and grinned at Suiton. "But it looks like you put up a good fight!"

Suiton awkwardly laughed along. "Yea . . . sure"

* * *

 **A while ago, near that village next to the Land of Rain**

 _"Let. Me. GO! Let me go you douchebag!"_

 _"_ Oh _, my~. What a mouth you have, little girl."_

 _"I'll show you little I am when I shove a Kunai up you- OW! Did you just slap my- OW!"_

 _"My my~. Bad girls like you need to be punished~"_

 _"GO FUCK_ YOURSE _\- OW!"_

* * *

Suiton shuddered.

"Do you need anything?" Naruto asked. "I'll get the nearest medkit if you want."

"Other than food, no thanks, I don't need anything. I already patched myself up on my way here. The old woman didn't hurt me as mush as she . . . humiliated me." She shuddered again. The next clump of rice caught between her chopsticks stopped midway to her mouth as a memory came to her. "Naruto? On the way back here, Jiraiya said something about wanting to meet Satsuki again."

"Yea, and?"

"I always thought Satsuki hated Jiraiya. Jiraiya sounded like she missed Satsuki." Suiton's words trailed. She was unsure whether or not to continue on this topic with Satsuki's right-hand man. But she didn't need to say what she was thinking because Naruto understood.

The three years it took to build this empire of wood were dark times, driven by Satsuki's thirst for power and money before her ambition slowly died back into that of a cold calculated business woman. From the point of view of the five Kunoichi villages, they either saw what could be the catalyst or the winning factor of a new Kunoichi world war. And so spies and diplomats were sent to bow before Satsuki feet, to beg for resources and alliances.

The diplomats left disappointed.

The spies left without their heads.

And so horror stories surfaced. Some were born of twisted truth, others were tactical lies. No other story was more able to strike fear than the one of the foolish spy of Jiraiya the Sannin. The story tells of a series of spies who worked for Jiraiya and how they were caught. After each one, the punishment became more severe. It started with amputation, to death by sleep deprivation, then being force fed then being fed to starving rats.

Then there was the last, most foolish spy of Jiraiya the Sannin. The spy did something to enrage Satsuki like no other spy had done before. And so, Satsuki took away the spy's most precious thing; her chakra. Satsuki did not only seal the spy's chakra away with some Fuinjutsu; those can be reversed with enough research. What Satsuki did was destroy the spy's chakra network, dooming her to a life of normality.

After that, Satsuki challenged the spy to walk on water. Satsuki then watched the woman for days as she drowned, smiling every second.

The spies stopped coming after that story surfaced.

Suiton, like most people, had heard this story and believed that there is a conflict between Satsuki and Jiraiya. There was indeed a conflict, but when it comes to the plan, Satsuki was willing to work with anyone while Jiraiya was happy just being close to Satsuki for it eased her conscience.

"So how did your mission go, Naruto-kun?" Suiton asked, ending the author's monolog.

Naruto struggled to find the right word. "It was . . . It went alright I guess. I did everything Satsuki told me to do, with a little hick-up along the way, a few cuts and bruises, and another maid."

"Another maid? How many does that make it now?"

"106..."

"106 Kunoichis!" She giggled. "You're like a kunoichi magnet!"

"Yea, yea, laugh it up. You won't me laughing when Satsuki's plan comes together." He rolled his eyes. "Still, the mission could have gone better if I had more time. I would have been in a whole lot of trouble if it weren't for Haku."

"What trouble?" Suiton asked, discreetly filing the name 'Haku' into the folds of her mind.

"Just a few dozen bandits." Naruto moved away some stuff on the table and laid down beside Suiton. "I had a bit of trouble with them actually 'cus I lost those scrolls you made for me. I'm used to one on one fighting. Until now, Satsuki only ever sent me to kill one or two people. It was the first time I've ever fought more than two people. It was hard. Harder than I thought. It's easy to do with Shatterpoint. But keeping track of the Shatterpoints of 20 men in the middle of a battle is not easy. "

Suiton felt slightly disappointed at the comment about the jutsu scrolls but was otherwise intrigued about Naruto's evaluation on his abilities. "Didn't you take on a bandit camp awhile ago?"

"I did, but . . . stuff happened and I ended up only needing to kill just one Kunoichi. One _very_ dumb kunoichi, but one kunoichi none the less."

"So you can take on one Kunoichi but you struggle with a dozen bandits. Typical." Suiton agreed. Naruto looked confused at her remark. She explained. "Not all Kunoichi are jutsu flinging badasses. Some of them are purely spies. They specialize in everything that focuses on single targets. But when they are forced into open battle, they are absolutely hopeless against true Kunoichi. This is the hole you're in right now."

Naruto frowned. "I see."

"You've been doing a spy's work all this time. Now, you're doing a Kunoichi's job which calls for Kunoichi skills!"

"Kunoichi skills? You mean like making more of those Jutsu scrolls?"

"No, silly. I'm going to train you in taijutsu!" She held her hand up, expecting Naruto to protest. "Think about it Naruto. I'm a trained sabotage expert. My taijutsu style is about going around people's defenses and hitting them in their pressure points. With my style, you can redirect attacks and weave in and out of battles like a chipmunk high on caffeine! That's perfect for you and your Shatterpoint thing-a-majig!"

Naruto pondered the idea. Was learning a taijutsu style worth it?

In Kunoichi on Kunoichi fights, taijutsu was a powerful tool when used right. A proper taijutsu master can ruin the day of any ninjutsu or genjutsu specialist because of how using hand seals became a thousand times harder when someone is right up in your face. But most taijutsu specialist relies on chakra as much as the other two; they use it to get in close fast before the enemy can retreat. That was not an option for him.

At the same time, learning taijutsu might not even make him strong enough to take on Kunoichi. Sure, he can probably kill one by taking her off guard but once the element of surprise was gone, it would be a slaughter.

Then again, Konoha was not built in a day. Throughout his life, he had made small bite sized steps to becoming as strong as he is. First, he learned Shatterpoint, then Fuinjutsu. With only those two things under his belt, it wouldn't hurt to add taijutsu.

Naruto shrugged. "Sure, what the heck, I'm in."

* * *

 _This place is strange, but after a few months living around here I found out that it's a sort of strange I can live with. At least, for now._

 _In some ways, Uchiha-san's mansion was not so different from what my life was in the Land of Water. The Purge forced people together, and if I understand correctly, the wars Konoha was dragged into had forced these Kunoichi maids together. The only difference is Satsuki. If the Land of Water had someone like Satsuki, someone who would've taken in people with Kekkei genkais in their blood, then who knows how I would have..._

 _I stop walking. I was in one of the vast hallways of the mansion, one that was always baked with red light as the sun hit the ruby velvet walls. I look at my reflection in the window and I frown._

 _Eeeeergh . . . Just thinking about Satsuki and her money makes me ill. This isn't how it's supposed to be, Haku. You're to fight against the 1 percent not work for them. Look at you now. You're a maid. A fucking maid..._

 _I ignored my clothing for a moment and focused on my face, my hair. For all my life I've taken rigorous care of my hair, and the rest of my body, as any self-respecting woman would. It was the one thing my parents taught me that I actually remember learning. But . . . now that look at it, my carefully manicured body does suit this maid outfit quite well. Is it possible that I look refined?_

 _Refined. The word, when used on me, shakes me to my very core. Elegant, beautiful, sleek, royal. Is this what I look like to everyone? Is this who I am?_

 _I hear a loud bang at that moment that rattled the mansion. I hesitated before I went to investigate, then I had to let out a laugh. When did I get so used to things around here that I started to hesitate?_

 _When I went to the source of the noise, I realize it wasn't just a bang, it was an explosion. There was a giant hole where a door was supposed to be. I recognize the room the hole leads to as the kitchen. I look through the hole._

 _It was Naruto. He sitting on a bench in the middle of the room uncaring about the mess that was everywhere. Instead, he was . . . spoon feeding a little girl?_

 _A_ _fter being in the Uchiha mansion for so long it was impossible for me not to notice all the maids daydreaming about Naruto. I've always believed that the average teenaged boy would have started a harem by now if they were in Naruto's position._ _Naruto himself only ever seemed affectionate towards Satsuki and oblivious to the feelings of everyone else._

 _But seeing Naruto feeding a girl no older than 13, who had hair with the same shade of blond has he, it didn't take much for my imagination to stir._

"N-Naruto-san?" _I stuttered_. "Are you . . . a lolicon?"

 _I could have sworn the little girl rolled her eyes and muttered 'I wish' under her breath._

 _Naruto visibly bleached before he even knew who spoke._ "L-Lolicon! What are you talking about Haku-chan! Dattebayo!"

"Are you . . . a siscon?"

 _This time I notice the little girl shutter,_ "Naruto, is this the girl I've been hearing about? The one you picked up in the Wave?"

"That's me~" _I enthusiastically say. The girl hopped off the table and walked up to me. The girl circled me like a predator like she was sizing me up. I just stood there with my usual plastered smile on. I thought that I'd let the little girl have her fun but my gut told me that this girl was wrong somehow. Like she was more than her looks let on. She felt very similar to Naruto in that regard and that in and of itself is reason enough to be cautious._

 _After one complete circle, the girl stood in front of me. She was really short. Her fluffy hair makes her look like a short pot plant from up here._

"Another lost pup, huh?" _She says. It confuses me._

"Eh?"

 _The girl let out a disappointed yet somewhat amused groan. I suddenly feel like I'm missing something here. Actually, never mind. I'm always having that feeling around here._ "It's nothing Haku-san. You're not the only troubled kunoichi Naruto brought in." _She walked passed_ _me to the hole in the wall_. "I'm going to have a shower. See ya later Haku-san, Naruto-kun~."

"See ya' Suiton-chan!"

 _My gaze lingered on the girl._ _Her name was Suiton, then. That's an odd name._

"Interesting girl, isn't she?" _Naruto chuckled._

 _I had the urge to glare at Naruto. As much as I like being known around here, I don't appreciate being gossiped about, which that Suiton girl basically admitted._

"She's so small. Why is she _here_?" _I say. What I meant by 'here' was why Suiton was around battle tested veterans and a scheming Uchiha._

"Long story." _He says._

"Hmmm . . . why was she on your lap?"

"Even longer story."

 _While Naruto went to search the room for a broom after denying me of my answers, I finally took the time to look at the hole in the wall._ _The hole must be Naruto's doing._ _There was only one time I saw the power Naruto wielded and it had been used on the bandits in the Wave. Comparing the wall, which had been reduced to a billion splinters, and the ravaged bodies of the bandits I likened the damage to what would happen if I threw a watermelon off the roof. Just a bloody clump of stuff._

 _It was a reason why I still fear Naruto._

 _But it was not the prime reason. Not by far._

"Here." _Naruto passed me a broom, kicking me out of my daydream_. "If you don't have anything else to do then you might as well help."

". . .Hai." _We swept in silence. I notice, in this silence that for the first time in forever, I did not feel awkward around Naruto._ _While Naruto recruited maids passing by to clean up the mess and while_ _I cleaned, I cast glances at Naruto._

 _Even now I'm struggling to accept that a man can cause such a mess._ _In the Land of Water and even with my time with Zabuza, she had learned that any female on the street can be a disguised Kunoichi waiting to kill her while men are mostly harmless slaves. There was the occasional male assassin who thought the element of surprise was adequate to kill us but they were no match for me and Zabuza. I was taught to always fear the woman in the dark alleys but never have I felt more fearful than in the presence of a bright blond man in a suit and tie._

 _I think Naruto noticed my looks. I felt as though he noticed not because he had some extraordinary sensory power but because he was expecting it._

 _Another reason I still fear Naruto._

 _He always knew._

 _Naruto approached me._ "Haku, I think we need to talk." _He gestured towards the maids._ "Let these girls handle the mess."

 _I follow him with my head up and a fake oblivious smile. I don't think my smiles fooled Naruto. I knew by his own smiles that he was my superior in that regard._

 _We walked through the mansion, quickly heading towards a collection rooms which I was forbidden to enter. Where the left portion of the mansion was fill with maids and artifacts, the right portion was empty and left to gather cobwebs and dust. I was not given an explanation for why they left the right side alone but I didn't think the reason was ill. It sounded like they were protecting me._

 _"_ Has Kurotsuchi-chan treated you well?" _Naruto had said. We were still walking after five minutes._ "I've seen you and her working together closely for a while now."

"Hai," _I say._ "Kurotsuchi-san has been showing me the ropes and introducing me to all the maids. I think I've met a hundred by now. There are a lot of maids around here."

 _I look up at Naruto when he snickered. He had a smile like mine. It was fake but there was a touch of genuineness that almost made me believe him._

 _Another reason why I still fear him._

 _He knew how to fake it._

"A hundred?" _His snicker turned into a laugh._ "There are 363 kunoichi maids serving Satsuki, Haku-chan. The rest are around the country sorting out business. Kurotsuchi should really be telling you these things."

 _I lowered my head. Kurotsuchi had been kind to me. After she finished teaching me how to do my the basics of being a maid, she'd often check up on me from time to time. I am grateful for that. I think after all those years with Zabuza made me soft. I find it hard to talk to more than one person at a time. By being beside me most of the waking day, Kurotsuchi has given the comfort of partnership I had with Zabuza._

"At the Wave," _Naruto spoke,_ "on the bridge, do you remember what I said about my . . . gifts?"

"...You said that your power is called Shatterpoint and that you can kill anything with a touch."

"I _can_ kill anything with a touch," _He corrected me,_ "but it doesn't mean I can do it all the time. People say 'if there's a will then there's a way'. Shatterpoint makes it easier for me to see the 'way'. Do you know what that means?" _He paused either for dramatic effect or to watch the information sink in. "_ It means that Shatterpoint is not only about seeing ways to kill. It means I can see the way through conversations, through poisons and through-"

"Time..." _Where I got the courage to interrupt Naruto, I do not know._ "You told me something like that in the Wave. You can see into the future."

"So you remember. Honestly, I've been struggling to understand it myself." _He sheepishly chuckled and rubbed the back of his head. It was a very immature gesture that he liked to repeat often._ "Man, this is why I leave all the planning to Satsuki. I suck at this thinking stuff, Dattebayo."

 _Naruto suddenly pulled at his hair and screamed in frustration. I watch muted as Naruto ranted something about 'getting rid of his habit' and punish himself with punches to his cheek._

 _I spoke up when I realized he was not going to stop_. "Naruto-san? What's the matter?"

 _Naruto said,_ "Sorry Haku-chan, it's just that I've been trying to get rid of this habit of mine. Back when I was a kid, I always used to end my sentences with Dattebayo. It's something I got from my mom..." _He shook his head,_ "Anyway, let's get going. We're nearly there so I might as well get to the point."

"And that is?"

"Honestly, soon your life is going to suck for a very long time because you were unlucky enough to meet me when Satsuki's plan is just starting." _He looked at me with begging eyes._ "If you don't want to die then I suggest you leave, Haku-chan. You've already lost so much as it is."

 _I didn't see it, but I bet he was surprised when I laughed._ "I'm sorry! This is happening too fast!" _I say through my cackling lips._ "It's been six months and man comes out of nowhere with magical powers and I find myself in the schemes of a Uchiha! This is so . . . so . . . absurd!" When my funny bone calmed down enough to let me speak I say, "You're silly, Naruto-san. I'm going to be here for a long time and there's nothing you can do about it."

 _Naruto stares at me as if he wasn't the strange one in the hallway. He chuckled,_ "Wow. This is a side of you I've never seen before, Haku-chan. You're weird . . . You're going to fit right in."

 _I think we laughed together in that empty hallway for a while. Just laughed at an unseen joke, hard and loud. I felt happier at that moment. I thought of this for a long time but saying out loud how ridiculous how everything is, how I went from Zabuza to a maid for Satsuki fucking Uchiha . . . It was hilarious._

 _And here, leaning on my shoulder laughing his face off, was the frightening butler himself. With the look on his face which mirrored mine, the puzzle that was Naruto Uzumaki was solved. With his struggle with his need to be Satsuki's diligent right-hand man and that elusive carefree boy within him, he of all people deserved to laugh._

 _I jolted where I stood and stopped laughing. When Naruto stopped laughing too, I knew that I wasn't mistaken._

"Naruto?" _I ask as I look down._ "Who's groping me?"

"Jiraiya!"

 _Naruto stepped between my and the old woman who grabbed me. I held by chest while Naruto fought back the woman._

"Ow! Ow! Kid! Stop it! I get it!" _Jiraiya batted and slapped Naruto's jabs like a school girl. In hindsight, Naruto was probably trying to kill her._

"Say you're sorry! Now!"

"I'm sorry, Naruto!"

"Not me! To Haku-chan!"

"I'm sorry Haku-chan!" _Naruto drew his fists away and calmed himself down while Jiraiya extended her hand towards me._ "Sorry about that, Naruto tends to go overboard sometimes" _I glared at her and didn't take her hand._

 _I don't like this woman._

 _Naruto turned his full attention to me._ "Are you okay, Haku-chan?" _I nod. He smiled before joining me in glaring daggers at the old woman._ "What the hell are you doing here anyway? Didn't Hime kick you out of here you pervert?"

"Don't hold your breath kid. Your master and I are planning things so why don't you run along." _Being so close to Naruto, I could hear him growl while_ _Jiraiya laughed._ "Just kidding kid."

 _I couldn't believe my eyes when the old woman actually rubbed Naruto's head like a pet._ "You know I could kill you with a touch, right?"

"I know, but you won't." _She grinned._

 _I was startled when three kunoichi maids came from the ceiling and bowed to Naruto,_ "Forgive us head butler!" _That was the first time I've heard someone call Naruto by his title._ "Jiraiya-san managed to slip away from us and..."

"Forget about that." _Naruto smacked the Jiraiya's hand._ "Is it true that Satsuki didn't ask..." _He gave the old lady with a cheesy grin a dirty look._ "...Jiraiya to leave?"

"She did not, sir." _One of the maids said._ "Satsuki-sama invited Jiraiya-san to stay while she thinks."

 _Jiraiya gave a look that seemed to revolt Naruto._ "I'm your guest, head butler~."

 _Naruto looked like he struggled with the thought, but in an instant I see him shove down his feelings like a professional._ "Then it is settled. Take Jiraiya to the guest room where she will _stay_..." He gave her an extra long look to be sure. "I want one of you to go tell Kurotsuchi to prepare the household for a guest while Haku and I go prep dinner. Oh and tell the maids if they want to bathe then make sure someone is standing guard at all times."

 _Jiraiya pouted._ _It did not suit a woman of her age._ "Spoil sport."

"Yes, head butler!"

"Come on, Haku-chan." _I let out a small 'eep' when Naruto took my hand and lead me elsewhere._ "I don't think you've met our head cook yet. She's a cool lady. You'll like her."

 _I look at the hand that was grabbing mine. It felt strange, letting go of my fear of Naruto. But it was not a bad feeling. I was chained before, by my guilt for feeling relieved at Zabuza's death, and by my past with Jinchurikis. I don't know if Naruto believed me when I said I'd stay, or even if I believed myself, but I was content in thinking that we were sharing a moment together._

 _I felt content that under that frightening image I built for Naruto was a normal person._

 _I felt content I was no longer with Zabuza._

 _This was one reason I could learn to love Naruto_

 _He made me feel content._

 _He made me feel whole._

* * *

When Jiraiya showed up at her mansion, it stirred memories she had forgotten.

Three years of constant planning left Satsuki Uchiha little time to simply remember. With an upcoming catastrophe unveiling its ugly head over the horizon, now seemed like a perfect time to reminisce.

The halls of her mansion were dioramas of her adventures. She and Naruto were zealous collectors after they were introduced to the art of Archaeology. They were both enticed by the rewards it offered; be it lost knowledge in her case or power in Naruto's. Because no one other than themselves had any interest in the old worlds, a stance that she had always felt was foolish, there was always something new to satisfy their thirst for adventure.

It was a fun childhood, she concluded. Not a second was wasted during those days and there were very few things to regret.

Jiraiya came into the picture in the dying days of her tomb raiding before she gave it all up. Remembering those days left a sour taste on her lips.

After going through the Uchiha massacre, discovering she had a godmother was beyond what she could have hoped for. As a nieve child who thought she was the center of the universe, she had mistakenly believed that the spymaster of Konoha was there out of the goodness of her own heart to take her off and ride into the sunset.

Jiraiya did want to take her away. But it was not into the sunset. It was into the hands Konoha.

Satsuki clenched her fists and teeth. Her nails dug deep into her palm and drew copious amounts of blood as crimson as the fabric along the hallways.

After the Hyuga incident between Kumo and Konoha all out was seemed likely. So soon after the last war and the Kyuubi attack, Konoha was in desperate need for soldiers. They needed the Sharingan. Konoha's and Jiraiya's dastardly plot came to light because of her sensei. Her sensei never trusted Jiraiya, and rightfully so. But in her childishness, Satsuki refused to listen to her mentor's warnings.

It haunts Satsuki to this day, to think of how her sensei died thinking her beloved student wanted her dead.

Jiraiya had been trying to make up with her, ever since. On the inside, Satsuki didn't have the will to forgive her godmother for what she did. The fact that she didn't place Jiraiya on the same level as her sister was hard enough. However, she goals that needed to be reached. To do that, working with the spymaster was a small pain she can afford. She made no effort, however, to hide her contempt with Jiraiya.

"Satsuki-sama."

"Atsui-san," Satsuki turned around to face the single maid bowing before her. "You don't usually come to me without a question. Is there something you need?"

"The staff is growing anxious." The maid came up from her bow and stood straight. "We would like nothing more than to forget about Konoha and the world. We like it here. It's quiet. But ever since you let that Genin team from Konoha stay . . . It's been starting rumors..."

"And now that a Sannin is here..." The maid inclined her head slightly, confirming Satsuki's conclusion. Satsuki closed her eyes for a single second before she found a course of action. "I'll address them then; to ease their thoughts. How long is it until dinner?"

"An hour, Satsuki-sama."

"Good. Go and gather everyone in the main entrance. I'll speak to them in 30 minutes."

"Right away, Satsuki-sama."

Still stuck in her nostalgic thinking, Satsuki had to acknowledge how far she has come since her days as an adventurer. Watching a maid nearly three times her age follow her commands was, in the beginning, an amusing thing.

Atsui was but one of the original one hundred Konoha Kunoichi Satsuki managed to recruit. A majority of the one hundred started their career during the last days of the last Kunoichi world war and didn't see much of the extremes of war. However, these same Kunoichi were hit with the chaos that was the Kyuubi attack. Having lived reasonably peacefully until then, they couldn't cope. This was why it was not uncommon to see kunoichi in their late thirties working for Satsuki rather than their home village.

What might be unbelievable to some, was that these ex-kunoichi turned maids followed her purely out of loyalty to her and her ideas. What money was given to them in the form of wages were spent on nothing. As Atsui had astutely put it, they wanted nothing more than a peaceful quiet place away from the miserable outside world.

After parting with the maid, Satsuki went to the kitchen; the only place Naruto will be when there was a guest in the house.

Not long after stepping inside the kitchen Satsuki's eyes found something unfamiliar in the kitchen. Being so accustomed to all the faces in the mansion the dark smooth hair of her newest maid stood out like an eyesore.

It was amusing to watch Haku dodging out of the way of the cooks as they worked. It seems that Haku had not found the right job, even after working with Kurotsuchi for some time. The head maid bemoaned her inability to help Haku but Satsuki did not fault her. Haku served a far greater purpose than something as short sighted as servitude. Until that purpose called to her, Satsuki would tolerate her shenanigans.

Satsuki was forever impressed with Naruto's eye for Kunoichi. While it was true that Haku did have a very formal composure most of the time, it crumbled when she was put into situations like this.

She was absolutely adorable.

"Satsuki-sama!" The cooks bowed curtly and quickly upon seeing Satsuki. "Forgive me for not noticing you. What brings you here?"

"Hello everyone." Satsuki smiled to all her cooks who tried desperately to listen and cook at the same time. "Do any of you know where I can find Naruto? He doesn't seem to be here." She looked around for a moment and thought. "Also, why is there a hole where the door should be?"

The words coming out of her mouth were that of a noble lady. Despite after 3 years as the CEO of The Wooden Dynasty they still taste bitter.

"He's in his garden gathering fresh herbs." The cook that answered, gestured to the baskets of greens in the middle of the room. "Naruto-kun insisted on using the freshest ingredients. And I believe that Naruto-kun is to blame for the hole, Satsuki-sama. Contractors will be arriving tomorrow to fix it."

"Hmmm, very well. I will wait for him to return." Satsuki sighed and propped herself up on an unused counter. "Fetch me a snack while I wait."

"But Satsuki-sama, Naruto-kun won't be happy if you spoil your appetite. He was very . . . displeased last time."

"Naruto is not the boss, isn't he?"

"Right away, Satsuki-sama."

"No, you get back to cooking. No more delays." Kurotsuchi emerged out of the ocean of maids and presented Satsuki with a bowl of rice and egg. "Here, that should do."

Satsuki pouted, "Spoil sport."

"It's your fault. You made Naruto my boss after all." Kurostuschi took up a sly smirk. "I heard that you wanted the maids to gather in the lobby. I was going to head there soon until I saw you come here."

"You heard correctly. I wanted to speak to them about what's going to happen in the near future."

"Near future?" There was hesitation her her voice, Satsuki noticed. "Does this have to do with Jiraiya."

Naruto had walked into the kitchen at this point, carrying a basket of vegetables and trying his damn hardest not to lose his temper as he muttered something about 'unreliable footmen'. It was only when spotting his master did a calm face appear, much to Satsuki's amusement.

"Ah, there you are." Satsuki clasped her hands together. "I was waiting for you."

"Hime." Naruto inclined his head slightly to which Satsuki laugh.

"...Are you in butler mode? Is he in butler mode?"

Naruto shook his head. "It's been a rough time without the head cook. She had a cold for since last night so I had to take over."

"Well as nice as this is, we should be going now," Kurotsuchi said. "We have ten minutes to get to the main hall."

"Is this about that meeting?" Naruto asked. "You didn't have to wait for me."

"Of course I do. I need you by my side."

"For what?"

"Moral support."

"Ah," Both Naruto and Kurotsuchi rolled their eyes.

Naruto asked, "So what is this all about then? You wanted to talk to us?"

"Come, I'll explain on the way there," Satsuki said, already starting to walk towards the main entrance.

While Kurotsuchi went to follow Satsuki, Naruto turned and shouted, "Haku-chan! You're a maid too! Let's go!"

"EEP!" Haku knocked over a pot of soup, earning glares from all directions. "H-Hai Naruto-san."

Haku and Naruto caught up with Satsuki just as she was starting to explain the situation to them.

"The maids are getting restless because of Jiraiya." Satsuki elaborated. "This is the second time I've let someone from Kunoichi village stay here; both of times, they were from Konoha. The first time was for fun, but this time I have no choice. Jiraiya has shown me something that I can not ignore. I can't say any more until I discuss this with Jiraiya."

"Wait, you're not seriously considering working with that spy _._ " Kurotsuchi placed emphasis on the word 'spy'. Unlike the other maids who were recruited from Konoha, Kurotsuchi hailed from Iwa. Her distrust of Jiraiya came from a different, and completely rational point of view. So when Satsuki confirmed her question with a nod, the horror stories of the sannin she had learned in her days as an Iwa kunoichi replayed themselves with her as the victim.

Satsuki took her steady gaze away from her path and looked to Kurotsuchi. "Kurotsuchi, what Jiraiya has shown to me can not be ignored. All of you will have to understand that at some point, we will have to work with Konoha someday." Satsuki made an effort to look at Naruto when she said that. "For now, I just need your trust."

"I thought as much," Naruto sighed, "but you can't do much if you won't tell them the details of what Jiraiya showed you. There will be rumors and doomsday thinking."

"It will have to do. This information is the first major obstacle in our plan, Naruto."

" _Our plan_ " Naruto scoffed. "Since when did I ever get to make a choice?"

Satsuki didn't answer his question.

Haku, who was content in staying in the background while the three talked, pondered on what she had heard. Haku was not always so inquisitive - actually, she was rather docile if one ignores her irrational, vengeful hatred of the rich - but there was something about this mansion and the people in it. Though she was filled in with the history of this place, about its founding and the company Satsuki worked so hard to build, she felt like she was missing something. The most apt way she could describe this feeling was the feeling of reading the chapters of a story out of order.

Of course, she was not privy to the information of the personal lives of the maids here and their baggage surrounding Konoha, therefore she was incapable of understanding their plight. What she did understand, was that the Sannin's appearance was a bad omen for things to come.

The four stopped in front of a closed door. They could hear the maids talking among themselves in the lobby through the thick wood.

"Well, this is it." Satsuki breathed. She brushed her hair aside and fluttered her eyebrows at her butler. "How do I look? Actually, don't answer that. Complement me instead."

"Well . . . you're smart, beautiful, and you have a nice sense of humor."

"That's what unoriginal men say to their lovers. What do you _really_ think of me?"

"I think you're heartless, calculated, and you're not above killing children in the name of efficiency."

Satsuki grinned and kissed his cheek, "Aren't you sweet."

Haku turned to Kurotsuchi. She whispered, "Those two are weird."

Then the doors opened.

The main entrance of the Uchiha estate was a grand thing to behold. The estate took design cues from the nigh impenetrable structures of forgotten civilizations hidden in the depths of the mountains of the Land of Earth. As soon as one entered the mansion, a candle bleached staircase was there to meet them. If the stone building wasn't jarring enough to visitors the staircase would do the trick. While traditional estate designs used a lot of paper walls and beautiful gardens, the Uchiha estate screamed power in addition to nobility. For this reason, Satsuki loved it.

The chatter ceased as soon as the doors touched the walls. Like an army of penguins, 100 maids had lined up silently, shoulder to shoulder forming a sea of black and white. While Satsuki, Kurotsuchi, and Naruto stood commanding, Haku nervously hid behind the trio.

Naruto pointed Haku to fall in line with his eyes. Retreating into the safety of the crowd, Haku saw Suiton waving for her to come.

"What's up, newbie? First time?" Suiton whispered. Haku nodded."Don't worry. Just think of this as a practice fire drill and you'll be fine."

"Quiet you two!" Naruto barked.

"Love you too, Naruto-kun~!"

Everyone stood in quiet for a moment. At the top of the staircase, Satsuki stood, flanked by her two most trusted advisors. To Satsuki, what she heard was the sound of power.

"I've called you all here to talk about what has happened in the last few months. More specifically, how I have treated the last two guests from Konoha."

This aroused Haku's growing curiosity. This had been her first time seeing raw passion within the eyes of the maids; the only emotions she had seen prior were ones of screen happiness and amusement. Seeing such a strong emotion carry through so many maids, and being surrounded by them no less, made Haku ask questions to herself.

"I believe you are not interested in discussing that genin squad so I will not bother you with that. Nor will I fool you. We are all kunoichi here." The Uchiha made no acknowledgment to her butler. He stood uncaring. Actually, Haku had thought, Naruto seemed to be taking an active disinterest with his master's words; if that was even possible to describe. "Earlier today, Jiraiya, someone I'm sure you all know very well, came to me with information pertaining to . . . an event. We have not made a deal yet. however, there is no doubt as to what Jiraiya will ask of me when we make the deal."

Not to be contained any longer, the maids started shouting their passions.

"You're going to make a deal with the Sannin?!"

"How could you?!"

"We'll quit before working with Jiraiya!"

Haku was intimidated with the commotion around her. Clearly, the maids were not pleased. From what little Haku remembered about the tale of the Sannin, she knew that the 'toad sage' was the most detached of the trio. While Orochimaru and Tsunade fought on the front lines, Jiraiya was never to be seen. So naturally a question arose. Why were the maids, who surely had very little contact with Jiraiya when they served Konoha, show such aggressive dislike for her?

Looking to Suiton, Haku searched for an answer. Through her her, Haku saw that she had the same aloof boredom Naruto had; in fact, Suiton made no effort to hide it.

With the roar of the crowd covering her, Haku spoke to Suiton. "Suiton-san, what's going on? Why are they so..."

"Loud?" Suiton yawned, though it was bearly heard through the noise. "Damned if I know. I usually steer clear from mentioning anything Konoha related around here."

Haku frowned. From her tone, or at least what she managed to pick up, Haku figured that she was not going to get any information out of her.

While Haku stewed in her thoughts, Satsuki was waiting patiently for the noise to die down. She was prepared for this and was willing to wait out the storm of words to get her message across. Though the maids before her were of Chunnin and Jonnin rank when they left Konoha, they were human and Suiton treated them as such. To them, she was their guide as much as she was their leader.

"' _Infomation pertaining to an event'_." Naruto mockingly mimicked her tone. "They will not be fooled easily." Satsuki gave Naruto a look which that made him back off. "I'm just saying, Satsuki. Remember how they served Konoha blindly, believing the council when they said their missions was for the so-called 'greater good' they loved to preach. They've had a lifetime of honeyed words from the Konoha council. But ever since you came along, they hunger for meat."

"I never thought I would agree with him but I do," Kurotsuchi nodded at Naruto. "Besides, if this event you're talking about is so important that you'd work with Jiraiya of all people, I believe they would understand."

Satsuki thought. Yes. They were right.

Satsuki had lost sight of the bigger picture. When Jiraiya came to her with the information and when she realized that she was running behind schedule, she started to panic. After three years gathering power, now was not the time to revert back to cloak and dagger tactics. Perhaps now was the time to mobilize and tackle the coming storm head on.

Satsuki felt her gut sink. When she woke up like a zombie this morning and merrily ate biscuits and tea, she did not realize that today was the last day of her peaceful life. This must be what it feels like to go to war.

This is what it must feel like to go to war.

"Kurotsuchi, soundproof this room."

"At your command Mistress."

Haku was snapped back into reality when blue vines traveled through the walls around the room until everyone was surrounded by a cage of blue. The candles that had lit the room had died, leaving a deathly glow. The three standing above the rest and at the top of the staircase were casting shadows onto the now silent maids. Of the three shadow's cast, none was darker than Satsuki's.

What she did was not speak, for 'speak' was a verb that did not accurately describe the piercing power in her voice.

What Satsuki did, was command.

"When you chose to follow me, I made you all the same promise. That I will give you the chance to see a peaceful world where no one will use you as a tool or treat you like a statistic. With all of you at my side, we created . . . this." The Fuinjutsus on the walls rippled at Satsuki's words as if the mansion was alive. "We built a company, where everyone has the right to pursue their dreams. There are no chains, no slaves here; male or female.

"I promised you that you will live to see a world where men are their own masters, where women are not valued by the strength of their Jutsus but by the lives they effect. And we have achieved that here, with this company. Look to the village outside the compound. None of the parents will go to sleep worrying about whether or not they will have food tomorrow or clothes for the winter. They are the result of people earning a decent wage, the result of our hard work! But our company and that one village is not the world.

"You all knew this day would come. That there would come a chance, to change this world for the better. A chance to show the world of what we built and the power that comes from accepting your fellow human as an equal! This is that chance!

Satsuki's commanding voice softened at this point, replaced by compassion. Everyone, many of them old enough to be her mother, looked up to Satsuki with childlike awe in their eyes. Even Haku remained captivated by Satsuki.

"I will not treat you all like soldiers as your past leaders did once before. I ask you, not as a leader but as a fellow visionary, to follow me through this struggle. Make no mistake, where we head will only end in death. You will suffer as you did in the last Kunoichi world war and later during the Kyuubi attack. But this time, you do not fight at the command of some politician behind a desk or some defanged Kage. You will fight because you now know exactly what you are fighting for! You fight for each other!"

Satsuki took a moment to catch her breath. Looking over the crowd, Satsuki was half expecting them to have steel determination etched on their faces. But instead of cold-hearted Kunoichi ready to march off into battle, she saw loyal maids who understood. With a nod and a smile, the maids gave their hearts and minds over to Satsuki, the one person who deserved more respect than any kage combined.

"Go head!" Suiton shouted from the crowd, her eyes lit with belief. "What do we need to do?"

Satsuki smiled. "What do we do? Firstly, there is an obstacle in the way of our goal. And you all, as my bulwark against terror, my legion of visionaries, will help me overcome it."

"That obstacle starts one month from now, at the annual Chunnin exams held at Konohagakure where we will be dealing with Konoha's greatest mistake. Orochimaru."

* * *

 **You probably saw the Chunnin exams coming. It's only in every Naruto fanfiction ever.**


	7. A pathetic author's plea for help

So this is an author's note. Actually, it would be correct if I called it an 'author's plea for help'.

I don't like this; posting a 'chapter' - if it can be called one at all - dedicated to asking for help. But it's the only way I know that can somewhat ensure I get the right kind of help.

What I'm trying to say is that I'm stuck. Not in the author's block kind of way. I know exactly what is going to happen. I'm nearly done with the next chapter. My problem is the 'Do you guys even understand what I'm trying say' kind. Right now, I have no one to bounce ideas back and forth. I have no detailed analysis of my work so far. I don't even know whether you guys even like Satsuki! And she is supposed to be one of the major characters!

 **So I need a beta reader...**

For all 6 chapters so far. Preferably one who likes what I'm doing here. However, instead of correcting grammar and the like - I'll do that when I have nothing better to do - I want you to dissect each scene like an English professor on caffeine and point out what works and what doesn't. What needs more explaining and what has been over-explained.

So if any of you are willing to help me you know who to PM.

It's me by the way. PM me.

'Cus, you know, this is my story.

...

...

...

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:P


	8. Chapter 7

**AN:**

 **I always wondered. In fanfiction, we tend to portray Konoha's hatred of Naruto as irrational and dumb. So in the following chapters, I pose to you, the audience, a single question: what if they are not irrational? What if they are right to hate Naruto?**

 **Also, no one answered my plea for help which is why I delayed posting this chapter for a while. To which I say;**

 **k den**

* * *

Times of happiness was scarce for Naruto. He was cocky and expressive to be sure but rarely was he happy.

Many people felt put off by young Naruto. Other 5-year-old children were active and boisterous but Naruto had a strange calm around him, like a dead ocean. It was true that Naruto inherited Kushina's personality more than Minato's and he certainly lived up to the Uzumaki name in grand displays of hearty laughter, but there were times when he would go dead silent. He chilled the air with his presence and it served as a reminder of his strange beginnings.

In his earliest memories, all Naruto remembered was his guardian; a gentle old woman who seemed to care for him more than any other. At the time, Naruto knew she wasn't his parent. His parents were working in the tallest tower in the village that rested between the bosom of the mountain and never had time for him. He was fine with it because the old woman was always there to keep him company.

Though watching the old woman, Naruto learned the concept of old age earlier than most; the pain and loneliness the elderly suffered. So while the old woman encouraged him to play and jump like a normal child, he was happy to stay still and participate in whatever she found fun. He would spend hours in silence, reading scrolls and practicing calligraphy alongside the old woman. It was absolutely boring but the look on the old woman's face as she taught him meant the world to him. When she was happy, he was too.

The last time he would taste that satisfaction happened on the day his sister was born and the day he became the demon.

"Naruto," She had said that one night, voice trembling in the cold. "I want you to be brave. To protect your sister, you will have to carry a heavy burden. You will be hated and you will suffer. But please . . . be brave, my little Kage."

"Sarutobi!" Naruto heard his mother shout, "We have to do this now!"

Naruto faintly remembered his mothers there. Both of them were badly wounded. Blood spared nothing from its red touch save for the clean bundle of towels, where a wailing screech could be heard.

"Naruto," The old woman smiled solemnly, with twin trail of silver cascading down her wrinkly cheeks, and drew him into a hug with her fading strength. She sobbed and whispered into his ear. "I'm sorry. I'm so . . . sorry. I wish I could give you 100 years, Naruto. I wish I can be there to be with you in your brightest and darkest moments. But I failed you..."

With his head tucked over the old woman's shoulder, Naruto saw a translucent, hideous being hovering above her. Through it, the silent boy saw the subjective terrors of humanity, and a beyondness extending far more than physically possible; bringing out the innate, foolish fear of humanity's own mortality in the face of the unfathomable vastness of eternity. With what grasp the boy had on reality, he saw through the half luminous creature, the Kyuubi, the giant construct of chakra, the amalgamation of all hatred being halted in its steps.

The nine tailed monster lurched against the Shinigami's power. It roared at the old woman that dared stand against it. Then its eyes drifted over to the Naruto, and it grinned.

Even in the end, the demon had the spitefulness of a child.

The demon launched its claws out in a desperate last strike of defiance. To the horrified surprise of everyone present, the very tip of the longest chakra-tainted claw breached past the old woman and slashed the boy across his chest. In later years, Naruto would find out why the Kyuubi, despite being close enough to impale the old woman, aimed directly at him.

When Naruto fell back, his cool was broken. The cold calm he had maintained for the whole night gave way to his Uzumaki blood. Liquid frustration burned through his veins as much as the demon chakra did.

Naruto reached out. With one hand, he grabbed the Kyuubi's claw and with the other, the only weapon he could see.

The moment Naruto touched the ethereal blade that held firm in the Shinigami's mouth for eons something was unleashed. To use typical words like 'horrible', 'unfathomable', and 'mind-boggling', or even made-up words, to describe what the witnesses saw seemed wholly inadequate. When faced with a concept outside of normality, the pseudo-logical minds of mortals broke down.

And so their minds were blinded and wounded. Naruto found himself alone, boiling in the red mist the Kyuubi had been reduced to. Naruto had little time before his mind was made comatose by the crippling pain. That time was spent in staring at his beloved protector who lay dead at his feet. Even being as young as he was, Naruto saw a veil of pride ghosting the old woman's lips.

And he was happy.

* * *

 **I am the demon**

 **(Part 1)**

* * *

It was war in the Uchiha estate.

It had been a week since Satsuki had given her speech and two weeks until the Chunnin exams.

With the amount of experienced Kunoichi on the payroll, Naruto had mistakenly thought that when the time came start mobilizing their forces it would have been easy. It came to no surprise to anyone when he was proven wrong. As it turns out he greatly underestimated the purpose of the Kages.

Kunoichi of Jonin rank, who were considered leaders and veterans, had skills fine tuned for small operations with defined objectives but they were not suited for army management. The scale of which they had to command demanded skills and disciplines that were scarce among normal Kunoichi. Aside from those with a noticeably talented in tactics like Konoha's Nara clan, training in these skills was considered unnecessary. That was the reason very few Kunoichi are ever considered for the rank of Kage.

Luckily Satsuki had everything planned. Those who had believed Satsuki had grown lazy and overindulgent had their opinions of her flipped when it was revealed that in all that time sleeping in and dining of exotic food, she had created plans and procedures for times such as these. Naruto and Kurotsuchi had taken a back seat as Satsuki took to commanding her maids in a way they never could. With her newly revealed talent, from day one they've hit the ground running.

As his role as Satsuki's right hand and by extension the conduit by which Satsuki manages her business, Naruto was put to work organizing the assets of the Wooden Dynasty. Not only did he have to write lists of all known assets, Satsuki had him send out detailed and coded instructions through secret channels only he knew of. On the day of the Chunnin exams, all factories and lumber yards will start producing supplies in discreet quantities as to not arouse the suspicions of the Kunoichi villages. What those supplies were going to be used for is only known to Satsuki.

It was a tedious task and a time consuming one. With little time for socializing, Naruto had very little knowledge of what work the other maids were doing nor did they know what he was doing; something he suspected Satsuki had planned. 'Knowledge is power' she had said.

Satsuki was not the type of person to let go of power easily.

At least that was over now. Naruto was given a time limit of two weeks but he finished his job in half the time. Unfortunately, he wasn't able to spend that time going to town and eating ramen. He had some training to do.

Naruto held his fists up and kept his feet in a gentle distance. His eyes were blinded, covered by a thick cloth and yet his head darted from side to side in a futile attempt to sense what was coming.

His eyes widened and he jumped over a sweeping kick missed by the width of a hair. Blood then filled his mouth as another heel buried itself into his chest. His arm's muscle memory kicked in and he jabbed his right fist out. The air in front of his fist compressed and flew out faster than sound. There was a single heavy boom and Naruto felt flying dirt showering from the skies.

"That's good! That almost hit me!" Suiton cheered. "You're getting the hang of combining ranged and melee attacks together!"

Naruto spat blood. "I almost bit my tongue off!"

"It's your fault~."

"I told you Suiton, I can't help but see Shatterpoints! It's not like I can turn it off."

"Which is why I'm kicking your ass. The best way for you to train is for you to fight someone so strong that your powers become worthless. That person it me." Suiton smirked. "Come on, let's do it one more time. This time, with spirit!"

Uzumaki groaned before charging back into the fray.

Naruto's brand of the Hyuga's **Eight Trigrams: Vacuum palm** \- dubbed, **Vacuum fist** by Suiton - was only one of his newest techniques he and Suiton had created. In fact, many of them had taken great inspiration from the Hyuga techniques. While Suiton was satisfied in mimicking more Hyuga techniques with Shatterpoint - not that they had any teachers or material to do so - Naruto had argued the difference between him and a Hyuga.

Hyuga's targeted the Tenketsu of opponents, which are more or less static. Shatterpoints vary from person to person and they can show up on intangible concepts like time. Rather than using an existing style, Suiton and Naruto had concluded that a new style had to be made up from scratch in order to take advantage of Shatterpoint.

"Just by using Shatterpoint alone, your Taijutsu already at the strength of a low Chunnin," Suiton threw a kunai at Naruto's face which had already started moving before she even drew it. "You might be able to see attacks coming before they happen but it's worthless if they're faster, can throw kunai faster or if you don't know how to move. **Suiton: Droplet spear!** "

Naruto swatted the three spears of water to the side and ate a fist to the face. He stumbled backward, barely able to slap away Suiton's monstrous onslaught of fists and feet away from him. One fist penetrated through his defense and hit him right in the chest. He grabbed hold of that fist to keep himself from flying while his other bloodied hand retreated to the scroll hanging from his belt. " **Katon: Detonation!** "

The scroll exploded into an inferno yet leaving Naruto unharmed. Ripping off his blindfold, all Naruto saw was a log reduced to charcoal.

"That was even better than last time!" Suiton took the Kunai away from Naruto's throat. "But that is not enough."

Naruto spun on his heels and threw out a series of attack chains of his developing taijutsu. He groaned. "Why the hell did you make the scrolls touch _and_ voice activated?"

"Style!"

"...We're going up against Orochimaru and you needlessly complicate the scrolls. But that's just _stupid._ "

"Not that kind of style. It's to protect the Author's writing style. Most fanfictions have their characters say the name of their jutsus because the manga and anime did it. If we don't say the Jutsu names then we might as well call what this shit actually is; magic. Heck, why would the author write a fanfiction anyway? God forbid he'd write an original story."

"Eh?" Naruto's browed creased. "I thought only Tenten can break the fourth wall."

Suiton hummed. "Your right. We should probably shut up now before we turn meta."

Above, on one of the higher stories of the Uchiha estate, Kurotsuchi was passing through the hallway when she noticed Naruto and Suiton training. Kurotsuchi felt as though she was being worked half to death, which showed itself in her disheveled appearance, and was willing to abuse the smallest excuse for some rest. Her eyes dart between the balcony and the hallway.

In the end, she rolled her shoulders and soldiered onwards towards the basement.

To her shame, Satsuki was disappointingly unprepared for the situation. Kurostuchi had seen her brooding in private over her neglectful attitude to her goal over the years. The extent of her lack of preparation showed itself in the small size of the command center. What used to be Naruto's little Fuinjutsu lab had been converted and extended into a fully operational command center. It was not on the scale or as technologically advanced as the Iwagakure command center; though comparing Satsuki's operation with _the_ most militarized nation in the world was a tad bit unfair.

They lacked tools they necessary to operate properly; they lacked proper command structures for that matter. The Kunoichi veterans among the staff had said to the younger members that it would take some time to convert the assets of the Wooden Dynasty into something useful for their mission. But within the brilliant mind of the young master of the house, who had spent the last week contemplating over maps in the converted basement, the tools she had access too were limitless and powerful.

When she entered the basement, fellow maids saluted at Kurotsuchi. The ex-Iwa Kunoichi was irked by the sloppiness of their salutes, which had grown that way out of disuse. These women were the ones Kurotsuchi was trained to kill when she was a child.

"Kurotsuchi!" Satsuki had called from the middle of the room. "Have you done what I asked?"

The spunky maid flashed a folder in her hands and grinned. "Iwa improved defensive and tactical manual written by yours truly, Mistress."

Satsuki nodded. She pointed to one of the women working the telegraphs. "You there. I want you to take this list and transmit them to all wood yards in sectors 1, 2, and 5."

"What about sectors 3 and 4, mistress?"

"Those sectors are at sea, near the wave. They require a different plan." Her eyes sharpened. "You know your orders. Now go!"

After handing her files to the woman Kurotsuchi looked at what Satsuki was working on. The table in front of Satsuki was old and unused until she fished it out of the attic. She had converted it into a gargantuan map of the Elemental nations with a hexagonal grid overlaying it. It was detailed with the latest topographical surveys and dotted with various safe houses Satsuki had acquired.

Scattered around the map were small coin sized Shogi pieces which represented everything relevant: Maid locations, wood yard locations, and defenses, bandit encampments etc.

Kurotsuchi had very little understanding of the details on the map even despite trying to decipher it for some time - no doubt something of Satsuki's design. What she did recognize were the various markers representing all know bandit location and movements Kurotsuchi had helped Satsuki with some time ago.

Satsuki gave Kurotsuchi a dirty look when the head maid picked up one of the Shogi pieces and started flipping it like a coin. The Uchiha barked, "Look with your eyes, not your hands."

"Sorry~ sorry~." Kurotsuchi's eyes twinkled with mischief. "So you've already set up sectors, huh? You're doing pretty good so far, Satsuki."

Satsuki snatched the Shogi piece out of her head maid's hands in midair and placed it back on the map. "Don't tell me you're surprised." She turned her attention back to the map. "I don't like this. There is too much we don't know."

Kurotsuchi snorted. "What do you mean? The whole map is filled with these pieces." Satsuki glared at her when she reached out to grab a piece again.

"They're just bandits. Of course, there's a lot of them. After Naruto took care of the bandit camp in the mountains a few days ago, we know that they are connected to Orochimaru. For now, we are assuming all bandits are aligned with the snake."

"Bandits, huh?" Kurotsuchi laughed. "If they attack Konoha it'll be a bloodbath."

"I won't be so sure," Satsuki muttered, her eyes glued to the map. "Have you ever heard of a curse seal?"

"No, but anything with the word 'curse' in its name has to be bad."

"Well, you're not wrong." Satsuki's eyes drifted back to Kurotsuchi showing how disturbed she was at the utterance of the topic of the curse seal. "A curse seal is something of Orochimaru's design. To my knowledge, it's supposed to enhance the potency of its wielder's chakra but most of the time it mutates people with tainted power; especially when applied to men. If you want to know more about it, we'll have to wait until Suiton finishes her sweep to talk."

The pink-eyed head maid put her hands on her hips, suddenly overwhelmed at the number of bandit counters on the map. She chuckled under her breath, "Using slaves as meat shields are one of the main tactics of Iwagakure. They would kill to have this curse seal."

"That's another thing. Minato Namikaze is still alive. To take her on, Orochimaru knows she needs powerful allies. And who is more powerful than another Kage?"

Those words slapped Kurotsuchi right in the face. It pained her to look at her homeland on the map knowing that she might have to fight them soon. The fabled princess of Iwagakure didn't leave Iwa on the best of terms, but she and her homeland respected each other enough to leave one another in peace. No doubt her grandmother and current Tsuchikage believed that her running off with the rich Uchiha was a teenage phase and wished for her to come home; Kurotsuchi was under no such delusion.

Still, it was her homeland, so Kurotsuchi swore that when the time came to spill the blood of her former sisters, she would not enjoy it.

"All we know for sure are bandit movements, nothing else. If Orochimaru is going to pull something at the Chunnin exams, in front of all 5 Kunoichi villages, with Minato freaking Namikaze in her prime, it can't be good for anyone."Satsuki chewed the tips of her hair as her eyes darted around the map. Then she groaned, "This is getting ridiculous. There are too many assumptions, too many variables. We have to stop this line of thought before it gets out of hand."

"Why don't we just tell Konoha what's going to happen?" Kurotsuchi asked.

"Not an option." Was her answer, nudging the pile of books stacked on the floor. "On Jiraiya's recommendation, I've been digging through the Konoha law books lately. Namikaze might be a brilliant Kunoichi but she is a flawed policymaker. She has not created any distinction between military or civic issues. Both are brought to the council. If we tell the council the snake's plan, then it will no doubt reach the public."

"And then it'll be a shit show. Gotcha." Kurotsuchi raised an eyebrow. "You know, you were quick to accept Jiraiya's help. She could be using us."

"I trust her about as far as I can throw her and she _is_ using us. But if there's one thing I know about the Sannin is that she couldn't bare seeing Konoha destroyed." The Uchiha smirked. "She's the perfect patriot Kunoichi academies everywhere want to create. It doesn't excuse the amazing amount of snakes that come out of that blasted education system but who am I to judge?"

"Anyway," Satsuki continued. She gestured towards Konoha on the map were three gold coins rested. "Jiraiya and I discussed this and we plan to separate our operations. The bulk of our resources will deal with the bandits - that includes most of the maids - while a strike team will infiltrate the Konoha during Chuunin exams to disrupt Orochimaru's plans there. Jiraiya should be coming soon with someone that can help us get in."

"You're putting a lot of trust in Jiraiya."

"I know." Satsuki's grip on the table's edge tightened. "This is what I get for not being prepared for this." She bit her lip for a second before turning to Kurotsuchi. "Go tell Suiton to carry on with her duties. After that, you can take the rest of the day off. As the commander of the maids, you'll have a lot of work cut out for you."

"Of course, mistress." The maid bowed. She turned to leave but stopped near the edge of earshot. "One more question. You called Orochimaru a snake. Everyone knows what she's done, but you sound like you have some history with her."

"That's not a question," Satsuki said. "Let's just say that I've seen some of her work first hand. I'm not a fan."

* * *

Somewhere in a deep, dark place, the air that had turned misty from dust suddenly shifted. It ebbed and flowed in random patterned before morphing to slow spiral that circled around the room. There was a hiss then a pop.

Naruto collapsed to his knees through the smoke and heaved heavily while Suiton looked on, amused.

"I'll never get used to that, Dattebayo."

"You said Dattebayo again."

"I don't care."

After Suiton got caught by Jiraiya due to Naruto's meddling, Satsuki had taken it upon herself to directly control all of her 'special' people of which Naruto was included. Kurotsuchi was one of those people. She considered the ex-Iwa Kunoichi a valuable asset due partly to her bloodline but mostly for her education. As the only Kunoichi Satsuki had following her that hailed from Iwagakure Kurotsuchi has access to different, more conservative approach to problems that balanced nicely with the aggressive mindset of Konoha Kunoichi.

Just as Satsuki gave Naruto and Kurotsuchi a special task for the week, she made use of Suiton's specialty and asked her to investigate every single man, woman, and child within the nearby village for spies. Suiton had personally attended to a spy problem for Satsuki before, during the early years of the Wooden Dynasty but never did she search a whole village. That was why she brought Naruto along for this special occasion.

"You're up, Naruto," said Suiton. She clicked her fingers once and a dim flame - so dim that Naruto wondered why she even bothered - ignited within her palm, bathing the surrounding cupboards and boxes in an orange glow.

After waiting for Suiton to cover her eyes, Naruto focused on the nature chakra around him and channeled it through his eyes. His eyes burned slightly, as it always had when he used his **Senjutsu.** Seeing in a way indescribable to those accustomed to the five senses of the 3-dimensional realm, he made his way through the boxes until he reached the end of the room.

"Found something," Naruto called, turning off his eyes as he did so. He bent down and flipped over a carpet for Suiton to see. "Fuinjutsu seals. Looks like something Konoha would use."

"Of course it's Konoha. With your mom being the Hokage, how can it not be Konoha?" She laughed. "Now go away and let me work my magic."

"Can't I just use Shatterpoint and..."

"I have to earn my paycheck somehow, don't I? Now go and wait for me upstairs."

Evidence of spies living within the nearby village such as that Fuinjutsu seal was not the first one Suiton and Naruto had found today in their hunt - unsurprisingly. If truth be told, Naruto already knew most of the spies in the area due to his Shatterpoint's uncanny ability to find the tiniest of flaws in their disguises. He knew their secrets. And in a way, Naruto thought of them as friends.

The blond teen exited the cellar and was not the least bit surprised when he found himself crawling out of the cupboard under the kitchen sink. He helped himself with something to eat and sat at the kitchen table, kicking his feet back like it was a habit. It was perplexing for him to notice how comfortable he as with this house. It was like he had walked through its halls a thousand times, even though he had never physically done so.

"N-Naruto-kun...?"

"Chico-san! Welcome home."

Chico Nakao was a dear. She came to Satsuki for a small position at the nearby wood yard as an accountant or something but ended up the manager of the place. She was kind, soft-spoken, and worked harder than most. She acted weird around him sometimes but it didn't stop him from enjoying her company.

Chico clutched the frame of the nearby door, "W-What are you doing here? How did you get in?"

"Never mind that~." Naruto waved her off with an aloof smile on his face. "The real question is; how long have you worked for my mother."

"What are yo-"

Naruto interrupted. "Please, don't Chico-san. I'd have to be blind not to recognize my own mother's Fuinjutsu."

He saw Chico's hand twitch oddly and a faint blue hue hover over her skin. She spoke with a downcast look, "...I'm sorry Naruto-kun. I really liked you, truly. You deserved better than this. But I have a job to do."

"I'm sorry too, Chico . . . chan." Even though Chico started to flare her newly found chakra, Naruto remained seated. His frown that had grown on his face was not caused by any genuine sadness, rather, disappointment. That frown grew when he saw a shatter point; a single name that appeared suddenly in his mind's eye. "Who is Yukihira?"

Chico's flaring chakra wavered and disappeared at the mention of those words. Her breath was caught in her throat and she instinctively took a step back. "How do you know that name?!" She demanded.

"You were thirteen." Now Naruto stood. "It was right after the Kyuubi attack and you were just a little girl with big dreams." More shatter points, more cracks, in her psyche started to appear in his mind in the form of words. "It was chaos in Konoha. They needed more Kunoichi to help. So they took you and your fellow students out to the broken slave pens and . . . oh. Sorry, I get carried away a lot when I do this."

Chico was on the floor, fear permanently scarring her face. Excluding the erratic twitches, she laid there in an almost comatose state.

"What the hell did you do?"

"Oh, are you done already Suiton?" Naruto turned to the girl. "I just went ahead and captured the spy for you. Hope you don't mind."

Suiton grimaced at the still woman. "Did you kill her?"

"She'll be fine." He assured. Naruto knelt down and turned Chico's head, revealing black ink dripping down from her hair. "She had a memory seal put on her until I broke it. Right now she's reliving the memories that had been sealed away."

Suiton looked unsure. "Memory seals aren't easy to break Naruto-kun."

"But it _is_ possible. As long as they can be broken, I can find it." He winked playfully. "So did you find what we need?"

"Not really?" She shrugged, producing a small dusty folder. "Pictures, plans, notes . . . She's definitely spying on us, but nothing here tells us how she sends the info to her bosses. I did a small sweep but I couldn't find any messaging Fuinjutsus."

"So she's sending messages the old fashion way. It could take weeks till we find how she's sending her messages and it'll be too late by then." He looked at the comatose woman and sighed. "Ya know, I think Hime actually liked Chico-chan. I hoped that Chico-chan would someday get Hime out of the mansion for some girl time or something. Now..." Naruto closed his eyes tight, trying in vain to block out his sightless imagination. "Now Satsuki is going to make sure her last days are spent in agony."

Suiton's brow creased in thought then she looked away to the side at the thought Naruto had implied. "I . . . I don't care what you or Satsuki do to the spy. But torture isn't reliable at all. Every _good_ interrogator knows that people would say anything to make the pain stop, especially lies."

"I wouldn't worry about that. Satsuki has a way with people."

Naruto could feel how Suiton had stared at him longer than she should have as he picked up the spy. Everyone knew that Satsuki is not a people person.

While Suiton secured the house and the captive with more Fuinjutsu seals to count a noise started to grow in the background that caught Naruto's attention. The butler peaked through the shut curtains and saw a growing crowd.

"We should **Shunshin** out of here, avoid the crowd," Suiton said from his side. "I heard from some people in town that some rich lady is coming to talk to Satsuki. Rumour has it, the rich lady is has a shit ton of gold with her. Do you know anything about this?"

Naruto huffed. "I don't really care about Satsuki's business. She can do whatever she wants to do." He held out his hand and took a deep breath. "Alright, let's get this over with."

Suiton giggled, amused by either Naruto's nauseous look or the fact that he let her hold his hand, before taking his hand and teleporting away. If he had stayed that for another second, Naruto would be horrified to see a tuft of bright, cheerful, bubblegum pink hair peeking through the window of the chariot.

* * *

"Haruno."

Lady Haruno was the first democratically elected representative of the people of Konoha. Actually, she was the first democratically elected _anything_ but that achievement didn't sound as nice as 'representative of the people'.

As the representative of Konoha's civic development, Haruno had seen Satsuki Uchiha during the occasional party the ruling Daimyo liked to put on. Parties hosted by the Daimyo were treated as networking events so Haruno noticed when the young Uchiha shoot down all attempts to woo her. The only reason she went to those events was for a specific reason; a person she wanted to meet, a Daimyo she wanted to bribe etc.

Haruno was sure she was not one of those people Satsuki ever wanted to meet. Satsuki was the type of person who would only pay attention to someone if they were useful to her or if they stood in her way. Haruno was thought herself similar in that regard and so their relationship did not extend further than acquaintanceship nor did it ever need to until now.

' _No honorific. Not even Lady Haruno.'_ Haruno noticed, ' _Typical Uchiha.'_

"Uchiha," Lady Haruno inclined her head. Satsuki didn't look as affected by the lack of honorific as Lady Haruno had hoped. "I come bearing gifts."

Satsuki's judging gaze drifted from Lady Haruno to what was behind her; a convoy of wagons carrying an absurd amount of gold arriving at her mansion and a pink haired girl curiously hiding in the back of the main caravan. Satsuki signaled her maids to secure the wagons and chase away the growing crowd at the mansion gates. Her face remained stone cold.

"Where did you get all this from? I thought you were just a representative, Haruno."

Haruno took her time answering; a habit she picked up to fool the foolish into thinking she was thoughtful with every word she said. "Donations."

Satsuki looked slightly perplexed. "People don't 'donate' piles of gold."

"They do to politicians."

"Is that true? Fascinating." The Uchiha allowed herself to chuckle silently. "Who knew this 'democracy' experiment Konoha has taken on would be this fascinating."

Satsuki's mocking blow would have infuriated any normal person when coupled with her accent, yet Lady Haruno didn't react.

Lady Haruno would never be as blunt as to point out the odd way Satsuki spoke her words. The concept of differing accents had not been explored until Satsuki Uchiha appeared in the high courts of the Daimyo. Satsuki's particular accent was rough and hard-edged for someone who held herself as elegantly as she did. The common nobles talked of her accent behind her back as that of an uncultured brute, but to Haruno, it sounded like she was _overcompensating_ in her pronunciation of syllables; as if she was accustomed to speaking a language more soft and flexible than Haruno's own.

Lady Haruno shot glances to her sides, at the maids emerging from Satsuki's carefully tended gardens to watch this event. She stared at the maids and they stared right back. "Are you not going to invite me inside, Uchiha?"

"No, I am not." Satsuki unfolded her arms and descended the stone stairs. She was shorter than Lady Haruno. "Whatever you want to say can be said out here."

"Forgive me," Lady Haruno said out of habit, her eyes never leaving that of the maids, "But my words are only for your ears, Uchiha. For anyone else to hear them is useless, especially traitors."

A chorus of growls rang through the air and many maids withdrew hidden weapons from their persons. It was Satsuki's gaze alone that held them back from pouncing on the Konoha representative like a pack of wolves. Haruno looked outwardly pleased with this, which only added to their fury.

"Enough of this," Satsuki barked at her maids. She then glared at Lady Haruno, "If we're going to be working together then behave yourself, Haruno. Need I remind you that after this is over our relationship will return to normal. You don't want to get on my bad side or Konoha will find negotiating an exclusive trade deal with me exponentially harder."

"I am not here to kiss your ass, Uchiha," Haruno said, surprising Satsuki with her use of vulgar words. "Jiraiya-sama has informed me of what you have uncovered and your plans to prevent it. Disrupting the traitorous Sannin and saving Konoha is its own reward. I couldn't care less about a trade deal with someone who takes in traitors."

 _'Another patriot, huh?'_ Satsuki thought, _'I shouldn't be surprised that a patriot got the position of people's representative.'_

When Satsuki withdrew her harsh eyes the maids started to disperse with hushed and grumbled voices. "Speaking of Jiraiya, where is she?"

"Up here~." Everyone looked up to see Jiraiya sitting on the concrete patio railing of the upper balcony. The sannin held a bottle of dusty Sake and took a swig out of it, grinning that insufferable grin she always had. "Nice to see you ladies getting along so well."

Satsuki narrowed her eyes. "That Sake is from my collection isn't it."

"Maybe." Jiraiya stuck her tongue out. She Shunshinned away milliseconds before a kunai could pierce her face.

Satsuki lowered her throwing arm and signed. "It's amazing that both of you come from the same village."

"I wonder myself also," Lady Haruno winced at some unseen memory. "But Jiraiya-sama's usefulness outweighs her faults."

"Usefulness? You talk like you're the Hokage, Haruno."

"That's the power of democracy, Uchiha. In Konoha, we are all the Hokage." Lady Haruno straightened herself and schooled emotions. "Now, I believe we have much to discuss and I don't think Jiraiya-sama is eager to talk outside as you wished, Uchiha."

Satsuki laughed. "On that, we can agree. Jiraiya is probably looting my home as we speak. Come on then, let me show you my estate."

Haruno was not the type of person to show emotion, but she did give a subtle nod. It was at this point Satsuki saw the mini-Haruno exit from the main caravan. Now that the girl was in the open, Satsuki had to guess that she was about 16, or around the same age as her. She looked incredibly disarmed in Satsuki's opinion. Lady Haruno made no movement to introduce her so Satsuki reluctantly ignored the girl as she trailed behind like a lost pup with her head down low.

None of the two candy haired women made comments about Satsuki's collection of recovered archaeological goods when they walked through the halls, but Satsuki did hear the mini-Haruno mutter something about the flammability of her scarlet cotton walls.

"If you have something to say, speak up," Satsuki said over her shoulder. The Mini-Haruno lowered her head even more under Satsuki's gaze and she ceased her mumbling. Even when looking directly at her Satsuki could tell that it wasn't her eyes that Mini-Haruno feared.

"No need to talk to her," Lady Haruno implored, "she is merely here to watch."

"Nonsense, she obviously has something to say. Let her speak." Sakura hesitated under the two pairs of eyes, remembering the recent 'retraining' she was subjected to. "Well? What do you have to say?"

"Your estate's defenses suck." Satsuki's grinned savagely while Lady Haruno frowned. "You made this place and your walls out of stone from Iwa and on top of a hill. This place is meant to be defended and yet there are glaring flaws that someone of your reputation should have picked up. The hill we're on is too steep enough to stop anyone, the main gate and the inside of this estate is made of _wood_. This place is one big furnace in the . . . making."

Lady Haruno's face made Sakura quiver. She bowed her head apologetically until Satsuki started to laugh maniacally. Both Harunos stared at the Uchiha.

"Ahh, a woman after my own heart." Satsuki sighed, mockingly placing her hand over her heart and fluttering her eyelashes. "You are correct in your assessment of my estate, but you have to admit, it is leagues better than the traditional paper walls and wooden floorboards the Kunoichi clans such as the Hyuga's still use. Besides, this mansion gives one tactical advantage that makes up for all those flaws."

"What is it?"

"Hope and fear. The defenders with these walls will feel safe while the attackers will find its tall monotone gray concrete despairing. My estate serves as a big bastion of hope."

"Even worse. Making it bigger will only make it harder to miss."

Satsuki paused and fiddled with words with her tongue that she was reluctant to let free. "Well, that's not the _only_ advantage it has. There are a few tricks this building has that I will not delve into right now. One day, maybe, I might give you a reason to marvel at my estate." Mini-Haruno looked rather frightened when Satsuki smiled at her. Smiling did not fit on Satsuki's face at all. "Oh, I don't think I've have your name?"

"Sakura Haruno."

Despite not knowing where Jiraiya disappeared to, Satsuki had somehow led the Haruno's directly to the Sannin who laid flat on the floor of a random guest room. Jiraiya sent shivers down their spines, particularly Satsuki, as she giggled perversely. The room itself did not have anything within its walls that would help conduct argument or agreements other than a set of bland set of sofas but it held a special meaning for the Sannin that drew her to it. It was directly above the indoor bath.

"One word." Satsuki sighed, conceding her ability to stop Jiraiya from doing anything. "One word and every maid will come rushing into this room with enough steel and metal to make the Samurai jealous. Not that it would stop you, but we're bound to get lucky one day." Satsuki ignored Jiraiya's toothy grin and looked to Lady Haruno and her daughter. "Please, take a seat."

Lady Haruno took to the sofa's with ease while Sakura looked confused at the strange furniture but managed to cope by copying her mother. As far as Satsuki knew, Kumogakure's fabulous invention of chairs was rare in the average day of a citizen of Konoha and even more so among the traditionalist clans.

"So..." Jiraiya, who stood between the two opposing parties she had brought together, rubbed her hands together to warm herself in the face of two steel faced members of the Land of Fire's elite. "I think we know why we're all here."

"Orochimaru. She is planning something during the Chunnin exams." Jiraiya nodded at Lady Haruno's assessment. "Jiraiya-sama? Do you think Orochimaru is connected to Otogakure?"

She shrugged. "I don't know."

"Wait wait wait, hold on a moment." Satsuki sat up. "What is Otogakure? A new hidden village?"

"They claim to be." Lady Haruno answered. "They've come up fairly recently and are going to appear in the Chunnin exams. Not a lot of people know about it. The only way to know they exist is through their paper trail." Lady Haruno smirked at Satsuki. "Unlike you, I make it a habit of exchanging letters with other nobles and it is among the nobles did we notice that someone has been spending largely in the 'Land of Sound', just past the Valley of the End. And yet no one has seen their hidden village."

"Land of Sound? That barren wasteland?" Satsuki had heard of the supposed 'Land of Sound'. Its geography consisted of salty swamps and partial dry deserts. It was a useless collection of land that held no value to any thriving civilization. Being so free of government oversight, the land was thought of as the dumping ground of the world's despoiled lives. "Jiraiya, you're the spy master. Is it true they have no village?"

"Either their hidden village really is hidden, or they don't have a village." Jiraiya sighed. "The Land of Sound has no cities or even towns large enough to produce Kunoichi."

"Hmmm, remember when we stumbled on that old abandoned base a few years back, Jiraiya? The one that belonged to the snake?"

"Yea, I do. It was _really_ well hidden. Fuinjutsu on every surface. You think Orochimaru could have more of those?" Satsuki nodded. The Uchiha winced a little a the thought of it and she visibly tensed when Jiraiya all but admitted it with her eyes. Jiraiya sat down with a thump, her weight melting into the cushions. "The thought has crossed my mind. I honestly hate the thought of _more_ of those blasted places existing when we worked so hard to close that one down in the past."

"I'm sorry, I don't think I follow." Lady Haruno spoke up.

"Otogakure is probably Orochimaru's doing," Satsuki explained. "The snake has the infrastructure to train and house these 'Oto-nins' using multiple hidden bases throughout the world. Working with this theory, Orochimaru probably started to recruit from the lowlives in the Land of Sound to enter the Chunnin exams."

"So we have our main suspect!" Jiraiya cheered. "I knew bringing you two together would be a good idea."

"Don't act like you don't already know this stuff." Satsuki scoffed.

Jiraiya was being painfully blunt in her attempt to forge a quick comradery between the three of them. Ever since her Sensei granted her clarity of thought, Satsuki had become adept at noticing the hidden intentions of other's had for her. Satsuki didn't appreciate people thinking they could manipulate her into thinking what they wanted her to think, no did she find it funny when people thought they had the ability to do so in the first place. And by the look on her face, neither did Lady Haruno.

"You're right. I'm sorry." She apologized, yet smiled happily. "You were always smart, Satsuki."

Satsuki ignored her and turned to Lady Haruno. "So, Jiraiya said that you could help us send a team to infiltrate Konoha. How exactly do you plan on doing it?"

"It will be the most direct way." Lady Haruno nodded and Sakura, compelled by an extraordinary sixth sense to obey her mother, produced two sheets of papers - which revealed themselves under closer inspection as forms for the chunnin exams."The rules of the chunnin exams allow for anyone to enter. Jonins, Missing-nins, even traitors." Lady Haruno paused, her eyes darting around the room to make sure there were no hidden Kunoichi. Satsuki didn't look like she noticed the jab and continued reading. "It is etiquette that prevents the hidden villages from sending them into the exams. That, and the threat of triggering another Kunoichi war."

"What makes you think we'll be any exception?"

"Because mercenaries enter the exams all the time. There is a whole industry of mercenaries desperate genin higher to get them through the exams and you will be posing as one trying to help my daughter. That, and you're Satsuki Uchiha."

"That is why there is a ton of gold at your doorstep," Jiraiya explained further. "It help spread rumors that make it look like Lady Haruno hired you to get her daughter through the exams."

"Please take care of me." With the reveal of the full plan, Sakura bowed at Satsuki who offered a friendly smile.

Though her smile could be confused with a fake politeness, Satsuki was smitten with what she saw from the shy girl. Probably because she wasn't shy at all. Where the nobles Satsuki had to deal with on a regular basis preferred to talk shit behind her back, Sakura had no problem criticizing her home right in front of her. It was a shame she seemed to be held back by her mother's presence. The Uchiha knew she was going to enjoy experiencing Sakura when she was not near her mother.

"...Fair enough." Satsuki frowned and took the forms of Sakura to read as she would any contract. "To be honest, this was not what I had in mind. Entering the exams won't allow for any course corrections; eyes of hundreds of Kunoichi will be on us. You're more connected than me, Lady Haruno. Couldn't you get me a trading pass or something?"

"I would of, but this is a hidden village. There are anti-spying laws in place. Unless you have express permission from the Hokage, you would be kicked out in a week." Lady Haruno paused, calculating her next words. "And gaining that permission from the Hokage will no doubt come with many strings attached. The council will take any chance make sure you'd stay in Konoha indefinitely."

"Hahaha, at least you're honest about it," Satsuki smirked at Jiraiya. "See that, Jiraiya? That's what being a being a decent human being looks like." Jiraiya at least had the decency to look flushed. "I hope you realize, Lady Haruno, that this puts me in a tight spot. I only have two people that can enter the exams. I am one of them. Once in the exams, I can't properly aid my maids in dealing with the bandit problem."

"Oh? Jiraiya-sama informed me that the bandits will not attack Konoha. Was I mistaken?"

"No, you are correct. Based on the moments of the bandit population I've collected and the advice of my advisor, it seems unlikely they will attack Konoha directly."

"Then I do not care what you do about it. All I care about is Konoha's safety. Konoha is the heart of the Land of Fire. If it falls, the country falls. Everyone and everything come second to Konoha, even the Daimyo herself."

 _'It looks like I was wrong in my impression. She's not a patriot, she's a moron.'_ Satsuki thought. Jiraiya only shrugged when Satsuki looked at her.

Satsuki stared at Lady Haruno for a long while before returning her eyes to the forms. "I think you've misunderstood something, Haruno. I have my own goals. Saving Konoha from the snake just happens to play a small _small_ part in achieving those goals."

"That suits me fine." Lady Haruno said. "As long as we seek the same outcome I will work with you. The enemy of my enemy is my friend, after all."

"Hmmm, an alliance based on mutual hatred is a fragile one at best." Satsuki looked plainly back at her. It was not obvious at first but after a few seconds, Lady Haruno realized that she was looking over her shoulder rather than at her. "Case and point."

Naruto had been standing there for a while actually, enough to know that Lady Haruno was here as an ally rather than the captive she should have been. The comatose body of Chico at his feet was a small detail in Naruto's mind that was otherwise preoccupied trying to burn a hole in the back of Lady Haruno's head. Suiton was there also in the beginning but she had the brains to get the fuck out of there before the room spontaneously exploded or something.

"What the fuck is she doing here," Naruto growled.

"Naruto!"Sakura gasped. Satsuki took note of her excitement from seeing her butler.

"She's here to help, Naruto. Having a Konoha council member on our side will help us greatly." Jiraiya said.

Lady Haruno raised an eyebrow. Normal people didn't accept their manservant talking like that.

"I told you!" He yelled at Satsuki. She was still calmly reading the exam forms. "I told you what she did to me. She made my life hell!"

"It wasn't that bad." Lady Haruno hummed. " A little pain builds character."

"...You talk a lot for a dead woman."

"Naruto." Jiraiya was stern in her. The Sannin stood between the slowly advancing boy and Lady Haruno before he could get his hands on her neck.

"Jiraiya." Satsuki finally spoke up. Even when sitting, her now swirling crimson eyes and dominating glare could silence the room. "He is my butler. No one can tell him what to do other than me. And Naruto," When she turned to him, her eyes softened in a way only Naruto could pick up on but otherwise she look as angry at him as she was at the Sannin. "Wait for me outside. I'll be there shortly." She spared a glance at the body. "And take Chico with you. I'll expect an explanation later."

"You can't trust her, Satsuki." He protested, his voice now calmer yet still loud. "I learned long ago that she might look like she cares for Konoha but her loyalty belongs to herself."

Lady Haruno looked at him, amused and patronizing. "You were 5 back then. And you left a year later. I don't think you have the mental capacity to judge my character, now or then."

"Stop antagonizing my butler, Haruno." Satsuki sighed. "I said go Naruto. I don't think you'll be waiting long. We've already finished the meeting." Naruto's lips moved to speak again until Satsuki's eyes turned crimson once more. "Do you want to be treated like a child? I can do that if you want."

Naruto made a face at Satsuki that reflected a similar glare to hers. He was one of the few people who could do with without igniting the powder keg inside her. He huffed and he puffed but in the end, he did not start blowing. He fixed a temporary mask of emotional neutrality and bowed before dragging his ill-gained prisoner out with him by the feet.

"A boy like him needs manners." Lady Haruno said as soon as the door closed. "He failed as the Hokage's child, failed as a Jinchuriki. I thought that he would be of some use as your servant, but it seems he failed at that too." Lady Haruno stood, followed by her daughter. She looked around. "Since I will be providing transport for the exams, I'll need a room to stay in for the night. This room will do."

"Yes. Please make yourself at home." Satsuki nodded. Then she added as an afterthought. "Just try not to piss off the maids. I can't have you dying on my carpet."

"Ah, that's what you call this then." Lady Haruno stretched her toes through the textile covered floor. "Perhaps I might do something like this at my own home. Now, unless you're planning to stain the floors yourself, I suggest you take your kunai and leave. I'm awfully tired."

"Bloodstains clean easy with a little Genjutsu, _Lady_ _Haruno_." Satsuki spat out her full name and title. She made no move to remove her white-knuckled grip on the kunai at Lady Satsuki's throat. Three tomoe spun within her eyes oozing the pure cool wrath every Uchiha had at birth. And yet Lady Haruno remained remarkably calm.

"Genjutsu..." Lady Haruno looked at her daughter who stood still with a dazed look in her eyes and a smile plastered on her face. "That explains why my daughter is not moving, but why aren't you doing anything to stop this, Jiraiya?"

"Because you need to hear this as much as she needs to say it. Good luck~." Jiraiya shrugged. The Sannin smiled at the look Lady Haruno was giving her as she left the room through an open window, leaving fading sounds of a perverse giggle of a person up to no good.

"Now that you have my attention," Satsuki began, drawing her words out through her grinding teeth. "If you do anything to Naruto, I'll kill you. If you provoke him, he will kill you and I will let him. And if you dare pull any bureaucratic shit on him or me during the exams, we will both kill you. _Slowly_."

Lady Haruno looked blankly into Satsuki's Sharingan eyes, and she smirked. "Be careful what you say, _Uchiha._ Your weakness is showing." She laughed causing the kunai to dig deeper into her throat. "You didn't get this angry when I antagonized your maids earlier. People might think you actually _care_ for that _failure_."

She couldn't deny it and they both knew it. The kunai was withdrawn shortly after. Satsuki didn't see the point in talking any longer and she left the room with silent contempt. Lady Haruno continued smirking long after Satsuki left her alone even as she looked at her daughter who still had that dazed look on her face.

"Fine," Lady Haruno said, taking out a string of Fuinjutsu seals out of her daughter's pouches. "I'll do it myself."

* * *

Naruto had not waited outside like Satsuki asked, instead he went straight to his master's room - the only place where they could speak openly and frankly as friends. He had left Chico to the maids so they could tie her up somewhere and had stripped off his shirt, partly to clean off the grime gained from raiding the houses of spies and partly to remind Satsuki of the scars inflicted upon him in that one short year he lived in Konoha as their Jinchuriki.

By now Naruto had gotten used to the chopping board esque body. The scars represented something that was, luckily, only skin deep and its associated memories were only pain. Its phycological ramifications had been realized as intended and eliminated with the help of his sensei and his dear friend Satsuki Uchiha. All the scars were to him now was a lesson:

Never trust Konoha, for its leaves hides its dark roots.

"Hello, Naruto."

Satsuki didn't bat an eye at her shirtless butler but she was gentle in the movement of her body. Soon after she closed the door and activated the newly implemented privacy seals, the short girl immediately hugged Naruto, holding his chest close. She had wanted to be close to her closest friend since the beginning of this blasted week of preparation and she sorely missed letting out that small affectionate girl inside her out. Now, after Jiraiya's associate was revealed, seemed like the right time to do so.

Naruto did not return the hug.

"I dealt with Chico," Satsuki rubbed her cheek against Naruto's chest. He felt warm. "Haruno saw her, so I thought it would be safer to let her go."

"...Sorry about that." Naruto's ire buckled when he smelt Satsuki's stench. It smelt of sweat and ash. "We should just kill her. Then we can keep Chico and make the world a better place. Two birds with one stone."

"You know I can't do that Naruto."

"Yes, you can!" Naruto was forceful when he pushed Satsuki away from him and onto the bed. "You knew what she did to me! You promised me that you'd be there for me and you broke it! Do you know how hard it was to tell you? I didn't even want to tell you in the first place. But sensei convinced me. She said that you'd die before hurting me." His face contorted in a half cringe, half wince. It was had to remember a fond memory with the anger he had burning within him right now. "Sensei was wrong about you."

Satsuki was shocked, hurt almost. They both did not treat the memory of their sensei lightly. The brandishing of their sensei's memory did wonders in cutting through their internal wall of excuses and arguments. They had too much respect to dance around her lessons.

For the second time today, Satsuki was could not deny the truth that was being spoken. Their sensei would be disappointed in her. So she responded any 16-year-old Uchiha girl would.

The wrong way.

"You have some nerve, Naruto." Satsuki snarled pure venom. She stood, taking a step closer with every word she spoke. "You have no right to complain. You know exactly what you signed up for when you followed me. You could've left. You could've fucked off to the edge of the world where no one could bother you but you didn't. You got on your knees and _begged_ me to let you follow me."

Satsuki stood face to face with Naruto, her Sharingan eyes kneading with chakra that could put him into an endless genjutsu, "You think sensei was wrong about me? She would _loathe_ seeing what her pretty little blonde who wanted to be Hokage has become. What happened to the little boy with big dreams, huh? Why is he complaining and whining like a bitch when could do something better with his life, because I. DON'T. NEED. YOU. HERE."

Then a sharp, hot pain spread through her cheek. The slap came harder and faster than any normal man could achieve.

Naruto stood back. The emotions within him - anger, disgust, despair, and shattered pieces of love - swirled within him in an ugly, gooey concoction that slathered his heavy heart. His eyes watered and his crimson angry cheeks whitened to the cheeks of a crying child. He desperately wanted to cry then.

"Don't you dare say that. You know why I don't want to be Hokage anymore, and why I follow you. . . And I think you might be right; you don't need me." Naruto's voice cracked as various liquids oozed uncontrollably from his face. "But _I_ need you. Because I _love_ you Satsuki. You are my best friend. And I would die for you. As long as you are happy, I am too."

Her Sharingan eyes were still active. Satsuki had the broken face of the strongest man she had ever known burnt into her mind. And then she broke too. Along with the remnant of that little Uchiha girl who lost her family, who found peace in the arms of another broken soul.

'Was this moment inevitable?' she would wonder in the far future. Without their sensei, they thought their bond was strong enough to last any storm. 'But was it really?' was the follow-up question she would pose. 'Was their friendship held together by only their sensei?'. Satsuki's brilliant mind would always come up with the same answer; yes.

"After all this time," Naruto said, picking up his clothes on the way out. "I think I deserve a little respect."

He slammed the door.

"...I'm such an idiot."

And then she sobbed, a sight of extreme emotion that only Naruto could bring out of her.

Lady Haruno, it seemed, was right.


End file.
